Post # 1
I love a good story thread. So, what’s the worst partygoer offense that you’ve either seen, done, or heard about directly from a reliable source?
My story: an ex told me that many years ago, he was at a party thrown be a good friend of his. When I say good friend, I mean that the two of them were still friends nearly a decade after this party. So at this party, for whatever unknown reason, my ex is drawn by the fingers of Satan to open the refrigerator and pull out a full 18-pack of eggs. He takes the carton of eggs and places it in the microwave. Sets the microwave for 20 minutes. Walks away. Nobody has seen him do this.
Naturally, the eggs all explode and then cook and burn onto every surface of the microwave. The host of the party is FURIOUS, obviously … and so is my ex. “Who the hell did this? Who puts a carton of eggs in the microwave?! That person is an asshole!” he insists, never letting on for a second that it was him. The party’s host never finds out who did it, and for years afterwards she would sometimes come out with “God, remember that party where some shithead put those eggs in the microwave?” And my ex would agree with her that that person was a horrible monster who ought to be in a zoo. He truly believed that if she found out it was him, even years later, she would end the friendship over it.
So … that was a pretty shitty thing to do. However, I did totally steal the line “that person is an asshole” to describe the perpetrator of any crime where the perp is actually me. “Who got butter on the table and just left it there?” “I dunno, but that person is an asshole!” “So it was you?” “…”
It’s how I confess to things.
Share your stories! All of em!
Post # 2
iarebridezilla: OMG I love your story (and how you still use it, lol)! Too funny. My worst moments were always when I was gloriously fearlessly college drunk. I was sometimes “that” person, but at the same time it was never a super bad thing. Not like hardcore party fouls, just sometimes rules for future parties would be made after I attended a previous one. Examples:
-I drunkenly ordered pizza and invited the pizza guy to the party. He showed up later with 14 friends. Rule: MrsHalpert can no longer order delivery
-I stole a large concrete urn from an abandoned historic building.
-I spill a lot of drinks. Rule: I only get plastic cups. TO THIS DAY my friends drink from glasses and only give me plastic. Mostly as a joke but slightly as a precaution.
-I took over as bartender and made a lot of “mojitos” with Listerine. Rule: I’m no longer allowed to bartend.
-I came up with an awesome game at my birthday party. There were mini liquor bottles stuck into the cake. “Hey y’all why don’t we throw hard candies at the bottles and whoever hits it decides who drinks it!” Well except we all wound up with welts and bruises. Rule: I can’t invent games anymore.
-I’m not allowed to use the samurai sword for food prep anymore. It was one time but apparently it was a party foul.
The list goes on. Hopefully this was a little Friday Fun for ya 🙂 Now I want to have a party…lol
Post # 3
Throwing up on the homeowner’s pet. Enough said.
I was a witness, I did not barf on kitty, I prmise :p
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
In college, I lived with two roommates who were also my close friends. We had a house with a little “loft” area (basically you took a ladder from the kitchen into a teeny tiny room that we used to watch TV or hang out, etc.), and we used to have parties a lot.
Once some guys who were in a band and in town for a show or something needed a place to stay. I guess my roommate knew them? Anyway, they slept in our loft and one of them peed his pants. I won’t say what the name of the band is here because subsequently they became mildly famous. Luckily I wasn’t the one who had to clean up the mess. 🙂
Post # 5
One of the girlfriends of a groomsmen at my wedding drank too much. She hopped in the limo bus (which was a Mercedes) heading back to the hotel at the end of the night with the rest of the wedding party, and threw up in the back. I found out from my mom when I got back from my HM that she had puked down the side panel of the car, and the limo company had to bring it to Mercedes to replace the entire side panel since they couldn’t get the smell out. It cost my parents a lot of money. 🙁
I get that there’s always someone who gets too drunk, but that one really sucked because of the cost.
Post # 6
MrsHalpert: hahaha!!! When this thread went DOA for hours I was so sad. Thanks for giving it life again 🙂 and your stories are hilarious! I’ve had many, many insane parties in the past, which only raises the bar for the kind of behavior required to actually make the “worst guest” top 10 😛
I had one party guest get angry at his girlfriend and punch out a door in my apartment. Door was completely destroyed. Needless to say, the guy was never invited back … and he was very upset about this. Couldn’t understand why there would be parties at my place but he wasn’t welcome to attend them. Never paid me for the busted door, either.
But, last I heard, he shit his pants while waiting in line for food at an Army training school, so there’s that.
Post # 7
MrsHalpert: lmao at the listerine mojitos!!!!
Post # 8
iarebridezilla: are you kidding i LOVE your posts! always make me smile so i was shocked when no one had chimed in on this one!!
shitting your pants is the foulest of party fouls. unless you’re like a 1 year old. and you know on that same token it’s apparently a lot less weird to smash cake into your face and skin if you’re 1 too. i mean talk about a double standard. i guess next they’ll tell us that it’s inappropriate throw a fit when everyone decides they don’t want to do what you want and also how “uncool” and “rude” it is to snatch things from your friends. whatever.
Post # 9
Laur12: i have no regrets. everyone smelled fresh and clean and should have thanked me, in my opinion!
Post # 10
I have two stories:
In high school, I was known to throw the best house parties. This continued on into college. The following stories are from two different parties of mine.
I threw a party on the first Thanksgiving break after high school graduation. Everyone came back into town, everybody was super pumped, etc. An unexpected guest was my high school ex. He was a year older and gorgeous, I had serious regret for a while after we broke up lol. Anyway, he shows up and I say “whatever.” Everything was fine until he got black out wasted. He was trying to hook up with me all night but I wasn’t feeling it at the time (he was a super annoying drunk “frat” dude) so I put him to bed to sleep it off. I tried calling his brother all night to come pick him up but conveniently he never answered. I came back in a little while later to check on him and HE HAD LITERALLY THROWN UP ALL OVER THE BED. He was sleeping in his own vomit. I proceeded to take the sheets off the bed with him still in it since he wouldn’t get up. On my out of the room (the party was over at this point), I saw a friend – that we had let stay over because he literally wouldn’t leave even with our other friends picking him up and trying to put him in their car, shitshow – PEEING IN THE CORNER OF THE LIVING ROOM. Like really?? So I used the vomit sheets to soak up the carpet urine and put them directly in the washer. So gross. I also had to drive home EXBF the next morning. There were other, smaller things that night but those are the big two.
The second story was like 4 or so years ago (so two years after the previous party, though there were other parties inbetween). Another house party at my parent’s house. I had recently discovered Seagram’s Sweet Tea Vodka mixed with lemonade. I got soo drunk so quickly that I barely remember the party after the first hour or so. I pretty much blacked out, but blacked in occasionally throughout the night. I ended up making out with 5 or 6 different guys that night. SO EMBARASSING. In my defense, I thought they were the same guy! Lol. I asked my friends why they didn’t stop me and they said they didn’t even know until some random came up and told them, then they intervened. Needless to say, that was my last houseparty.
That was a year and a half or so before I started dating FI and I’ve calmed down a hell of a lot since then. Though I am still a fun drunk and have smaller parties with only close friends.
Post # 10
MrsHalpert: if I dislike someone for any reason at all, a story about them shitting their pants will be the immediate highlight of my month. I can’t think of a better karmic punishment than the shame and foulness of spewing feces down your pant leg in front of a bunch of people.
And I salute you for your Listerine mojitos! That’s just clever problem-solving 😉
Post # 12
1) A friend’s bridesmaid got so drunk she threw up on the table.
2) My parents were tipsy at my cousin’s wedding and my dad went to dip my mom while dancing and dropped her.
3) A friend’s 2 groomsmen were drunk in the bathroom talking shit about the bride, only to realize that the bride’s father was in one of the stall’s listening.
4) Same groomsmen of the story above pulled a fire alarm at another wedding.
Those two guys are invited to our wedding (they’re both long time best friends of my FI) however they are being asked to not drink at the wedding. We won’t be the first couple to ask this of them, and they both have been understanding when asked. Luckily one of them has been sober for some time now.
Post # 13
I was at a party hosted by my co-ed frat. Two of the brothers were known for getting belligerent with each other after a few beers – the funny horsing around, yelling for no reason kind of belligerent. Inevitably, these two will be wrestling and tackling each other by the end of the night. It’s just what they do. One of those brothers was already at the party and the other hadn’t arrived yet (even though he said he would be there 30 minutes earlier). The one guy exclaims that he’s going to sneak around the front yard and tackle his friend when he arrives, and we all have a good laugh. A dark honda civic pulls up to the house, which is the same car this guy drives. Sneaky bro gets into position in the front yard, jumps out from the bushes, and tackles his friend. Except that it wasn’t his friend, it was a pledge. This guy was muscular and like 200lbs and the pledge he tackled was a 110lb girl. We all felt like crap and were also freaking out because it could raise suspicions of hazing because it was a frat event and she was a pledge. Everything turned out okay and made amends.
I also remember another event where somebody decided to put a solo cup of beer on top of a ceiling fan, then turn the fan on. He then yelled out “beeerrrr showerrrrr”. I don’t think people would have been as upset if he hadn’t picked the fan directly above the fancy pool table. The felt absorbed all of the old beer stank too.
Post # 14
bleusteel: oh lord, the beer shower … that’s the kind of shit that makes people stop inviting you to parties!
At another of my parties, a couple went into the bathroom to have sex and managed to pull down the entire shower curtain rod. I wasn’t mad, though — sometimes you just gotta have sex, and sometimes that means the shower curtain rod gets pulled down. That’s just life, ya know?
Post # 15
Just remembered another one! At another party at my place, a couple locked themselves in the bathroom to have sex. Since the only bathroom was locked, a guy decided to relieve himself off the balcony. This was a poor idea, and the downstairs neighbors were quite displeased.
And let us not forget the party where I had to go pee but the bathroom was occupied by a group of people doing cocaine. I knocked and demanded they at least let me in to pee, but they wouldn’t. And then they broke a towel rack. when the party host discovered the broken towel rack, she was really mad so I tattled the f*** out of those a-holes. That’s what happens when you don’t let me pee, jerks.