Found out we're having a baby in April. STRESSED! Unprepared.Help.

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

No tips, because I realized today that I have no idea how to take care of a baby, but CONGRATS.  This is so incredibly exciting for you.

Post # 4
Member
8917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@LuluInLove:  WOWEEEE congrats!! I’m sure it’s super overwhelming right now, but as soon as you have that sweet baby in your arms (*knock on wood*), you’ll be so so happy it turned out this way. Just cram all your research into these 2 months and I’m sure you’ll be fine. No kids myself so I can’t help on specifics. 

And yeah, from the title I was pretty sure you were 7 months preggo without knowing it 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@LuluInLove:  First, take some deep breaths and try to calm down. I’m not a mom, but I can tell you are incredibly stressed and nervous – this is normal. All expectant parents go through this at some point, which is why it takes 9 months to make a baby; it gives the parents time to adjust to the idea.

You guys don’t have that time though. My best suggestions would be to reach out to other couples who have adopted and see what advice they can give you. They can help put all your worries and fears at ease.

Reach out to other new biological moms as well. They can help you learn what happens at the Hospital and what products are a good idea to have ready.

I don’t know what the laws are in your state, but do your best to think of yourselves as babysitting until the waiting period for the birth parents to change their minds has passed. I know its impossible to do, but its important that the birth parents have that chance to change their minds.

For clothes, make sure you buy a few starter items in a variety of sizes so that baby has something to grow into (things like basic onesies). Buy some Pedialite as well – my mom gave some to my cousin when she had her first kid in case her son had digestive issues (most kids do at some point). Here’s a link to WebMD for more items you guys may need to purchase. 

Most importantly, remember that you guys can do this! It’s incredibly scary right now and I know you guys may be doubting yourselves – but you guys have a lot of love to offer this little baby and that is the most important thing. Cuddle your little one, talk to him, play with him, and just love him as best you can. Everyone will adjust with some time.

Congratulations in advance!

Post # 6
Member
3128 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I used Lucieslist.com to make a lot of my decsions about what I needed to have. There is also a bargain book that a lot of April moms recommended… maybe one of them will chime in here with the title.

Do you know if it is a boy or girl? The only after birth decision I can see you having to make is whether or not to circumcise. Vaccines are a given for me but may not be for you. Other than that, it comes down to picking bottles, formula, cloth or disposable diapers, and finding a daycare if you will be working. You will need a carseat (properly installed) to leave the hospital, and find a place for the baby to sleep.

I would focus on the things you NEED and then start researching the things you WANT (you need food, diapers, somewhere to sleep, and a carseat; you want rockers, bouncers, play yards and a stroller).

Congratulations, fellow April mama! I am so happy for you. Let me know if you have any specific questions I can try to answer. I am a FTM but I have had 8 months to adjust to the news 🙂 And I plan to adopt in the future so I would love to pick your brain a bit about the process and the cost!

Post # 7
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Congratulations!  How exciting!  I’m a member of the April 2014 thread and am not as prepared as some of the bees there.  I’ve been doing research though and it can get overwhelming.  I recommend the website Lucy’s list.  It really simplifies everything.  I also bought the book Baby Bargains and it rates all the top brands of items you will need to purchase.  I hear a big part of everything is trial and error.  One baby may like swings while another doesn’t.  There’s only so much you can do.  Keep us updated!

Post # 8
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

Okay, first BREATHE. You are getting the baby that you have always wanted, and you didn’t have to wait a year, so CONGRATS! Take time to think of how amazing this is because had it not happened in a year you could be waiting many years. You have 6 weeks to prepare, and YOU CAN DO IT! Sit down with your DH and make a list of priorities. What do you need to do first to prepare your home for a baby? The baby doesn’t need a gorgeous nursery the first week it comes home, but it does need somewhere to sleep, so work on the more important things first. 

Start by getting a crib, stocking up on the essentials (clothing, diapers, wipes, receiving blankets and burp cloths, bottles, formula, carseat, etc.) Don’t worry about swings or anything like that right now. Consider asking around to your group of friends and family if anyone has anything they can donate or let you borrow since this is coming so quickly. People are going to be so happy for you that they will want to help you out! Borrow some of the bigger purchases (like a swing) to see if you will really need one.

Post # 9
Member
689 posts
Busy bee

No flat heads from swings!!!!

 

Newborns don’t need much, so don’t stress about having every little thing before the baby comes. Just be ready to give it lots of love 🙂 You’ll do great.

Post # 10
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

First of all, take a deep breath and congrats on the baby! Since you read through the April thread then you know that I wasn’t prepared for my babies at all since I gave birth at 28 weeks. The only thing we have is two cribs (no matteresses) and two onesies. In fact, thats all we still have and I’m not stressing…well a little. But anyway, just think of the BASICs that you need. A place for baby to sleep, some clothes, and bottles and formula. Thats it. The rest of the stuff is fluff. I also would grab the book Baby Bargains, it has some great advice of what is really needed. Good luck!!

 

…you should join our board! And I should also point out that some of those bees are SUPER prepared and on top of things, but also some of us aren’t. It will all even out and work out in the end.

Post # 11
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Congratulations fellow April mama! My advice is to buy the baby bargains book. It really helped me break down what we needed and what the best deals were without giving up quality. I would recommend getting the following first and then focusing on the rest later:

Car seat

pack n’ play or bassinet for baby to sleep in at first (you don’t need a crib right away)

diapers (about 100 newborn and 300 size 1 to start) as well as wipes and other changing supplies you don’t need a changing table

clothes size newborn and 0-3 months

baby bath or something to put in the sink

Blankets and sheets

Feeding supplies

After you get those essentials, then you can focus on other things you might want like swings  and play mats and stuff like that. I also wouldn’t put together a nursery quite yet as the birthmother could still change her mind. Plus, the baby would probably sleep close to you at least the first six weeks. Good luck with everything and make sure you join us in the April mama’s thread!

Post # 12
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Congrats!!!! How exciting.  I’m not a Mom but my Aunt & Uncle sound like you lol.  They actually were on two adiption lists and both hit with in 2 days of each other.  They had just brought one baby home and got a call for the other baby, so they went and picked him up.  2 weeks later my Aunt found out she was preg. (they had been told that after 10 miscarriages she would never carry to term).  She finally carried a baby to term.  So she had three kids under a year.  You can do this.  Read the baby bargains book.  Just get the basics ready.  My aunt said she hasn’t slept in over 20 years (they actually went on to have 4 natural children and the 2 bonus babies) so get some sleep if you can  The people on the Mom boards are really nice I’m sure they will be more than willing to help anyway they can.  Hang in there and OH wow just crazy and great and enjoy it!!

Post # 13
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I have no suggestions since I am not a mom but I followed your other thread.  You are one of the most amazing people I *know* just by the things I’ve read from you. You will be an amazing mom – babies dont NEED much except food, clothing, a carseat and love :-)… all the rest are perks to make both your life and theirs easier. You will never know everything thay could go wrong nor do I think you should try because you will go crazy! Do you have any friends that potentially have items from their babies that they could give you? Or if you attend a church maybe they could ask for items to be donated on your behalf. Breathe…. and just get ised to the feeling because for the rest of your life you will have a son to worry about im sure every mom can attest that the fear of doing whats best doesnt really go away.

Post # 14
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ps… maybe your mom will throw you a baby shower 🙂 🙂 I know you said you hadnt been extremely open publicly because it normally takes awhile but I’m sure once you make the announcement you will have tons of support!

Post # 15
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Get the Baby Bargains book.  It is so helpful in identifying the bells and whistles from the actual necessary features.  You may not even need a crib yet.  DD didn’t sleep in her crib for 4 months.   She slept in the “newborn napper.”  I think it’s Fisher Price.  It was $50 and it’s now my go-to baby shower gift.  She LOVED that thing and it is super portable so you can take it all over your house or out to visit folks.

 

get a few bottles, but not a ton.  Your baby may prefer one brand over another.  DD loved Dr Brown bottles and I would recommend those.  Get some Halo swaddlers – I stink at swaddling and I could still do those. As others have said, get some onesies too and maybe even some small hats (DD needed them for a bit to keep her temperature up).  The Baby Bargains book will walk you through getting a car seat, etc.  And get some desitin for diaper rash.  I really think you’ll be able to handle everything else as it comes.

But, most of all, congratulations!!! I know it’s stressful, but think of how much stress you’re relieving for the birth mother.   Here she is, just weeks from delivering, and now she knows she’s found a home for her baby.  That has to make the latter part of her pregnancy so much easier.  And you’re going to be a mom!!!!! It is the best role I’ve ever had.  I’m so glad that you’re going to join the club sooner than you planned. , 

 

 

Post # 16
Member
898 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@LuluInLove:  As a fellow April first time mom, first I’d love to say CONGRATS!!! I was pretty much in the same boat as you as far as feeling overwhelmed, it seems like babies need so many things. I have done a TON of research on parenting techniques, baby items, etc etc and I have what I believe to be a pretty good idea of what I do and don’t want/need. If you would like, I could go through all of what I thought were necessities, my plans for baby’s first year in the big things, etc.. I’m always willing to help a momma in need!

I’d say your most important things right now as far as items are:

Somewhere for baby to sleep, crib if in own room, cosleeper (what we chose), bassinet etc

Something for baby to potty in, we chose cloth diapers, but any diaper is a good diaper

Something for baby to be in the car in safely, either an infant car seat or like we chose, a convertible car seat.

Enough clothes that you won’t be doing laundry 3x a day. Babies can go through several onesies a day. Most important are short and long sleeve onesies, pants, socks, and pajamas, preferably the zip up kind. This is a list I’ve gotten from lots of mommies. Babies don’t need fancy outfits, just look for comfort and ease of changes.

Bottles and any other needed feeding items such as bibs and burp cloths.

And then I think some kind of carrier like you mentioned Ergo, so that you can have your hands free to eat while home alone with baby.

 

Hope this helps and feel free to pm me if you want to know more or whatnot!

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