(Closed) Found out about my surprise shower :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

it sucks the surprise was ruined, but I would be grateful I was getting a shower and people cared so much to throw one for me!

Post # 4
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think you may be overreacting here. Your MOH is spending her time to plan a party with your family after all. Just because you can’t be surprised any more doesn’t mean the party isn’t happening or that people didn’t spend their time planning for you. Take a breather and reevaluate what’s really important. You said it yourself, you knew it would be happening. She just narrowed the time frame for you but honestly you still don’t know the exact date. So what’s the harm? 

Post # 5
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think you owe your MOH an apology. She already got bitched out by your family, even when she didn’t tell you anything, and now she’s been bitched out for telling you it might be in August. 

Who cares if you know when it is. Everything else will still be a surprise, and hey, as Hikergirl08 said, just be happy people love you enough to give you one!

Post # 6
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with PP’s, you were harsh on your MOH. It seems like it was a mistake, and being chewed out by your cousin was enough don’t ya think? Sure it sucks that you pretty much know, but like PP said, won’t it still be a surprise?

I know the date of my shower, and the time. That’s it. I know my Grandma has been planning it for a year and hides the decorations every time I go over, so to me my shower is very much a “surprise shower”. I’m excited that she’s planning it without any of my help, and WANTS to. 

Sorry if I’m coming off as rude, but c’mon, lighten up. If that’s the most you know then who cares

Post # 7
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

You knew you were getting a shower, so nothing has been ruined except the date.. and really wouldn’t you rather know the date at least so you can wear something cute and have a gift ready for the hostess? 😉

Post # 8
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I also think you owe your MOH a major apology. What she said really was NOT that bad at all. Plus, it seems like you DID know you were having a bridal shower, so what’s the big deal about knowing that it’s in august?

Post # 10
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Well, if you actually show your disappointment that would make it much more worse than your MOH accidentally spilling the beans. 

Post # 11
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You were the one who should have been quiet.  Your MOH made an innocent remark and you ran with it. 

You owe your MOH an apology.  The previous posters are right. 

Post # 12
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Sorry, I think you are overreacting, and I do agree, you owe her an apology. These things don’t come out of the blue expensewise, and things slip. You have to give your bridal party room to make mistakes, just as you will make mistakes. Just lighten up and enjoy this time, because nothing can be again repeated!

Post # 13
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I also agree with the pps. 

It souds like you were originally a little miffed that your MOH wasn’t the one planning the party.  Do you know what went on there?  Why she didn’t plan it?  (The shower was supposed to be a surprise, right?)  I’m just thinking if you knew your aunts were planning a surprise shower, because they’ve done it for your cousins, why would your MOH plan one too?  Maybe she offered and they turned her down.  Maybe she felt out of place and backed down. 

And I kind of feel bad for her.  She didn’t know the party was a surprise. Your family apparently, didn’t make that known to her.  Yet felt they could chew her out for it.  If they were such experienced party planners, and that was such an important detail, wouldn’t they have made sure she knew?  So then upset for being yelled at by ppl she probably doesn’t really know, she turns to you.  And tells you about the the “other invitation”.  Maybe she shouldn’t have…  But 1) if she wasn’t doing any of the planning, your cousin probably should have kept her mouth shut and not told your MOH about the invitations. 2) your MOH might have thought that at this point you would have naturally been suspicious of the “other invitation”, (and I think you probably would have) 3) It probably would have been wiser for the surprise party planners to have just changed their game plan at that point, and not send you a false invitation.  It really wouldn’t have been hard to simply have a friend or family member just ask you if you wanted to go shopping or to lunch or something, as a way to lure you to the location.

So it sounds to me like the ppl planning the party made some mistakes and blew it out of proportion more so than MOH.

Post # 14
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I still don’t see how the surprise is ruined, and I still think you are overreacting.

Post # 15
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I blew a surprise bridal shower for the bride the night before the shower. I was also one of the bridesmaids. The MOH and mom had planned it to be a surprise and DID NOT TELL ME. So whose fault is that? You should lighten up on your MOH – she probably feels horrible and attacked, and she’s your MOH afterall, so isn’t she a good friend of yours?

Post # 16
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yup, sorry – going to agree with pp.  You definitely owe your MOH an apology.  I feel really bad for her!!  I do not see how your surprise is ruined at all?  You already knew it was happening, so it wasn’t a total surprise?

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