(Closed) Freaking out about ending the LDR

posted 8 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

First of all, biiiiiggggg (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))). Leaving a place you love is never easy. I met FI 12 days before leaving for Italy for 3 months. We had an amazing time during those 12 days and I thought my heart would break when I left. I made incredible friends in Italy who I still miss to this very day, and again, when I left, I was a freaking mess. Like uncontrollable sobbing mess, and a lot of my friends were the same. I agree, I was (and still am) so sad to leave them behind, knowing that I likely wouldn’t see them again. It’s an awful feeling when those people have become your family.

Here comes the but. But I got home to Toronto, reunited with FI (then BF), and just let things fall back into place. I let him become my family and my every day companion. Absolutely it’s hard and you’ll miss your friends a lot, but you’ll be able to stay in touch via Skype, FB, email, etc. Plus you’ll always have some place to stay if you go back to visit! When you get home, you’ll need to adjust, but just take it one day at a time. I’m sure it’ll be fine! It’s totally natural to be worried about how you and your BF will do once you’re reunited, I can’t tell you how much time I spent thinking about it. Just focus on enjoying the next two weeks, soak in all of it, then worry about being home when you get there okay?

Post # 4
Member
683 posts
Busy bee

Aww. *Hugs* Don’t worry! I found that when my SO moved in together after ending LDR- we sniped at each other waaaay more than we do now- but we both knew it was a phase. We could never take each other for granted, the LD aspect of our relationship made us stronger and we fall more in love with each other every day.

Change: That’s life, sister! Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d be pretty sad if I was moving back to Dallas from Japan, too (I grew up in Dallas, and have traveled to Japan – it is AMAZING!). Just try and remember that you get to start a new life with your boyfriend, AND you have all of this great travel knowledge. You can always go back! Make adventure a priority in your relationship, and you will feel fulfilled.

Post # 7
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ive been through this before too. My FI started out long distance in college. I moved accross the country and saw him every couple of months. When he decided to move accross the county to be with me  I had the same feelings you were; not about leaving home, but about seeing him EVERY DAY. I thought, “wow, how will i feel seeing him every day. When we see each other now it’s like a vacation. Now it’s real life!” I think it was our LDR version of cold feet.

There will definitely be an adjustment period but you’ll get used to it and as long as you dont want to take each other for granted and keep that in mind, you will remember to treat each other with kindness. And just remember next time you feel overwhelmed, he won’t have to comfort you over skpe. He’ll be able to give you a hug in person.

And I agree with the others, try to make it a priority to go back to Japan and keep in touch with friends over skype.

 

 

Post # 8
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh sweetie!!  I know EXACTLY how you feel!

I met my FI when I was living in London for a year, and we didn’t start officially dating until 3 months before I left.  We broke up, and I went back to Los Angeles with a broken heart.  We ended up keeping in touch for 6 months before we decided we couldn’t live without each other.  He asked me to marry him, and the first 4 months of our engagement we were 9000 miles apart.  I flew here about 6 weeks ago, and I was terrified that things would change.

Well, they HAVE changed!  It’s strange but wonderful to be able to wake up next to him, and while we do argue more often now… we’re able to make up, go out, stay in, or just sit on the couch and watch a movie.  We’ve gone from Long Distance Romance to No-Distance Relationship. 

Yesterday, I just started tearing up randomly because this change has been so hard for me.  I miss my friends in LA, my coworkers at my old jobs, and even my car, lol… but you know what?  Getting emails from friends that miss and love you is like getting an unexpected gift.  Keeping in touch with loved ones via Skype and Facebook or whatever you use is so easy, and it feels just as good as seeing them everyday.  I’m glad I read your post… it makes me feel better too!!

Post # 10
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

GreenEyedMoon, I can really relate, I work with college students in the middle east and I am leaving in 2 weeks. I am really going to miss them and I can’t help but wonder if they will even remember me. I have been here two years and I have had my own life here, Japan sounds way cooler, but this place has really grown on me!

I am moving to New England to go to graduate school now, the same school as the BF, and I am ‘kfj;kgjkgjdlksomg sooo excited to be together again. But in the back of my mind I am scared that the adjustment might be hard on our relationship.

I have also noticed that in a lot of successful LDR’s the couples talk A LOT and we are no exception, I worry that when we are in a no-distance-relationship that we might not make a conscious effort to do that daily, you know, take it for granted.  

Im guessing you are about done with the courses! I wish you the best of luck on the adjustment back!

Post # 11
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am in the same position as you are GreenEyedMoon. Our LDR is about to end! this post has helped alot. Thanks bees!

Post # 12
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We’re still long-distance, so I haven’t experienced this myself yet, but you know what?  Change is freaking scary!  And two years is a long time to live somewhere, so don’t beat yourself up for being sad to leave.  It’s not black and white; it’s not like either you love one place and hate the other, right?  Feeling overwhelmed with this huge life change is completely reasonable.  But I’d also make sure to tell him exactly how you’re feeling, so he doesn’t just see you crying and think it’s because you don’t want to come home!

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