Post # 1
freaking out a little bit…
Just found out by Facebook message that my cousin’s Fiancée booked her date the same day as me…August 4th 2012. We were engaged a month and a half before them..and pretty much picked out our day the day after we were engaged. We also have a few things booked already. I know it
s a long time away..but the date is pretty important to me. I thought. no biggie..she probably hasnt booked anything, but when I checked out her Facebook page it says she already has down payments on a few different vendors. I
m upset because the date we picked was for sentimental reasons... the number is special to us because it coincides with our dating anniversary. It is also two days away from my parents wedding anniversary. I sent her a msg informing her that we both have the same dates..and the only reason I know this is because I stumbled upon one of her messages to another cousin of mine. I told her by no means am I asking her to change her date.. I just wanted to let her know.
it does upset me though, because we had the date first..and that side of the family is huuuuge. It is also a seven hour drive…so there
s no way family members would be able to go to both weddings. Theyd probably end of picking their wedding to go to because it`s closer and more convenient..anyways.. I just have no one else to talk to right now because it’s so late here….and FI is out with some friends.
Post # 3
Oh my gosh! Thats crazy. What are the odds of that happening? I would try and talk to her and let her know that you both cant have the same wedding day, being cousins and all. Its not fair to your family to have to pick which wedding they want to go to.
Im sorry you are going through this, I wish I could offer more advice
Post # 4
That stinks. I guess people can’t say “you only get one dayyyy” to this one, huh? Has she responded to your message – and do you think she’ll decide to change hers? If not, what are YOU going to do? That is such an awkard situation. Did she not know that you already had that date (i.e. were you and your FI not very vocal about it?) Sorry for all the questions…. Just things I’d think about. 🙂
Post # 5
t super vocal about it since it was so far away..but already booked the church and photographer. She hasnt responded to my msg yet..and I
m sitting here alone at home in this panicked state haha! Someone asked me about my date on facebook awhile ago, and I posted it..but its very possible that she didn
t see it. I feel awful..dont want her to have to change her day..but this day is just so important to me. I don`t want to have to change it.
Post # 6
That is upsetting but you know what? This is good because you’re finding out now and not 6 months from now. You and your cousin can both have beautiful days. I think that it’d be exciting to got to a morning ceremony and a breakfast or brunch reception – hang out in the city and then later in the evening go to a ceremony and dinner reception but that’s just me. You and your cousin could get together and decide that one of you can have a breakfast or brunch reception and then the other can have a dinner reception. Then, you guys could arrange activities for your guests to do in the meantime esp. if there’s a city with a downtown nearby. Guests could go to musuems, botanic gardens, tours and etc. I know you’re freaking out but if you and your cousin are both willing to compromise then both of you could have your own weddings (along with your own style and budget) on one beautiful day.
Post # 7
@Darling23: we live 7 hours apart….wouldn`t be able to happen on the same day.
Post # 8
I think you did all that you can do. Did she know about your wedding?
By letting her know that you have the same date she can decide if she wants to compete with you for guests or not. I would be upset too, sorry you have to go through this.
Post # 9
That’s crazy they picked the same day. I’m guessing you are not that close with this cousin? It stinks people will have to choose, but they will know that you chose your date first and it’s the cousin that should switch imo.
Post # 10
Not that this is any help at all…but I love August 4th as a date!
(It’s my birthday) 😉
Post # 11
Logistically – how many people will actually have to choose? Just wondering how big of a deal it will be guest-wise.
Also, I think you should just breathe and wait for her to respond. By all means, you had the date “first” and it’s got a sentimental value to you. She can either be a considerate cousin and pick another day or she can let the drama ensue. Sorry you have to deal with this though. :/
Post # 12
She’s not actually my cousin…it
s my cousin's FI..so yes its still my cousin’s wedding..but I
m not sure if he had much say in the date or planning thus far. Not super super close with him, but I am close with his sisters and the rest of my extended family. It would be a pretty big deal because we have a huge family, and many would have to choose to either stay there or make the seven hour drive for my wedding. My father has 5 brothers and sisters who each have on average 4 children..and they have children... so we're looking at a lot of people! They make up a good chunk of our guest list. I know that I should wait for her msg before panicking, but Im just not a very patient person haha.
Post # 13
Well, this far out, wouldn’t it be possible for you to change your date? I know you said it had significance to you, but your wedding date will also have significance… because it’s your wedding day.
I’ll bet you can find another day that your church & photographer are available, and then there isn’t a problem.
I guess ultimately you need to decide… what’s more important to you? A particular date, or having all of your family celebrate with you?
Still sucky though.
Post # 14
oh boy, that’s terrible! i hope your cousin and FI decide to change their date, keep us updated! until you hear back, there is really nothing you can do.
one piece of advice is to not give in right away. they may be willing to change, but may test you and see if you offer to change yours first. even if you are willing, i would say don;t tell them this immediately and emphasize how important it is to you!
Post # 15
Your cousin is a guy… unless your super close with him chances are he forgot your date or never told his FI. (I am not trying to bash men but my fiance forget’s dates a month away so I can only image a date over a year away). Don’t panic or start changing things yet. See what she says and go from there. I am sure there can be some compromise for the sake of the family.
Post # 16
I’m so sorry this is happening! What an awful situation 🙁 I don’t have much advice other than to wait and see her response. Please keep us updated!