(Closed) Forced Officiant! Rant/Vent/Sad

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

 

If you’re not accepting money from either sides, then do whatever you want. If you are, you may need to give somewhere.

Tell you grandpa you want him to walk you, not marry you.

If I were athiest, I would not want my marriage blessed by any religion. It would feel empty and fake to me.  I’m not sure of the process for a blessing, but I would imagine that you would need to be members of a church for a priest to want to do it.

I would tell them they are welcome to have the marriage blessed, I just would not be participating.

Post # 4
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Can you tell your grandfather that you want him to enjoy the wedding as a guest? That might make good sense. Or tell him that you appreciate his offer to officiate, but you would it would be more meaningful to you if he would do you the honor of walking you down the aisle. Then give him puppy dog eyes. How could he say no to that?

Post # 5
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I mean, it’s not a secret that you’re athiests, is it? Just tell him you want incorporate things in your ceremony that he is not comfortable with, and you don’t want to put him in an awkward position.

Post # 6
Member
511 posts
Busy bee

They haven’t taken anything from you; you’ve allowed them to make these demands of you.  If it’s not your vision of your wedding, then say so.  At some point you have to have the courage to stand up for what YOU believe in.

Hang tough 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I would tell him that considering his recent surgery, you are concerned with his health and would prefer him to be a guest so he can sit down and be comfortable throughout the ceremony and whatnot. That way, you can have an officiant that is more in line with what you believe.

Post # 11
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@piacavoleKt:  I see. :/ Well, if you’ve put you’re foot down and they’ve pulled the whole “hurt feelings” bullshit (which even though I’m Christian, I don’t agree with; it’s your damn wedding), and you’re not comfortable with a “middle-of-the-road” ceremony (which apparently would still cause hurt feelings anyway) I would seriously do it YOUR way.

Because honestly, at the end of the day, it’s the beginning of YOUR marriage. You have to live with the memories of your ceremony most intimately, because they’ll be the most important to you. Sure, your family may say it’s really important to them, but it will never mean the same as it does to you. If you know you won’t be happy with a Christian ceremony, don’t have one. No one will likely carry the significance of your ceremony with them the rest of their lives with them because it wasn’t their marriage, so don’t bow to their needs.

They will get over it, I don’t care how religious they are. I have super religious people in my family too, and they’ve forgiven worse things. Do your wedding your way. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

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