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Oh man that sucks to have to be uncertain about the MOH for so long!! Do you or ur fiance have a sister or maybe a cousin? or even your mom could step in at the last minute if the original MOH can't come.
My fiance has a sister but she is already one of my BMs. I don't have any cousins that are in the States, and none of them are coming to the wedding... And for whatever reason, my mom is really set on doing things "the traditional way" so she probably wouldn't step in as MOH.
I guess worst case scenario I would just promote one of the other girls and I'm sure they would understand that I had to pick SOMEONE... But then we'd have an uneven number of GMs and BMs. Not the end of the world but agh, annoying!
First of all, you can get married without a MOH in attendance, you don't have to promote a BM. Second, that really stinks she may not be able to make it. But don't make the mistake of assuming she can just becasue she has the money. A plane ticket to HK and back is VERY expensive and if they were saving for something else that might take precedence. It also might depend on the time she has available due to the position, because that trip isn't short either.
Try not to worry about it too much and just leave her to the decision making!
Silly question from someone who is doing a 15 person DW with no wedding party 
Do you HAVE to have a MOH? I know you said your mom is set on doing things traditionally, but would you set tongues wagging if you just have BMs?
I understand how upset you are - but you shouldn't expect your friends to plan their lives around your wedding. I know it will be hard for her to miss your big day, but if that is what's best for her and her family - she has to move. Plus, a ticket is pretty expense coupled with the high cost of living in HK.
Maybe if you promote a BM to MOH (maybe ur fiance's sister? and then blame it on him lol), then make the best man stand at the front with the groom. Then make a groomsman walk up with the MOH then it won't be SO OBVIOUS that there aren't the same number of BMs and GMs. I might have to do this because of a BM dropped out and I can't unask a groomsman.
I think it would look funny if my FI has a Best Man and I don't have a MOH. He has a brother so that was an obvious pick for him... I don't know.
I know it sounds a little unreasonable to expect her to fly back, but in the last three months, they have gone on vacation internationally THREE times. Prior to that, in the past year, they have been to Napa, France, and HK a handful of times. They definitely are not saving up for anything, so I assumed (maybe wrongly) that I would be enough of a priority that she would travel for me. I guess I am more hurt that it doesn't seem as big of a priority for her as it would be for me if I were in her shoes.
@ Chartreuse - that is a really good idea actually! Will keep that in mind, thanks!
Yea I would say not having a MOH isn't the biggest deal in the world at all. You know she will still be there in spirit even if she can't make the trip. I don't think it would look wierd if he has a Best Man and you don't have a MOH. How would the guests notice besides the fact that you have 3 girls and he would have 4 guys? What if you added a 4th bridesmaid or junior attendant? Is your flower girl old enough to stand up there just to balance it out?
elaine - I totally, totally sympathize with you, and please don't take this the wrong way (I really am just trying to give you another perspective), but I think that you should take a breath and relax. You really can't judge people on their financial situtations; I would personally be be really offended if anyone assumed I could afford to do something just because I could afford to do something else. I'm a little confused on whether she will have a job waiting in HK for her or not when she arrives, but if not, maybe she is worried about their financial future in the short run after they move? Sure, they could have traveled less and saved up to attend your wedding, but I guess some people just don't think like that. Also, maybe she is a planner/worrier and doesn't want to commit to going to your wedding if they are still trying to get settled in HK? It's a pretty big move! Or maybe things are just up in the air in general with her now and she's hedging her attendance since she can't really predict how exactly it will all shake out?
I'm so sorry your feelings are hurt (mine would be also!), but I would say, if she is such a good friend of yours, give her the benefit of the doubt. But don't let her mess up your wedding plans - prepare a backup plan now!
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So I really shouldn't be doing this at work but I'm freaking out about my MOH and I need someone to share with/vent to! My MOH is originally from Hong Kong. She moved here a few years ago with her husband. They have been thinking about moving back to HK but it wasn't supposed to be till the end of this year or even next year. Well, they just found out that they will be moving in either April or May which is BEFORE my wedding!
At first I didn't think this was a big deal because they fly back and forth from the US to HK all the time (at least 2x/year) and travel a ton, so I figured they would just fly back for the wedding. But now she is saying that her attendance will depend on whether or not her current company lets her take a part time consulting position with them. I don't really understand why that would dictate whether or not they can come to the wedding, since they aren't hurting for money and could afford the trip on their own.
I don't want to stress out before it's even final but she might not know until as late as March whether or not she can go to the wedding! I wouldn't want to ask anyone else to be in the wedding at this point (it seems like it might be kind of insulting to ask someone to late after everyone else) but I don't really want to "promote" any of the other girls to MOH since they're all friends in pairs (i.e. we are a group of 3 friends and neither of them are closer to me than the other). Ahhh!
Total, complete sad fries.