Forced to make a Wedding Registry

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee

There are some registry stores that will accept returns for store credit, or will issue you a refund check. If you don’t register anywhere, you may get a lot of random gifts, that will take time to return, or you might not be able to. P.S. Ignore your sister.

Post # 3
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We were in a similar situation. It’s common for people where I’m from to give money in a card rather than a physical gift from a registry. I made a small registry for a few nicer things I would have liked to have or upgrades to things I already had (new matching everyday dishes was my big thing). We got a few things from there but most people still gave us money, and we just left the registry up to word of mouth.

So while we also didn’t need anything, I do like having a nice set of matching everyday dishes, cassserole dishes, etc. Is there anything like that you might want to register? A kitchen gadget you’d love to have but would probably never go out and buy yourself?

Post # 4
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

FutureSully99:  We were in a similar situation- we weren’t going to register, and my mom insisted. Soooo we registered! And it turned out there were a bunch of things that we want but haven’t gotten. We even registered for things that aren’t traditional- board games, suitcases, Southwest gift cards, beach chairs, you can be creative. We use myregistry.com because you can register stuff on there from all different stores, wherever you want, and have all these different miscellaneous things. 

Post # 5
Member
2517 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

FutureSully99:  same situation here. And our current home is pretty small so I really don’t want random things I don’t need taking up space.  if your area is like mine where cash is typically the norm- maybe what we are doing will work for you

I am creating a registry for the bridal shower and taking it down after the shower :-0 or just having a few things left…

 

Post # 6
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m using cardavenue.com and registering for a whole bunch of giftcards to several different places like costco, home depot, visa, amex, whole foods, etc…We are in the same boat – we have everything we need. But we figured why not register for giftcards? They’re more practical and it’ll help us save money we would have otherwise spent on food, bills (use the visa or amex for these), etc. And you can always save them and use them later when you’re ready to.

 

Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m with you. I’d already owned a home and we had gotten rid of a lot of things when DH moved in. I assume you’re not planning on having a shower? I did cave a couple of weeks before and put together a small one because there are some people who want to give physical gifts.  We didn’t advertise it, and most people didn’t even know we had one unless they asked. 

Post # 8
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I don’t think I’m going to have one– mostly b/c they aren’t done here in the Czech Republic. But I was chatting to a US friend and she INSISTED that I MUST have one. I explained that stores here don’t do them and that my guests are traveling long distances and won’t want to bring things with them in their luggage, but she still insisted that people WILL.  I have no idea if she’s right or not. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to register at Target or something for small things that are easily transportable just in case people really do want to bring a gift.

What worries me most is that people might not realize we have to pay duty tax here on packages from outside of Europe. If people send me gifts I may literally not be able to receive them. That would be mortifying. 🙁

Post # 9
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

Previous posters have had some great ideas. I’m in the same boat. We’re already living together and actually got a lot of gifts when we first moved in together. Family is asking for registry info and FI doesn’t want one at all. Gonna show him thread to help het him on track. 

Post # 10
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We are in the same boat, so we placed this saying on our invites…. “Your presence with us this day is the present we hope for”

We haven’t gotten any comments or concerns about gifts. If guests want to give something, maybe it will just be a card.

Post # 11
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

We were in the same boat. We’ve lived together for a few years and had no registry. My family and my fiance’s family were having to field questions from guests about where our registry was and what we wanted. So, we ended up creating a honeyfund. We are paying for the honeymoon itself and then are using the honeyfund for extras like tour tickets, a new camera, dinners at specific restaurants, a spa day, etc.  I know it is a controversial topic but we’ve had many comments from people about how much they like it.

Post # 12
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

DD is getting married in June and her shower was yesterday.  If you are having a shower I  think registering is a must.  The purpose of the shower is physical gifts.  If you aren’t having a shower I don’t think it is such a big deal.  If you are having a shower and don’t register, good luck with those random gifts like ceramic rooster cookie jars and ginormous sunflower platters (friend of mine got one of those at her shower many years ago.  It’s “uniqueness” has stuck with me all these years and hit has never seen the light of day in her home).

You can always register for some nicer sheets or towels.  You will need them eventually.

Post # 13
Member
8909 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

FutureSully99:  we were in the same boat, but we used it as a chance to upgrade all our cheap or thrift store stuff. Now we have awesome pots and pans, gorgeous everyday dishes and silverware, a few cool kitchen gadgets, nice knives, nice sheets and towels, etc. We also registered for fun stuff like grilling tools, camping supplies, board games, etc. 

Sadly your mom is right, many people (especially older ones) do expect a registry. They want to give you a THING that you will use and love, which is a really nice sentiment.

You could do a small registry and a honeymoon registry – many people will go with the money. 

Post # 14
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

same situation. But we may register for things that need “upgrading” such as linens and towels, or something I always wanted like the Kitchenaid mixer.

Post # 15
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Home

Amazon allows you to set a registry so you can register for things from an array of deapartments there. I would agree with PPs. Do you have any items that you want to update? If not, then stick to your guns and tell your mom to let those who ask know that you’ve decided not to create a registry.

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