found pictures on my BF's phone

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know some will say “you shouldn’t have snooped” but how I look at it is, better to find out now then 5 years from now, married with kids. Right? You have to choose what you will do next. Sitting down and having a long stern talk with him is the first thing you need to do. Then make the decision of staying or leaving.

Post # 4
Member
2124 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That is not okay. I would talk to him about it and go from there. 

Post # 5
Member
9220 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@sortawaitingbee:  Do you have any idea who the woman is?  I hope I don’t get flamed for this, and it may not be the best advice, but I would probably call or text her if you get the chance and ask her some questions.  This is NOT cool on his part, really, to me that’s cheating.  I would be livid.

Yikes, re-read that it’s more than one woman.  OMG.

Post # 6
Member
9220 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

My issue with her trying to talk with him first is he will lie.  Honestly, I would talk to either one or both of these women first, see what’s up from their points of view, and then confront him. 

Post # 7
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

So sorry you’re dealing with this!

Time to dump and run!

Post # 8
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yikes. That’s so not cool and not acceptable at any length. (Once you’ve made the comittment to be exclusive)!

You snooped cause you had a feeling, and your feeling is valid. It’s prolly worse on his computer. If you love him and you want to make this work, talk to him and see how his reaction plays out.  Will he fess up? Come clean and all that jazz? Or will he turn the tables, get pissed at you for snooping and make it all your fault? 

I feel for ya! Best of luck, and remember that you’re amazing and there’s plenty of guys out there who will love you without the need to cheat.

Post # 9
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Sunfire:  OOOHHH! Good point! He propbably will lie…or deny until the cows [insert milk reference here] come home….

Post # 10
Member
1520 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

red flag, red flag, red flag!!!!  you def have to talk to him….

Post # 11
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Ew. His response to the “Got Milk” picture makes me say to run. Fast.

Post # 12
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

Yeah I’d be outraged.

I don’t snoop, but I’ve scrolled through FI’s photos at times and only surprise pictures I’ve seen on his phone have been things like a cute photo of the pets he forgot to show me, or photos of whiteboards at work (apparently he finds looking at a blurry phone photo of a whiteboard easier than taking notes).

I never look at his texts but if I did see one in which he was all like “mama told me to drink more milk” to some girl, I’d probably dump a pitcher of it over his head as an introduction to my telling him about his newfound singledom.

Post # 13
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@sortawaitingbee:  Recently texted pics or old pics?  Guys are notorious for keeping nudie pix long after they were sent.  I found some on my FI’s phone and had to check the dates before getting upset.

If they’re recent then it’s a good idea to tell him you snooped and found the pics so you want to know what’s going on.  If he’s having a texting relationship with these women, you need to decide whether you trust him enough to end them or it’s something you can’t forgive and will leave him as a result.

Post # 14
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Like, it’s one thing to receive provocative texts from someone who is not your SO (for the record, not cool) but his response is just sleazy. I’d run,  he’s sexting someone and mentioned his mother, I would never be able to look at him the same again.

Post # 15
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@BruinBeeMPH:  I know right?!! So gross.+1 on Run!

Post # 16
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@joya_aspera:  LMAO! I get such a great visual of the milk dumping.

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