posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Every person’s relationship is different. Some people date for a few months and get engaged, others wait years and years. It isn’t really a competition.

Post # 4
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

It’s only a competition if you make it one.

Post # 5
4135 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No, and “frenemies” in my life are quickly converted to “strangers”.

Post # 6
4638 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If you can’t stand her, why do care?


Post # 7
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@fainavach1992:  It’s pretty common to have this thoughts. I’ve had them. BUT it’s totally WRONG if you let them grow in you. Because they are silly and not worthy.

They’ll make you bitter and keep you from enjoying your love story. Embrace what you have girl.

Post # 8
1834 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@fainavach1992:  no to competing, because what works in one relationship can be the death of another one. And also no to having frenemies! I cut mine off and am so much happier and healthier for it.

Post # 10
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@fainavach1992:  you’re right. You do sound shallow.

The fact that you have been with your SO longer does not automatically mean your relationship is more solid, valid or must needs be given preferential treatment.

No one is obligated to put their lives or relationships on hold for yours. You are the one creating a competition here. Own it.

Post # 11
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

Well, we actually don’t all have frenemies. Sure, lots of people aren’t ever going to be good friends, but once you realize that about a person, why bother spending time with them? Life’s too short for frenemies, don’t you think? Just don’t have her in your life. It’s the season of peace after all! Don’t you deserve some? 🙂

Post # 12
4959 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@fainavach1992:  I actually felt bad when I got engaged to my fiance! I have a really close friend ( a bridesmaid ) who has been with her boyfriend since our junior yr in college (AKA close to 7 years ago). They just bought a house, have a puppy, but…he shows zero signs of proposing (I think he’s a douche who has no intentions of marrying her but that’s just my opinion, lol)! 

Meanwhile, I had been with my fiance for just over a year when he proposed to me (we will ahve a 15 month engagement when we get married, so together for 2 1/2 yrs on our wedding date). I actually felt nervous telling her we were engaged because she is upset that she doesn’t have a ring yet and I didn’t want to make her feel bad! 

Post # 13
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@fainavach1992:  I agree with PP’s… life is not a competition. When you find yourself competing with people to see who will get engaged, married, pregnant, etc. first – you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness and potentially REALLY bad decisions.

I also don’t believe in having “frenemies”. What’s the point of being friends with someone that you secretly despise? Nothing good can come of it. Who needs people in their lives that are secretly hoping they’ll fail?

Post # 14
6951 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@fainavach1992:  nope. I don’t have frienemies because I get to choose who I spend my time with and like myself enough to not spend it with people I hate. I certainly wouldn’t spend my time worrying about the hypothetical future engagement of someone I hate to someone she most likely won’t be dating long. 

You deserve to enjoy your life. Stop making it bad by thinking about crap that doesn’t matter. 

Post # 15
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@fainavach1992:  You plan on getting engaged next year…your friend would like to be engaged next year.  What’s the big deal?  Sooner or later, you’re going to hit that point in your social life where everyone is getting engaged left and right.  It’s better to let that kind of stress go now!


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