Free venue or dream venue?

posted 3 years ago in Venue
  • poll: Which venue?
    free family restaurant : (66 votes)
    76 %
    mansion : (21 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9531 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Honestly, I’m with your husband. But I’m a big sentimental schmuck! I love that his family has all of their celebrations there. I woudl think that it feels homey (which I’m a fan of, considering I did a backyard wedding). I can picture poeple sitting there and remembering when great-grandma So-and-so danced in that room. Or whatever. I like the historical signficance for the family. And I like free. It will also give you a lot more lee-way in organization. They’re going to be more flexible about when you can get in to decorate and what drinks you serve, etc.

    All that being said, if you really really really want the other venue, then talk to your guy about it. But it sounds like he’s expressed his wishes. He likes the family venue. If you’re worried about the place not being “special” enough or “memorable” enough because it’s sharing space with other events from the past, then funnel some of that saved money into some awesome decorations. And just think. For years after the wedding you and your family can walk into the restaurant and remember how awesome your wedding was!

    Post # 5
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @ButterflyButterfly:  Take the free venue and spend the money you would have spent on the dream venue making the free venue look ridiculously amazing.  Ceiling drapery, uplighting, upgraded linens and centerpieces.  You could have a nice wedding at the dream venue and spend a lot of money in the process or you could spend a lot of money and totally transform the free venue into a wonderland.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3777 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @JenGirl: You made excellent points. I love the idea that OP’s daughter might dance on the same floor someday, etc.

    The flexibility  is priceless. To be able to decorate when you want and take your time cleaning up after… aw man, that’s worth it’s weight in gold.

    Also, free is an amazing thing.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3777 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Oh, and the free venue won’t be telling you what food to use, what booze packages you have to buy, what you can and can’t put on the walls, etc etc. Lots of rules and regulations would be avoided, which is great, too.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I guess I am the only one who would go with the mansion! I totally get not wanting to be at the family restaurant, if that is where every other family party is held. Plus I HATE places with no windows. Also, I would be afraid that his family would try to take over the whole reception planning because they run the restaurant and they do this all the time so you have to do things their way… I don’t know how pushy your future inlaws are though? Maybe they wouldn’t be like that…

    Post # 9
    Member
    2132 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Definitely with your fiance.  Not only can that money be used for something else, it is so special to get married in a place with family significance.  Have some beautiful unique decorations and invest in a great DJ to make your wedding memorable.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    309 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @littlemisst08:  I normally don’t like venues without windows but in this case the good outweighs the bad IMO.  I like the sentiment & tradition at the family restaurant.  Plus, free?  I’d go with the family restaurant all day!  Especially when you can put the money saved to good use between the new house & honeymoon. I vote for the honeymoon btw!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    If it was any other free venue, I would totally be against the idea, but I think PPs make some wonderful points about how special a place that you will visit again and again and can relive memories will be.

    I don’t vote free, I’m voting a place that can be special for a long time instead of just one day.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1549 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Definitely not the mansion. Think about your marriage – not the wedding. The wedding is just one day – its more important to put that money toward the health of your marriage (ie. debts on the home, etc). I think a lot of married bees will tell you that. Its easy to get caught up in the “big awesome wedding of my dreams, its the most important day of my life” feeling – but quite honestly it will be over before you know it what you have left is a lot more important. Invest in your future – use that money responsibly.

    You’ll still have a beautiful memorable wedding and if you go with the family restaurant then everytime you go there you’ll be filled with the “this is where we got marrried” excitement. Your wedding being held there will replace alll the other memories you have of that place. Pick a beautiful place to hold the ceremony – get a party bus or a limo or something fun to transport you there. And decorate it up beautifully. It will be great. No windows? Who cares that ruins the look of very pretty uplights anyway!

    If you really hate the family restaurant then find another venue thats inexpensive that you both like and compromise.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1881 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I say the family restaurant, not just because it’s free, but because I think it would be insulting to the family to not have it there. Can you guys compromise by picking out an amazing ceremony location?

    Post # 15
    Member
    8593 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    What’s the cost difference?  If it’s like 10k savings, I would go with the free venue!  If it’s a $1000-$2000 or something (just pretending the average wedding is like $25k), maybe do the dream venue.

    Also, I don’t know what it looks like, but you can do a lot with draping and uplighting.  People have transformed plain rooms into some incredible looking things!

    Post # 16
    Member
    392 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    What if you did a rehersal at the mansion? It would be cheaper than a whole wedding, you would have less people to feed. It would be small and intimate, but still at the mansion. 

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