Forced to lose weight?

posted 3 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 3
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Grandmothers can be so difficult. Mine certainly is.

However, if you don’t like her “terms,” you know what your other option is….

Post # 4
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@cwedding14:  Buy your own dress.  Even if she could buy you a nicer one, it will be attached to weight/body image/family issues and you’ll remember them every time you see it.  It’ll be that dress Grandma used to blackmail me into losing weight.  It isn’t worth it.

Post # 7
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@cwedding14:  I would rather wear a $20 thrift store dress at my wedding then wear the dress of my dreams on those terms. If you’re fine with how you look and your FI is attracted to you nothing else should matter.

Post # 8
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@cwedding14:  Honey that dress will give you bad feelings every time you look at it! It will ruin the dress for you!

Post # 9
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That sucks 🙁 my mom keeps telling me I need to lose weight because mine doesn’t fit properly (it does) so I know exactly how you feel. Honestly, if you want to lose weight, do it, but not because your grandma says so because you want to. And do it safely!

Post # 10
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@cwedding14:  you can get a wedding dress for $100.  You can look for vintage ones.  Some brides sell theirs after their weddings.  Go into any bridal shop and they’ll have a rack of dresses under $200.  Even less.  Or, go way back to the old tradition of wearing your best dress for your wedding.  White wedding dresses, as a custom, are only about a century and a half old.  I mean, you should have a dress that’s what you want, but you shouldn’t give your grandmother the power to blackmail you like that.  It’s not fair – it’s abusive.

Post # 13
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@cwedding14:  Then have you tried telling her that, when family helps each other out, it’s not supposed to come with strings attached?

Post # 15
Member
809 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@cwedding14:  if it makes you feel any better, I have the same problem, only with my parents, and I’m technically underweight (size 0)! my mom is like severely underweight (size 00), and my dad likes very thin women. shrugs.

I’ve come to terms with it, my SO loves me anyway, would even rather I gain weight to be healthier. 🙂 I think the biggest issue was that, although I always blamed my parents for my insecurities, deep down it mainly came from myself. perhaps they CAUSED those insecurities, but it’s only my fault if I hold onto it later in life!

do YOU think you’d look better 20lbs lighter? or do you truly, deep in your heart, love the way you look exactly right now? is your grandma digging up existing insecurities, or is she making you lose weight when you’d rather not look thinner, at all?

Post # 16
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@cwedding14:  Pardon my french but fuck her. I would buy a dress online/off the rack that I loved on my body before I let somene push me around in terms of my fitness. My body is my decision. If I wanna lose weight, I will. If I don’t, I’ll tell you where to stick your suggestions. There is no dress in the world so beautiful I’d let someone control my body to get it, and I will say anyone who tried my whole life to force me to look a certain way would not be invited to my wedding and I wouldn’t be afraid to say why.

There isn’t just one dress out there for everyone. Find a dress you can afford that looks beautiful on YOU. It’s the DRESS’ job to fit you, not your job to fit the dress.

Oh, and the reason she feels entitled to act the way she does is BECAUSE people walk on eggshells around her. I can’t stand people acting like someone rules the roost even if they’re a jerk just because they’re old/family. If someone stood up and told her her behavior was unacceptable maybe she’d reconsider it.

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