Formal wedding invites drama!!!!! T_T

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Is his dad coming to the wedding?

Post # 4
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

eeerika22:  traditionally peoples parents names arent on the invitation to “introduce” anyone- the hosts names are on the invite and that’s all there is to it- not a statement about the family status.

His parents aren’t helping to host the wedding so I don’t get why they’d be on the invite- no one will think it’s because the wedding is “all about you” or  a statement against FIs parents- it’s standard tradition! He shouldn’t take it so personally- no one else will. 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Or if he just can’t see it that way, go with “together with their families” but that’s not as formal/traditional. 

Post # 6
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Hmm…this is tough. Does your mom have to have her name on the invitation? What about “together with their parents”? 

Post # 7
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

MrsBuesleBee:  that’s not entirely true. On our formal invites it’ll say “Mr. And Mrs. ” invite you to celebrate the wedding of their daughter “my name” to “FI name” , son of “Mrs” and “Mr”. (his parents are divorced) 

Post # 9
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

OMGMrsW2B:  I mean you can definitely do it that way too it’s not a faux pas or anything – but in the OPs case where they don’t want to list FIs, it happens to fall in line with traditional so they don’t need to worry about people thinking FI has a deadbeat family or something. 

You do typically name the hosts on an invite, but you don’t need to name all the parents unless you want to.

Post # 10
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

MrsBuesleBee:  oh yeah, I was only responding to the first line about parents not being on the invite. 

I actually wanted “together with their families” but my parents are hosting and my mom is being particular about the wording. But, I’ve seen it with just daughters names. 

And no, nobody is going to be judging the FI’s family. To be honest, they probably won’t even notice the lack of parents names on the invite, or remember it when they’re at the wedding. 

Post # 11
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I feel you…my mom flipped out when I didn’t include the names of parents on our invite. “Together with their parents’ just didn’t fly. She said I was disrespecting her. Fiance’s parents are divorced and both are very much in his life so it was an easy fix to smooth ruffled feathers. Traditionally only the bride’s parents were listed on the invite as they were the ones traditionally hosting and paying. I’d go that route.

Post # 12
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

eeerika22:  At the end of the day, I don’t think any of your guests will be judging your FI or his family. 

Post # 13
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Well that is sticky then- because there are only so many options – both parents, one set, or no sets and no one is happy with anything but their option.

Perhaps you talk to mom privately, explain that this an emotional thing for your FI and you guys did pay for the majority of the wedding- so youd like to keep it the way you have it and will thank them in the program?

or you go to FI and explain it’s tradition for hosts to be named, and no one will thing it’s strange if his family is left off. 

Someones gotta budge- who’s more likely? 

eeerika22:  

Post # 14
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

“Joseph middlename Smith and Erika middlename Jones, together with John and Sally Jones, cordially invite you to the wedding of Joseph and Erika…”

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