- 3 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
This is going to be long so bear with me.
I’ve recently had 2 (former) friends/coworkers contact me on FB trying to catch up. They were “former FB friends” that I deleted during my divorce.
Female 1) She was like a big sister to me. She had fertility problems (I was just beginning my TTC efforts and it’s been 10 years now) and we talked a lot about our difficulties.
She tried IVF twice (both failed) but was able to get PG naturally after each cycle. She quit working to be a SAHM and still came by work to see me.
I moved w/my exH and got FB. She added me and my exH…she just added him b/c he was my spouse. After my divorce, I deleted a lot of our mutual friends. She rarely uses FB but was still “friends” w/him. In fact, I found out my exH put my dog down b/c she tagged me in a post about remembering when we got the dog as a puppy. I told her my exH and I were divorced…which she had apparently heard and I never responded.
Her recent message was something like “I noticed we weren’t friends anymore. I figured it was b/c of your exH (she knows I’m remarried) but I’ve deleted him and want to catch up.”
Female 2) I was like her big sis. She gave me crap when I was divorcing but little did she know that she would be divorcing her new husband b/c he started cheating right before the wedding. He refused to end his affair. Her divorce was finalized less than 6 months after the wedding.
I tried to reach out to her in case she wanted to talk and her replies were sporadic. Last year, I sent her an email for her bday. She responded that she had moved. I asked her if it was for work or a guy. Never heard a word until 9 months later and she told me she was remarried.
Since then, she’s sent me a couple of messages saying she was sorry she was such a douchey friend over the past couple of years. She was actually engaged to another guy before her exH and I was a BM but she called off the relationship ONE month before the wedding. She lost a lot of friends during that process but I was always there for her.
DH thinks these women haven’t really been “good friends” and I shouldn’t feel like I should respond. He has issues w/female 2 b/c he says she sounds like a drama queen which is somewhat true…she’s also mentioned coming to visit overseas w/her DH soon so DH thinks she just wants a place to stay.
I’ve moved a lot and am used to ending friendships. I’ve just had my first failed IVF cycle and female 1 and I were sooo close when it came to that stuff.
Do you think I should respond to both or either of them? I don’t see the harm in it but DH has lost his really good guy friends since moving (they’ve all had kids so I think they are just busy) and he says they were just a “part of that former life.”