Post # 1
Hope it’s alright that I post this here. I wasn’t sure where else to ask for some advice on this topic.
I accidentally found out that my boyfriend is planning on proposing. I feel awful. As he was showing me a picture of something on his phone his friend texted him (it popped up on the bar up top of the phone) and said “When are you going to ask (my name) the big question?” I instantly wished I could unsee it! We have talked about it of course but it became so much more real after seeing that.
I guess I’m just bummed out. I feel bad because I didn’t want to know it was coming AT ALL. I wanted it to be a total surprise. I still don’t know what he has planned or when he’s going to do it so there’s still that element of surprise. However, I now know for sure that he has a ring and it’s just a matter of time. Before I had no idea he had picked a ring out or had even bought one. These past few days I’ve just felt sick about it.
Any advice on how to deal with this? He doesn’t know I know and I don’t want to ruin it for him. Am I being overly dramatic about the situation? Or am I justified in feeling bummed? All opinions are welcome. Sometimes I need to be put in my place 🙂
Post # 2
I think you’re being overly dramatic. If you’ve talked about it before then it can’t be a toooootal surprise. And the situation just seems like something that couldn’t have been avoided – you weren’t snooping or anything! It’s okay to be a little bummed but I don’t think you should be feeling sick about it. You should be excited!
Post # 3
Just try to relax about it. You don’t know when or how he is going to ask, you don’t know what the ring looks like, or technically, if he even has a ring yet. There is more than enough that you don’t know to keep the important parts of the proposal a surprise for you. As you said, the two of you have talked about it, so it’s not completely out of the blue.
Post # 4
First off welcome to the Hive! :] I understand why you would be alittle bummed but like you said you are not sure of the when and how, so it is still going to be a big surprise :] I would just keep busy with hobbies, to get my mind of off it.
Post # 5
I think when it comes to important events such as proposals, we have it in our minds that the event has to be PERFECT and if it’s not perfect, then it’s disappointing. The little problems that cropped up while FI was planning the proposal are his favorite parts of the story–it makes it funnier to tell and emphasizes how hard he worked to make it romantic! 🙂
You haven’t ruined anything by seeing the text. For all you know, he may not have even purchased the ring yet and one of his buddies is just joking (my FI’s friends and family have been doing that since BEFORE we started dating!) so don’t assume anything. Still, don’t say anything to him about it or he might be upset that he has to start over or change his plans. You can’t un-see the text, but you can change the way you feel about it happening!
Post # 6
TaraMay_: Thanks for being a voice of reason. I haven’t been able to tell ANYONE this and I needed someone to bring me back to reality. LOL. I think you’re totally right. We’ve talked about it plenty of times so it wouldn’t be 100% unexpected anways. I AM excited and I need to focus more on that feeling than anything else.
emstar168: You’re 100% right about that. It’s easy to jump to conclusions when you see something like that and let your mind start racing. There are still plenty of surprises to come, I’m sure!
LoveBlossom14: Thank you! I’ve secretly followed the boards for almost a year now. Finally made the leap and joined. I think keeping my mind on other things will definitely help. Maybe it will be sometime and by the time he does I won’t be thinking about it nearly as much, even at all!
bluebird17: Thank you so much. Your post has made me feel so much better. You are so right! I never even thought that maybe he doesn’t even have one! Just a friend giving him some crap. I love your perspective on the situation.