Post # 1
We all have them. So one of mine has begun to talk about a man she met via OkCupid. They met maybe once and have been keeping in touch online because he is in the military. My “friend” knows that my bf and I plan to get engaged next year. She enjoys irking me by stating if this OkCupid boy proposes during their Maine trip early next year, she would totally say yes. I CANT STAND HER!
Does anyone else feel like they are in competition with a friend to get engaged? I know it sounds shallow, but sometimes we feel like our friends who have a less stable relationship or haven’t been dating someone longer than we have, shouldn’t get married before us! Am i the only crazy who thinks this?
Post # 3
Every person’s relationship is different. Some people date for a few months and get engaged, others wait years and years. It isn’t really a competition.
Post # 4
It’s only a competition if you make it one.
Post # 5
No, and “frenemies” in my life are quickly converted to “strangers”.
Post # 6
If you can’t stand her, why do care?
Post # 7
@fainavach1992: It’s pretty common to have this thoughts. I’ve had them. BUT it’s totally WRONG if you let them grow in you. Because they are silly and not worthy.
They’ll make you bitter and keep you from enjoying your love story. Embrace what you have girl.
Post # 8
@fainavach1992: no to competing, because what works in one relationship can be the death of another one. And also no to having frenemies! I cut mine off and am so much happier and healthier for it.
Post # 10
@fainavach1992: you’re right. You do sound shallow.
The fact that you have been with your SO longer does not automatically mean your relationship is more solid, valid or must needs be given preferential treatment.
No one is obligated to put their lives or relationships on hold for yours. You are the one creating a competition here. Own it.
Post # 11
Well, we actually don’t all have frenemies. Sure, lots of people aren’t ever going to be good friends, but once you realize that about a person, why bother spending time with them? Life’s too short for frenemies, don’t you think? Just don’t have her in your life. It’s the season of peace after all! Don’t you deserve some? 🙂
Post # 12
@fainavach1992: I actually felt bad when I got engaged to my fiance! I have a really close friend ( a bridesmaid ) who has been with her boyfriend since our junior yr in college (AKA close to 7 years ago). They just bought a house, have a puppy, but…he shows zero signs of proposing (I think he’s a douche who has no intentions of marrying her but that’s just my opinion, lol)!
Meanwhile, I had been with my fiance for just over a year when he proposed to me (we will ahve a 15 month engagement when we get married, so together for 2 1/2 yrs on our wedding date). I actually felt nervous telling her we were engaged because she is upset that she doesn’t have a ring yet and I didn’t want to make her feel bad!
Post # 13
@fainavach1992: I agree with PP’s… life is not a competition. When you find yourself competing with people to see who will get engaged, married, pregnant, etc. first – you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness and potentially REALLY bad decisions.
I also don’t believe in having “frenemies”. What’s the point of being friends with someone that you secretly despise? Nothing good can come of it. Who needs people in their lives that are secretly hoping they’ll fail?
Post # 14
@fainavach1992: nope. I don’t have frienemies because I get to choose who I spend my time with and like myself enough to not spend it with people I hate. I certainly wouldn’t spend my time worrying about the hypothetical future engagement of someone I hate to someone she most likely won’t be dating long.
You deserve to enjoy your life. Stop making it bad by thinking about crap that doesn’t matter.
Post # 15
@fainavach1992: You plan on getting engaged next year…your friend would like to be engaged next year. What’s the big deal? Sooner or later, you’re going to hit that point in your social life where everyone is getting engaged left and right. It’s better to let that kind of stress go now!
Post # 16
@weatherbug: no offense to ur friend..but u shoulda warned her not to move in with him!