Post # 1
Hye everyone- I love this website and it’s come up on MANY of my searches in the last several weeks! So i decided to join. 🙂
So I’ll do my best to give the deets of my predicament in as short a story as possible.
My SO and I have known eachother for less than a year (dec 27th is when we met), and we were officially in a relationship as of 1/10. We kinda just clicked right off the bat and out relationship has been a whirlwind. My mom always kept nudging us at first saying “a candle that burns twice as fast only lasts half as long”… and was generally unapproving of how quickly everything had progressed … We said I love you a month into the relationship and had moved in together by late April. We got a dog in July, and he bought a house for us Last month. (Which he keeps saying to everyone “WE bought a house”) Now, i KNOW a lot of people would disagree with our timeline and say we’re crazy but we really are perfect together even though we are not perfect people and have had our fair share of arguments, etc…. But that’s not what i’m here for! 🙂 I accidentally found out he plans to propose on Xmas!!!
We use one computer and one night while I was doing research for HW i stumpled upon a history of engagement ring websites…. back in OCTOBER! Naturally being the impatient and nosey thing I am….I kept digging after that (sparingly), and his behavior in the last 2-3 weeks has confirmed he will be proposing soon….
He keeps making good comments on weddings and proposals, he mysteriously starting measuring all my fingers “amazed at how small they are” (haha poor cover!) and keeps saying how amazing my Xmas gift is… He brags that he’s told everyone and that the girls especially keep squeeling how lucky I am. SO CLEARLY, his xmas present is a proposal…
I’m so thrilled/excited but sad I ruined it for myself at the same time. Although he isn’t particularly good at surprises, and I am sure all his behaviors would have given it away anyways, the fact i found out several months ago just solidifies everything and I am kinda bummed it won’t be a surprise for me, even though he assumes it will. ON a secondary note, all the rings he WAS looking at…. are so NOT my style! 🙁 There’s one in particular that appeared multiple times so I think that is what he went with… Ugh – I love him to death and I couldn’t be happier…. but i really wish he would’ve asked me what I wanted instead of guessing…. I never wear jewlery so I can’t blame him for missing the mark….but I’m afraid to break his heart if I tell him I hate the ring….
My face gives my emotions away and it’s hard for me to fake much of anything …
So it boils down to 2 questions:
1- How do i act surprised??? I don’t want to disappoint him by making it obvious I’ve known all along.
2- Do I say anything about the fact I dislike the style of ring if he did in fact go with something i personally find gaudy and hidious? It seems superficial and immature to me, but the fact is if I’m going to wear it forever I would like to LOVE the ring as opposed to …tolerate it?
What to do what to do!?
THanks everyone and sorry for the long post.
Post # 3
@EsC87: …don’t over think this, you won’t have to “act” anything, because no matter how many times you’ve imagined it, the moment will still blow you away….and you don’t know what you’ve got, unti you’ve got it…so knock it off…put THIS out of your mind, wrap some gifts, bake some cookies and watch Christmas Vacation, its going to be great!
Post # 4
I knew my proposal was coming. I found the ring box in his pocket that morning (I was looking for Chapstick) but didn’t open it – and I’m SO glad I didn’t see the ring beforehand. So yes, I knew it was happening, but when it actually did, it blew me away. It wasn’t how/when/where I expected it to be. Both the moment and the ring were perfect and your proposal will be too. You won’t have to act surprised, because you will be. Let it go! And don’t snoop or anything like that from here on out (I know you weren’t snooping).
Post # 5
@Nona99: Haha Thanks Nona- You’vve hit the nail on the head, I totally overanalyze EVERYTHING. I have a feeling I’m going to be a type A planner when the time comes.
I just feel as if i’ve ruined it and want to at least give SO the illusion that it was all a perfectly planned surprise as I imagine he wants ha
Post # 6
@nber0815: Well it’s good to know that even with previously knowledge it can still be surprising… I guess there is stillsome unknowns like what he will say, or if he will do it in front of family or not etc….i didn’t think of that! Thank you 🙂
Post # 7
@EsC87: I want to see this hideous gaudy ring you think he picked out!
It seems like you guys have a good relationship, and hopefully there is a lot of honesty there. I’m sure you’ll be thrilled by the proposal, but if you really don’t like the ring, and he asks if you do, let him know it isnt what you would have picked out and its not your taste. See where it goes from there. Hopefully he will be open to getting you exactly what you want!
Post # 8
@EsC87: You never know, you might like the ring on your finger, it might suit you!!
Post # 9
@EsC87: i knew the exact date of my proposal, just didn’t know the how.
it was the most amazing proposal. i wasn’t surprised per say but i was still nervous and excited.
Post # 10
I also knew when my proposal was coming, but in the moment, when its happening, it will still put you in a bit of shock and you won’t have to fake anything.
Just stop thinking about it, relax, and let it happen
Post # 11
@jessicadarling: hahah i didn’t save the picture of the ring, and I’ve made my darn best attempt to keep my nose out of it for fear he will find out that i know too much already…. But essentially it’s a vintage style ring with what looks to me 1 round stone in the middle and 2 pear type smaller sones flanking it and a silver plain band…Not certain on carats and such. I’m not saying it it’s pretty… and I definitely think it set him back at least 2500….
But what I had in mind was a solitaire princess cut with a halo and a very thin micropaved band… Particularly because he always calls me princess which i think would make it more meaningful, and more so that I am VERY SIMPLE when it comes to jewlery… PLus halos alwys make the ring look bigger even if it only a half a carat stone!
IDK it’s just the complete opposite of what i always dreamed of….but i do feel petty and unappreciative. It’s just kinda betweena rocka nd ahard palce. No pun intended 😛
Post # 12
@MrsJX3: that’s true, maybe once it’s on I’ll fancy it!? haha which i honestly hope so because i would hate to have to go through the issue of suggesting i dislike it. I gather that wouldn’t be a very good feeling for him
Post # 13
thank you for your sentiments- it puts me at easy to know he can still surprise me albeit in a different way :)!