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I'm not sure about forbidden positions but The Girlfriend's Guide suggests "doggy" and spooning.
I think as long as you are comfortable you are ok. I kept asking my OB about sleeping because I end up on my stomach every night. She said that if it was a problem it would be waking me up! For my recent pre-natal massage, I laid on my back for about 20 minutes without a problem :)
(And now I want another massage!)
@FutureFisher - I really need to pick up that book. I hear good things about it.
Forbidden positions? At 20 weeks most people are just beginning to show,aren't they? I think any is fine as long as you can be comfortable. Honestly,this is the first time I've ever heard of this as we were always told just to use common sense and comfort as our guide.
@Roddy; I own it. It's pretty good, it's much more readable than "What to Expect." There are some pages of the book I want to tear out and burn (I disagree with the author from time to time) but other than that it really is a great preggo read.
For the positions, I think that they become forbidden because they become impossible! I swear to you that missionary is not possible in the third trimester! My poor husband must be so bored! We've pretty much figured out that everything is uncomforable for me except spooning. Then my doc said no more sex for us. Poor DH!
Yes, smyley. Since this is my first and noone really talks about this stuff, I want to make sure I am aware of these things. I am sure I am being a little too cautious but isn't any first time parent?
As for showing, I was showing between 12 and 15 weeks and speaking with my doc, she had mentioned that at 20 weeks they prefer us not to be on our backs for long periods of time since it can cut off blood flow to our hearts and the baby.
Thanks for the info though. I did know as long as we were comfy it should be OK but I have heard from somewhere that spooning was a suggested position closer to the due date. Although, some say you are supposed to not "do it" around 60 days to the due date. Did anyone else hear that?
BTW -- Common sense isn't so common :). So sad but true.
@Mighty - Oh no! No more sex? I actually warned the hubs about this and I think he is ready for it. Hopefully!
There are people who are closer to the due date that need a little help and their docs recommended lots of sex. Maybe you will get to that point :)
Roddy- I think you are ok to have sex until you deliver unless your OB tells you otherwise. They'll put you on pelvic rest if you are dilating or the cervix is thin, but otherwise you should be just fine!
I checked the mail everyday but now that I have it, it's not all it's cracked up to be. It was written in the 90's and all the secret pregnancy suckiness she writes about all stuff I can read at OMGMom's blog, didn't cost me anything and is way more funny and honest.
If you want it though I'll send it to you : )
I agree with Mighty that the author needs to be slapped for some of the things she writes. Umm, drinking during pregnancy isn't something I agree with.
I wasn't suggesting anything other than as long as you're comfortable you should be fine. No sex at 2 months before? We used to be told to do it as much as we wanted to and could manage as it might stir things up and help get labor started,especially around your due date. lol
I think first time parents worry about everything. Next time around will be a piece of cake. :o)
I haven't heard about any forbidden positions; I pretty much did what was comfortable. If anything is hurting anyone, you'll know about it.
And as for not having sex up to 60 days before labour, it's not really true. There are some wives tales that say semen can induce labour, but your baby is only going to come when it's ready. Having sex around the due date can sometimes help induce labour (my SO and I tried, to no avail!), but I really don't think that that is something that you have to worry about before the time is near.
Yeah I liked the Girlfriends guide but I refuse to be 8 months pregnant doing it doggy style. There is just a mental image there that I can't get out of my head and it is not pretty!
As far as not doing it as you get closer...I believe its one of those things that is supposed to help induce labor if your body is getting close to being ready but I've never heard of a cut off time.
Like all "natural" induction techniques they are supposed to assist in what ever your body is ready to do anyway.
@Smyley - I know you weren't suggesting anything else. There is conflicting information everywhere. No wonder why we are so confused at times. When I bring up some of the things we aren't supposed to eat or do to my Mom, she just laughs and says, "they never told us that".
I am hoping we are that couple that should have lots of sex to get the labor started :). That's a benefit for me and the hubs!!
Anyway, smyley I am such a worry wort and I know for sure my next pregnancy I will be more lax. I kind of wanted to see how strong willed I would be with this first one :)
@FutureFisher - I will check that blog out. You aren't the first person to recommend that blog. Thanks!
@Derby- I agree doggy seems a little to dirty for an almost mom to be doing.
i had to see what "forbidden positions" you guys were talking about lol.
Is it me, or is spooning terribly difficult in general?
Also, I'm under the impression if you prop yourself up your blood flow is ok. At least this is what my gym instructor says b/c she does chest presses on an incline and explained it to us.
but really, i'd definitely avoid a lot of stuff in the kama stura =]
@ejs4y8--hahahaha! Yes, I think spooning is terribly difficult! And, after all that work, it doesn't even do much for me.
@ejs - I find spooning to be incredibly ineffective for us. LOL
From what I was told, you can definitely prop yourself up. I do that all the time when I need to lay on my back, put a pillow under one side of my hip so that my upper back is laying down but the pelvic area is shifted.
The only time we've successfully managed sideways sex (ok it was like backwards spooning, really) was our wedding night. We tried it again once and I was like, how the hell did we do this?! It's so weird! Where does your leg go? lol
Oh yeah i'd imagine sitting up makes for uncomfortable sex.
What if you lean up against something? Assuming you're not so preggo face to face action is just awkward. I'm imagining those high school dances where they want a basketball between you two, lol. But you could lean up against the side of the bed so you aren't laying down necessarily but the angle of penetration isn't as awkward as say, a 90 degree angle.
Maybe just throw in the towel and buy a vibrator, LOL.
The discussion makes me smile... :) My doctor told me to have as much sex during pregnancy that my husband and I want. She said sex helps stretch the vaginal and perineum muscles, plus it is a good way to keep physically active during pregnancy.
Ummmm, I'll also add that there are plenty of safe positions for pregnancy sex that aren't doggy or spooning. "The Girlfriend's Guide" isn't very imaginative. 
@ejs - You are too funny!
Actually, I currently enjoy being on top which is something I didn't like when I wasn't preggie. So we have been doing that and so far so good. This last time was the first time the hubs started thinking about what the baby would possibly be thinking during this moment (even though it isn't true). He was sure she was going to do something to me in revenge, lol
We like spooning sex and I'm not pregnant... It's in our "regular rotation." Thats definitely TMI though. I can tell you where to put your leg, if you really want to know... Message me or something. Not giving all that info here! lol
My husband has mentioned before that he doesn't think he'll want to have sex with me when the time comes where I'm pregnant and showing. Maybe he'll change his mind, but he's on the "what if the baby feels it??" boat lol. Reminds me of Knocked Up.
I didn't mean to imply that my "no sex" order was typical, it isn't! It just so happens that my body has reacted pretty badly so far to sex, and we want to be careful.
I think that 60 day rule may have been invented by a pregnant woman who wanted her hubby's hands OFF! LOL. My um...gear...is all swollen down there now, and sex is SO the last thing on my mind! I don't want anything going in or out!! I'd make that up as a rule if my doc didn't already bail me out.
As a second reference, you should consider reading Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. She has a pretty funny chapter in there about Blue Twinkies and a hilarious description of doggy style when you're 8 months along!
I ordered Belly Laughs last week and have been checking the mail everyday..no luch for today : (
I hear it's hilarious!
wow, this is a funny thread. not to be TMI, but depending on your belly size, missionary can indeed work way up until the end... you just have to increase the angle. We kept sex in general up until I think maybe the last 3 days... I didn't have a decrease in libido and at the end we were desperately trying to get things started, labor-wise.
And I like spooning-sex, but my DH hates it. He says he can't thrust. JoesWifey, I'm PMing you! :)
I can think of at least one position (that feels awesome) that would be pregnancy friendly, but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to describe it, or draw it with stick figures ... hmmm
Are you talking about sideways? Because that IS awesome! (And easy to do even with a huge baby bump!)
It is sideways ... kind of - I would imagine it looks like a giant human pretzel (LOL) but the belly would totally not get in the way, you both lie on your sides, perpendicular to each other (like a T), your back is towards his face, and you are kind of facing his feet ... your bottom leg is between his legs, your top leg goes over his hips, his top leg goes in between your legs.
I am not sure if you can visualize how it would work ... but it is easy to get into, your belly is kind of off on its own, and you get some added ahem ... friction on the girl bits from his leg (sorry if TMI)
I can't resist contributing. At 34 1/2 weeks our canoodling is still really regular and I'm always on my back (probably because I'm lazy and I think because hubs likes to be on top so he can support himself and know baby isn't getting squished, if I'm on top I think baby is fine if I put all my weight on him and it freaks him out). The "stay off your back" thing is really overexaggerated in my opinion, if you feel sick or lightheaded you should switch, but just use common sense. Plus I admit I kind of like being a bit lightheaded during sex. Once I was on major painkillers when we did it and it was the best time ever. Unfortunately I'm anti-recreational drugs so I don't get to replicate that experience very often. ;)
I'm not pregnant but wouldn't this position work too? You lay on your back with your butt at the edge of the bed and the guy stands next to the bed and goes at it. Your belly wouldn't get in the way and the guy has to do most of the work so if you closer to the due date you can just be lazy. It's my favorite position. I guess it's like a modified missionary.
Everyone and every pregnancy is different.
For example in my first pregnancy, I was 9 months and people were asking me if I was 5 months. I carried my daughter high, she always felt like she was under my ribs. So for me I didn't have any problems with positions including missionary. My partner had issues at first, he was worried about squashing her, but soon realised that in all reality the baby is inside my body so if I didn't feel squashed she was most likely fine as well. That said I am now pregnant with my second, and already have a larger belly than my first pregnancy at full term. And this baby feels like its about to drop out of my stomach I am carrying so low.
A friend of mine was confined to a wheel chair with her first pregnancy from about 6 months because the ligaments around her pelvis softened so much that it huet for her to walk because the two sides of her pelvis would grate against each other. So sex was out of the question for her completly.
I believe as women, we know our body. We know when we aren't comfortable and things just don't feel right. I think do what you would normally do, and what you and your partner like to do. if it starts to feel uncomfortable, you can always try to adjust it to work. For instance in missionary your partner could hold his weight off of you using his arms. Just as nice, just as intimate, but without all that pressure on the stomach. Follow your instincts.
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As you go through the pregnancy, I am sure there are "forbidden" positions that should be avoided during sex. I know after 20 weeks, we are not supposed to be on our backs. So I am curious as to when (if at all) other positions should not be performed during the pregnancy.
Any idea?