Post # 1
I’m in need of your advice, tips, whatever you can think of. I will be moving in with FI in October and I’m freaking the crap out. I have never lived with a man before and although FI and I have known each other for nearly 2 decades we’ve been dating 7 years, I’m still freaking out. We know so much about each other. We know and love each other’s families (which was vital for me) we think the same on values & we have the same morals and we openly discuss finances.
How can I make things go seamlessly for us when we move in together? For the bees that lived together before marriage, was it easy to adjust to living together or was it stressful? FI and I rarely argue, but I’m worried that we’ll start fighting when we move in together.
Please help me out as I am completely freaking out and thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong.
Post # 2
just take baby steps in adjusting to each others habits and routines, and even things like where to store toilet paper or how to fold towels. its an adventure.
Post # 3
Stop stressing. It won’t be perfect. we moved in together less than a year into our relationship and now we’re getting married in November! It made us closer for sure! It’s funny how you’re hanits change and how your vision of your partner changes for the better. He walked in on me nairing my stache once lmao that’s probably the worst of it!
Post # 4
Yes, stop stressing! Why would you all of a sudden start fighting once you move in? Why would everything all of a sudden change? It most likely won’t! Things probably won’t go SEAMLESSLY (e.g. you may want different things in the house, different decor, etc etC), but one hiccup isn’t going to be disaterous.
When I moved in with my fiance (when he was my boyfriend) honeslty it was just fun! Yes, it takes some getting used to just being around someone else and someone else’s habits/schedules, but I think if you look at it as an adventure rather than a burden or a stressful event it will go way more smoothly!
Post # 5
We dated four years before moving in together. It wasn’t really that hard or different or difficult. We never ran into issues on how we store toilet paper or fold towels because we’d been together (though not living together) for years prior to moving in so we already knew how the other did stuff. We also didn’t find our habits surprising and there were no real changes in our daily lives or routine. It was very seamless for us.
Post # 6
TunaCat29: Living with a man is easy (well except your bedroom will forever smell like sweaty man and if he’s a hairy man he will moult) i love coming home to my FI there is nothing i like more than cuddling on the settee watching movies, we both have seperate things going on too so we never get under each others feet.
In the entire 2 years we have lived together we have had 1 major argument, The only thing that is a constant battle in our house is household chores but i can imagine that is a constant argument when any couple live together, I couldn’t be without him though
Post # 7
I love all the folding towel comments! We have this issue! He just can’t fold a damn towel to save his life!
Post # 8
You both need to be flexible when you learn about each others unsavory behaviors.
My FI and I had a pretty seamless adjustment but, he was certainly not impressed by how messy I am! We moved in together very quickly in our relationship (I think it was a year, maybe less) and into 650 sq ft no less.. It went fine.. Better than fine actually!
Instead of thinking about everything that could go wrong, think about all the things that will go right.. You get to come home to him every night, wake up together, and most importantly build a home together.
Post # 9
TunaCat29: stop stressing! I assume you already sleepover at his place (or vice versa) quite a bit? If so then it’s really not that huge of a change. Dh and I dated for 3-4 yrs before we moved in together, we also never fought, and we are nearly a decade in now and still never fought. We did go over our stress points re chores (I will literally cut someone if they leave dishes in my sink and not the dishwasher) before or shortly after the move but generally you already know what each other likes/hates and should already be respectful and trying to make the other happy after that long. I agree with the PP that said prepare for your bedroom to forever smell like sweaty man- took me forever & soo much cleaning to figure that out and just accept it…
Post # 10
I think you should be OK, just have patience! We actually really struggled when we moved in together but we had only been dating for a year, a lot of that was just casually. Are you getting a new place together or are you moving into his current place or vice versa? I ask because I think the majority of our struggles stemmed from him moving into “my” space. It was hard knowing that if I had something somewhere it might be in a different place later because he moved it. I also struggled with just giving up my independence in general, but I think that was more due to the length of the relationship, not just the act of moving in. Again, you will probably be fine but be patient if there are a few more little “spats” as you get used to sharing space with another person. It doesn’t mean anything about the longevity or strength of your relationship, its just normal adjustment. Congrats and best of luck!
Post # 11
What worked for my husband and I was we did our best to not make that big of a deal about it. Someone asked him once about the move in transition, and he just said, “Well, once day, she just stopped going home.”
That said, make sure you talk about things, especially if they are annoying you so you don’t explode, but wait until you’re calm. You’re going to get on each others nerves about something. How you hadnle that is what’s important.
Post # 12
andixlyn: I am very pro-adventure, so hearing you refer to it as an adventure makes me excited.
christin5135: Cammy99: I tend to stress over big things like this which is why I am an extreme planner. I’ve heard a few people say that they fought a lot, which is why I’m worried about that being us.
librarygirl85: That definitely sounds like us. We’ve been together so long that I do know how he does things. But being there 24/7 feel like a total different thing. So I think we could do this seamlessly, but I don’t know if that’s realistic.
nearly-mrs-R: I love cuddling with my man. I’m looking forward to doing that every night. I absolutely don’t want to be without him.
christin5135: Definitely sounds like my guy.
KC-2722: I’m the neat freak in the relationship so I already know his general slob-ness is going to drive me nuts at first. I’m so looking forward to getting to wake up next to him every morning. I actually work at home and so I’ll definitely look forward to seeing him when he gets home.
Post # 13
karatechick27: Reminding myself to calm down before blowing at him up is really important as I have a hot temper. So I need to focus on remembering that.
Post # 14
I agree, don’t stress and have patience with each other! The most difficult thing we found was learning how to argue differently (we don’t argue much), but we no longer had our own places to go for cooling down, however within six to nine months it all smoothed out and not only couldn’t we be happier five years later, but I think living together definitely made us stronger and closer as a couple! Best of luck, it will be great!
Post # 15
TunaCat29: hello there!
SO and I have been living together just over 3 months so I suppose you could say we are still in the adjustment period, but so far – it’s been great!
There have been a couple little tiffs that never turned into an argument, but you could tell one of us was getting irritable. It is great to just say “OK well i dont want to fight, lets take a chill pill” i go in the room and play on my phone or he watches TV and we come back with clear heads (usually one of us is just being bratty LOL) so no big blow outs or anything yet.
A few of these occassions was me getting frustrated because he was taking forever to pick out some home item. (just grab a toaster – we have been shopping for hours!) I had to remind myself this is a fun experience! We are building our life and home together and it was something i was looking forward to for so long. Moving was of course, stressful. Just remember to keep a cool head and remind yourself to enjoy it!