Post # 1
First time poster, appreciate candid advice.
I am currently planning a weekend wedding. Everyone will be driving at least 3 hours (nearest cities are Sacramento and San Francisco), and I know no one in the location. I would like to have a Friday ceremony/reception, with activities planned on Saturday, a beach bbq Saturday night, and a brunch on Sunday.
Basically, having a whole weekend with my close family and friends is really important to me. I feel like a Saturday evening event will just be a drive in, drive out. But I realize that anyone who attends my wedding will have to at least take Friday after lunch off of work to attend.
Basically, is this a crazy imposition, or acceptable? I will be hosting a number of events, and I am holding the reception at a pretty affordable place rooms wise, especially for the area. The only people I anticipate who will fly in from out of state are my very closest friends and family.
My basic question is if it is crazy to ask people to take half a day off of work and rent two nighs n a hotel for a only sort of destination wedding?
Post # 3
To be honest, I think it’s rather inconvenient. Not only will they have to take off additional vacation time, they will have to spend extra money on hotel accomodations to stay through Sunday. Also, it’s great for you that you get to spend extra time with your guests but will they all want to spend time with each other? Because realistically, you won’t get to spend a lot of individual time with your guests so mostly they will be mingling with each other. Not that your family and friends aren’t great, but will your college roommate really want to take a day off so that she can spend the weekend with your Aunt Edna?
If you want to have your wedding on Friday to save money, I totally sympathize. If you want to have it on Friday just to have more time with the guests and have them spend extra time with you, I would recommend having your wedding on a holiday weekend instead.
This is only my opinion though…why don’t you ask your family and friends what they think of the plan?
Post # 4
I’m also having a destination wedding and we are having it also on a Friday so that we can have Saturday "fun day" activities with our guests.
They’ll know well in advance of the schedule and if they can’t or don’t want to take the time off of work it’s their own choice. But for us, we not only want to share our very special place that we are getting married at with our loved ones and close friends, we want them to enjoy it too. And with a drive like 3 or 4 hours, I’d rather do it our way than take over a holiday weekend which IMO is even more horrible.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t have a problem with a Friday wedding – what a great excuse for a 4-day work week! 🙂
I attended a DW a few years ago that was on a Wednesday – yikes – that pretty much took the whole week as we had to go to the RD the day before, but I don’t think taking a Friday off is too big a deal for most people. I know a lot of venues give great discounts for a Friday wedding instead of the peak Saturday time.
Post # 6
Thanks for the thoughts.
I’ll just add a few things:
– sadly, I save no money with a Friday wedding, as I am holding it at a small resort which only hosts one event a weekend.
– I am not inviting anyone who doesn’t know at least one other person, and everyone is welcome to bring a guest.
– This is not a destination wedding in the sense that it is also our honeymoon. We plan on hanging out with guests the whole weekend.
– It is a smallish wedding, about 50 to 70.
Still appreciate thoughts!
Post # 7
I had a ‘sort of’ destinatoin wedding. We have a welcome BBQ Friday evening (start at 7pm), wedding Saturday, and brunch Sunday.
I think you should consider something similar- especially if the Friday reception doesn’t save any money.
That way you can have a welcome dinner (ours went from 7-10pm) and people can arrive late if necessary and not be missing your reception. What’s traffic like getting from those major cities to your location on a Friday night? You don’t want guests stuck in traffic and missing your ceremony.
We had the vast majority of our guests come on Friday and stay till Sunday. Some only came for the wedding and others came early Saturday and stay for the Sunday brunch.
I just think trying to get everyone to a ceremony on Friday will be a hassle. I think it will be a lot more relaxed if you welcome people on Friday and have the wedding Saturday.
(Also- if your guests worked Friday, then drove 3 hours in traffic, they are going to be super tired and maybe no up for partying as hard as they would if they slept in on Saturday).
Post # 8
I would switch your events for Friday and Saturday. That way as many people as possible can make it to the bbq/welcome party on Friday by taking time off work. Then those who absolutely can’t will make it by early Saturday and have the rest of the weekend.
Post # 9
The points about traffic and being tired are good ones. Probably about 20% of my guests will be coming from San Francisco, so leaving giving them 3 hours on Friday may be way too little time. And missing the ceremony…yeah, that would be a stinker.
I guess I am just really reluctant to give up the "fun day", as described by an earlier poster. My fiance and I both moved around as children, then the two of us moved to California from Ohio, so we have super close friends around the country who we only see every few years.
BUT, you have good points. Truth be told, fiance will be able to spend time with his friends, and I could host a little luncheon after decorating and before beautifying (yes, I will be supervising my own decorating. I am a lawyer, SUPER anal).
Might need to start a new post for this, but at weekend weddings you’ve had/attended, what did the bride do on the ceremony day with the guests?
Post # 10
Yes, I do like my "fun day" but we are also have a welcome dinner on Thursday. So you have to note that one.
Post # 11
The bride doesn’t do anything on the ceremony day, from the wedding’s I’ve been to. It’s her day. She sleeps, primps, takes pictures. It’s a very busy and sometimes stressful day. I personally would not wish to put more on my own plate for that day.
Post # 12
If you aren’t saving any money by doing it on Friday, then I would really put the wedding on Saturday. Some people jsut wont be able to get there in time on Friday adn will spend the rest of the weekend feeling like they really missed out. You can still have it be a weekend event with the wedding on Saturday – you just need to make sure everyone knows about your other plans ahead of time. Have the BBQ on Friday night, still have the activities on saturday (even though you’ll be getting ready, your guests and family will be having fun), and have the brunch on sunday as planned! My wedding last last weekend and we had a Welcome Party on Friday night, wedding and reception on saturday, and then a brunch on sunday. Everyone came to everything they could be there for and loved it. Some people couldnt get there in time for the Welcome Party on Friday and I would have been sad if that had been them missing the wedding. Just my two cents.
Post # 13
For me, I didn’t do anything with my guests prior to the ceremony. My ceremony was at 2pm and the photographer arrived to start portraits at noon. So, since I had to be ready before that, there wasn’t much time for anything. Also- I had been up late at the welcome party the night before, so I wasn’t really wanting to do a lot before the ceremony.
What time were you going to have your ceremony? If it’s in the evening, then you may have some time. But I would recommend checking out some timelines- usually it doesn’t matter what time the ceremony is, the bride spends all day getting ready!
There are a bunch of timelines here: