- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Hi bees (sorry it’s so long)
Hi bees (sorry it’s so long)
I think she’s just complaining. My sister got married in Hawaii, a tax writeup for his whole family because of an Amway convention, and we grumbled, but ended up going and having a good time, happy to be there.
Sorry she’s giving you so much grief! I’d don your sealskin coat and just let her criticisms roll off your back. Obviously as a self-supporting bride she wouldn’t be able to dictate anything anyway.
@jsanford: thanks. I’m shopping for one, since I’ll have 14 more months of this. It’s just not making sense to me. We purposely decided not to have a wedding party and were not even having a shower. If no one comes, it’s our honeymoon; but, as my family is already on board and we have his son, its a gathering. I just don’t get how someone can feel “forced”. 🙁
Does she travel other places? Maybe the idea of travel, even if it’s for an event as special as her son’s wedding, just is not something she’s comfortable with. In any event whatever her reason, she needs to respect your decision to have the wedding where you desire.
I’m not into cruises either but geez, I’d just politely decline if I felt the need, not start a fuss about it…
I think a DW is a big ask for family and friends (I had a DW). In a way for parents it is kind of forcing them because can you imagine the posts if the parents decided not to come? Or the guilt they might feel for not attending.
I think when you choose a DW you need to accept that some people are not going to be happy about it especially if it is going to be tough for them to attend (money/time/life). Your family and friends love you and want to see you get married. It is a big thing to see your children get married no matter how many times they have done it before.
I am not saying you have to change your wedding but I do think you need to accept that DW’s can cause a lot of tension.
@fascinated: they are going on a cruise with Carnival this year ::Crossing fingers:: that trip will be uneventful. So she does travel. She doesn’t like to fly. Our cruise is leaving out of FL. I think it might be because her daughter ( read BFF) has decided she can’t / doesn’t want to go, she feels like she won’t have fun with her husband.
@j_jaye: thanks. I understand that and I’m cool either way whether they came or not. I’m just not understanding the passive aggressiveness. Before we booked she had the chance to say something and she didnt. Then to expect us to turn what should be a private ceremony into a circus. I’m just not agreeable to it. I’m trying to find the middle ground, the win-win, but I don’t feel like I’m wrong. Especially when she’s always talking about the regret she feels for not doing the things she wanted to with her wedding 30+ years ago Because of her husbands family. It feels like the cycle is just trying to repeat.
We had a DW wedding and had similair responses from family but stick to your gut. We have now received thank you’s from all these people that we had a DW and that it gave them a holiday. It has also given a few of them the travel bug and they are already planning there next holiday 🙂
I would love to attend a wedding like yours!! It sounds awesome! Maybe she is just jealous that that would have been a wedding that she wanted. Or maybe she’s just a sour puss. Don’t worry about her, as long as you and your fiance are happy doing it that way then go for it! It’s your special day so do it the way you guys want 🙂
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