Post # 1
I do not know what to do- or that I can do anything about how absolutely terrified I am to talk down the aisle. I HATE being the center of attention in ANY setting.
My high school graduation (15 years ago, and the memory is still clear as day)- it was a small school- so for graduation, girls and guys pair up- and each couple walks down the aisle- not with the rests of the group, but just those 2. I almost vomited the day of my graduation and decided right then and there that there was NO way I was ever getting married (and walking down an aisle)-
My wedding is i November, and I am ALREADY freaked out.
Everything I think about, I get uncomfortable. No, I am not exaggerating LOL. It’s very possible someone might have to drag me down the aisle. The icing? I am a HUGE klutz (I am wearing flats though)- so this doesn’t exactly help matters. Let’s just say my middle name is NOT Grace.
I don’t really want to take an anti-anxiety- I don’t want to take something I am not familiar with on my wedding day and I will be drinking a bit of alcohol.
How do you ladies (or men!) deal with this!!!
Post # 3
Have you considered doing a 1st look to take away a little bit of the anxiety? That way your FH can see you and tell you everything will be ok! Then you can just focus on him while walking down the aisle? Just a thought.
I don’t like being the center of attention either so we are doing a 1st look that way the nerves of him seeing me for the 1st time are already gone 🙂
Post # 4
@MrsEME: I also hate being the center of attention! cant stand it! But to help my fiance and I are doing a first look, AND hes walking with me down the isle. He’s going to walk half way, stop, im going to walk up and meet him then we are both going to walk together the rest of the way. It makes e feel SO much better, im still worried about reading my vows to him in front of everyone now =s
Post # 5
@MrsEME: Definitely don’t take anything on the wedding day or drink too much! BAD idea – plus some anti-anxiety things can backfire and make you feel MORE anxious. haha
With that said, where is the ceremony? Can you change things around so you dont have to walk down a full aisle? Like outdoors, arrange the seats in a circle so its shorter or maybe come in from a side door (ie. if its a church) and surprise your guests!!
Post # 6
I’m the same! I hate being centre of attention, I was sooooo nervous and sick about walking down the aisle. When the time came, I can honestly say that I didn’t even realize people were there. I held my dads arm and we walked down and it seemed like a blink and it was over. While standing up there same thing, I forgot people were there! I had the idea of standing at the front so that I was facing my parents and bridesmaids, and he was facing his parents and groomsmen. Made it a bit easier.
Post # 7
Do a first look! You’ll feel so much more calm IMO.
Post # 8
@MrsEME: i agree with pp, maybe do a first look so that you can alleviate that part of the day’s stress.
are you walking down the aisle with your dad? perhaps, both parents (if possible) can walk with you on either side for support. you won’t have to be the only one in the spotlight.
in the meantime, perhaps you can find some exercises that will help you with your anxiety. do something that you are normally uncomfortable doing to build your confidence. example: go to dinner by yourself.
Post # 9
@MrsEME: I’m actually great in social situations and have no problem standing in front of a crowd. Let me tell you.. the 10 minutes before I walked down the aisle I had the WORST case of social anxiety ever! I remember saying to my sister(my MOH)”You know what I don’t care, if I have a heart attack then I have a heart attack!!”
Well, (I was lucky I had both my Dad and Brother walk me down!) as soon as those double doors opened up I had tunnel vision aimed right to my DH and started cracking up!! Haha! I couldn’t look away if I tried! It was an amazing experience <3
Post # 10
@MrsEME: I am the exact same way! A few weeks ago, I was a bridesmaid in my friends wedding and I threw up before I walked down the aisle! It was a horrible experience. I went to my doctor and she put me on medication only until after my wedding because I hated the idea of being on medication too. I can actually tell a difference when I am in social settings and am feeling much more confindent about my wedding day.
Something else to keep in mind – everyone that is there at your wedding is there for YOU and to celebrate with YOU! If something happens and the ceremony does not end up being perfect, because you aren’t feeling well or for whatever reason, they will all still love you.
Post # 11
Well I don’t know how traditional you are, but you know there’s no law that says you HAVE to walk down the aisle at the beginning of your wedding :). My friend also really hated the idea of it, so she just didn’t do it. Her and her fiance just both walked in from the side quick as you please.
If you still want to have that traditional entrance though there are ways to reduce the anxiety of it other than drugs! One is to have a first look, like people have already suggested. Another is to rehearse the heck out of it. Do multiple run throughs of the walk down the aisle at the rehearsal and it should start to feel more natural by the end. Finally, you can practice it in your head. Start now visualizing yourself walking down the aisle on your wedding day, and try to keep yourself relaxed while you do it. Think of how happy you will be to be getting married. Picture it in as much detail as you can and do it often. It sounds silly but it’s a technique therapists use to help people get over fears and it does work!
Post # 13
The way I see it, it is 10 seconds of walking slowly in front of people I know and like.
I’m sure I’ll be nervous, but probably (secretly) about the actual act of walking up to get married, rather than taking those few steps down the aisle.
Something that helps me to relax about it is imagining how I’d want to walk down the aisle if it was totally up to me, with no traditions or expectations.
Because I’d crazy dance down the whole way, wiggling my arms and making faces. Maybe I could like moonwalk to the “altar” and robot-dance myself into place.
My fiance, of course, would be very impressed and even more in love with me.
None of this is actually going to happen (I can’t dance!), but thinking and laughing about it really helps to ease my nerves.
You should practice if you’re this anxious about it, or at least research the crap out of it. I find that reading and researching something makes me feel much less nervous about things.
Like, if you’re getting married in a church, go to a church or a small chapel (sometimes they’re in the basement of churches) during a time when no services are taking place and practice walking. Look up tips on walking – how to hold your bouquet, how to time your steps, how to hold you head.
Think of it as a very short dance routine, albiet less crazy than what I’ve been imagining.
I also agree about the first look. We’re doing one pretty much only so I can get over some of my nerves.
You’ll be fine!
And after you’re fine… you’ll be married!!!
Post # 14
My FI and I are having a small wedding mostly for this exact same purpose. How many people are attending your wedding? Is there any way to make it fewer people?
Post # 15
@MrsEME: Oh my goodness I feel exactly the same way! I am worried that I will be so nervous that I won’t smile at all walking down the aisle. My solution? My soon to be sister in law (bridesmaid)said she will make funny faces to get me to laugh/smile! 🙂
I would just try and keep your focus on your FI as much as possible. Just remember that everyone is there to support you and wouldn’t be there if they didn’t love you guys! No one is there to judge you! Good luck 🙂
Post # 16
I have to leave to meet my mom about some wedding stuff right now- but I can’t wait to get home and read all your responses- thinking about this right now STILL has me freaking lol