(Closed) Forget you Emily Post, I’m calling myself Mrs.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I say go by Mrs. if you want to! Keeping your last name doesn’t make you any less married. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Go for it! I see Mrs. as meaning “married” as well, though I’m sure etiquett would fight with me on that. 🙂

And being a Dr doesn’t always change much – socially, my mother is still “Mrs” even though she is very much a “Dr” in her professional life. Lol.

Post # 5
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

If you want to call yourself She-Ra, Princess of Power, I say do!

Post # 6
Member
14503 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@helenberrycrunch: Hey, you know that I am She-Ra, Princess of Power.

@ginnyc: I have a few aunts that kept their last names and they all still go by Mrs.  I totally would use the Mrs if I were in your shoes.

Post # 7
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The only thing is that if you’re name was Mrs. Jane Smith, then people would assume that your husband’s name was Smith. If you corrected them, that could get confusing. Yes, Mrs. indicates married, but there is also the assumption that the last names are going to match. If they don’t, you run the risk of having people change your *husbands* name or having to explain over and over again why you are Mrs. Jane Smith while he is Mr. John Jones. Does that make sense?

Post # 8
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

In the oldest usage; “Miss”, “Mrs” and “Ms” are all abbreviations for “Mistress”, which did not mean “married” but referred to any woman when not in domestic service to someone else — in other words, who was “mistress” of her own time and resources. You can read sixteenth and seventeenth century novels in which unmarried girls were referred to as “Mrs Pamela” or “Mrs Clarissa” — using the young ladies’ Christian name in the same way it would be used with “Miss” a couple of centuries later.

Polite people will call you whatever you call yourself, provided they know what you call yourself. Having visiting cards or At-Home cards printed with your name and address on them (and email and phone; and, if you have them, your regular “at-home” hours) is dreadfully oldfashioned, but terribly useful for communicating things like, oh, your name and address and email and so on. Keep half a dozen in your purse and use them for writing notes on instead of the back of a grocery bill, and people will then have no excuse for using any other form of your name. But without them … how are people supposed to know what to use?

Post # 9
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Actually after I got married a lot of my student’s parents saw me around town and they said “Hi Miss B” and then they said, “Oh, I should say Mrs. B”  (to which I replied to tell them my new name). If more than one person assumed that might be how I changed my status, then I say it is a mainstream idea, so don’t even think twice. 

Post # 11
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m a little confused.  When do people go by Mrs.?  The only occassions I can think of are wedding invitations and escort cards, and maybe holiday cards and such.  I think socially, people call you by your first name, and at work, you would be addressed by first name or Ms. regardless of marital status.  I’ve seen posts like this before, and I’ve always been a bit curious about how this actually comes up.

Post # 12
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m confused .. if you use Mrs. with your current last name … and Mrs. means wife of .. doesn’t that make you wife of your dad?   

Post # 13
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yeah, to me Mrs. means that I’ve married into the family. Mrs. Katelyn Brown indicates I’ve married into the Brown family, even if Brown is my maiden name. I mean that’s the point of a maiden name. Mrs. and your maiden name do not belong together. I mean, not that you can’t do it, but nobody will expect it and it will always confuse people.

Post # 14
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

One of my favorite coworkers goes by Mrs. + her maiden name and she’s in her 50’s so it’s not a revolutionary idea.  When people ask her about it, she usually says, “Bob didn’t take my name when we got married.”

Post # 15
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

I go by my title all the time… but of course I’m a teacher!  I would also tend to use titles for parents of my students… so if you sign a note Mrs. Brown and Mr. Hubby then I would be confused by who you were married to…  I have a friend who does this… so it’s not a big deal but in my community it is considered an oddity… Everyone else here  might be referred to as Mrs. Susan Brown Hubby… because many times the women are old friends and the new married name is not how the old friends think of the wife, but a new friend might only know the person as Mrs Hubby the wife of Mr. Hubby.   

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