Post # 1
I know that Friday night weddings can end up creating huge saving for the couple paying for the wedding but I had a friend bring up a few really good points about the Friday night wedding.
1) Even if you hold it at late (7 PM) – even local people will likely have to get off work, fight traffic, etc
2) If your wedding party is local they will have a Rehersal/dinner event on Thursday (getting off work again!) then have to go to work the next morning or people in the wedding party would have to take off work on Friday. If the wedding party is out of town or it is a destination wedding everyone is going to have to take more time away from work and travel expenses add up fast.
4) More midweek travel time for everyone out of town.
5) Limiting those who would like to come to those who can make it on a Friday.
6) I could go on and on with more and more examples.
I started thinking about it and the last wedding I was in and it was a destination wedding on a Friday – we had to leave on Tuesday to arrive late Tuesday night – helped with wedding details on Wednesday, did the bachelorette/bachelor party wednesday night, rehersal on thursday night, and wedding on Friday. I missed 4 days of work and all the cost of going to the wedding etc. I know that this wedding was an exception with it being a destination wedding but the reality is that most weddings are destination for someone. I know that for mine I have 8 bridesmaids in 4 countries and the no one lives in the same state that wedding is in except for my little sister.
So while I know that a Friday wedding saves the couple money…it seems like it cost the wedding party and guest a fortune and is an inconvience. With the economic hard times it is even more important to be as considerate as possible to your guest and to make every dollar work a little bit harder.
So my I think the question is whether it is worth knowing that it is a hassle for many others just save you money.
Post # 3
How about on a holiday sunday (long weekend)
Usually have friday or monday off on a holiday. Just a thought
Post # 4
We did a Friday night wedding because we held out wedding in Maryland, and almost 85% of our guests came from NJ. Everyone took off of work on Friday, drove to MD for the wedding that day, and then were either able to do some sight-seeing on Saturday and drive back up Sunday morning, OR drive back up on Saturday and still have a whole day to themselves (Sunday) before work on Monday morning.
The bridal party all had to take off an extra day (Thursday) to get down for the rehearsal dinner.
I loved having a Friday night wedding. My thoughts are if people want to come to your wedding, they will make the effort to be there – even if it means taking a day or half day off from work.
Post # 5
Just to maybe spin another perspective. I didn’t want to have a wedding, at least not around my hometown/area, my parents and other family members were insistant that we get married here. Too many people were against a destination wedding because they wouldn’t be able to afford to go. So instead, we’re getting married here on a Friday night so that we can make both our families and ourselves happy without breaking the bank. I respect what you are saying, it is a bit inconvinent for some guests, but I feel with our 100 or so guests, that they generally would rather be there and see us get married no matter what. People do have vacation days which I know are for a vacation but 1 maybe 2 days at most to see a person you love get married doesn’t seem like a high price to me, I would gladly pay the necessary travel expenses to see my friends and family get married. To me at the end of the day all that matters is that I marry the man I love, forget all the pomp. I know I’ve dreamed of my wedding since I was a little girl, but now that the day is come all that matters to me is the marriage. I guess that to me, the huge reception and gradure pales in comparison to that, and I feel that the reception is purely for your guests. I’m glad we’re doing it the way that we are doing it, and those people that do make it to our wedding despite the inconvience I will love more for doing so.
Post # 6
We decided on a Friday wedding on a holiday that most people have off work. Hopefully it’s not inconveniencing too many people.
Post # 7
If people are around, a rehearsal dinner doesn’t HAVE to be the night before the wedding day! Any day could really be a hassle for a wedding for the guests, even Saturdays if it’s out of town (traveling after a day of work isn’t easy!). We had a Sunday wedding, the day before Memorial Day, so that really helped I think, but a lot of our out of town guests didn’t go home right away anyway! Some people look at it as a good excuse to take a break from work.
Post # 8
We are having a Friday evening wedding and I deliberately chose Friday evening, and not because we wanted to save money! I always wanted an early summer eve wedding and a huge casual pig roast the next day. Friday seemed the right choice and Saturday is definitely the right day for the pig roast (plus it is also my birthday!). People are going to need Sunday to recover!
On our wedding web site, we state we know it may be difficult for guests to come to both the Friday ceremony and Saturday pig roast and that the guests should feel free to pick the event that best fits their schedules. We anticipate that we are going to have a lot more people at the pig roast (est. 200) than at the wedding (est. 100). We figure the ones that really want to see us get married will make the effort to be there.
Post # 9
I respect what you are saying, but ultimately you choose what is best for you.
I have family coming in from out of state, and they would have (most likely) missed a whole weeks worth of work just to have the opportunity to hang out with us regardless if it were a Friday or Saturday wedding. (My family is flying in on a Tuesday and departing on a Wednesday)
And another couple of things to add to your list- if you have a Friday Summer wedding… most people want to take off for a long weekend anyways. Second- my family who are flying in from out of town told me it worked best for THEM to fly out on a weekday and fly home on a weekday because it was cheaper than paying to depart/arrive on a weekend flight. So it helped them out financially as well. My uncle is also a wedding photographer- by having a Friday wedding, he was only missing one weekend worth of work instead of two to attend our wedding. Another bonus.
At the end of the day, it worked out for us. Those friends who really wanted to be there made it work in their schedule (most were going to take off time during the summer anyways- why not go hang out with a bunch of mutual friends while they were at it?) AND most of the people attending were very excited for having an excuse to have an extended weekend in Napa Valley. So they fly in to be with us, then Saturday they get to relax and go wine tasting and enjoy the rest of their weekend on their own time gallavanting in Northern Cali whichever way they choose.
As a side note, most of my guests either a) had additional family & friends in the area where we are having our wedding, and get to kill two birds with one stone and visit them (visit siblings, newborn nephews, college buddies that they can spend the night at and catch up) b) Haven’t BEEN to Northern California let alone Napa Valley so they are looking forward to going somewhere new and go sightseeing. c) Get to travel home either Sat or Sun morning and still have time to recouperate when they get back (this last part is not my opinion- but of those of my friends who have told me that it works best for them). So it really depends on your perspective of what you get out of the trip too, and what you choose to focus the pro’s/con’s of a Friday wedding.
**Our wedding venue we are hosting the ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner and reception all in one place. Our guests will not have to shuttle between places that one day. They get to show up and enjoy themselves… Unlike other destination weddings I have been to where the ceremony is in one place, & all the out of towners had to get to the reception which was held elsewhere. (just a side note.)
So do what is best for you & prioritize what is of importance. It isn’t about selfishness or inconvenience. It is about what best works for your needs. whether that be trying to meet your guests needs, or trying to combine your needs with their needs. But guarenteed, you will not be able to make everyone happy. Everyone has to work around something to get what they want done.
Post # 10
I totally think you should do whatever works and feels best for you. However, keep in mind that there will likely be several guests that feel a bit disgruntled about it being on a friday. I just recently attended a friday wedding. While we weren’t able to attend the ceremony (due to it being on a friday afternoon & not being able to get off of work), we did attend the dinner & reception. It did feel a little different than other weddings I’ve gone to – probably becauase it wasn’t the whole day affair that I’m used to.
I will admit that I was a little stressed about the whole thing having to leave work a bit early, rush home and freshen up and change and then rush to the reception for dinner. I wasn’t miffed by it other than that, but there were people talking about the inconvience to them and some other things about holding a friday wedding (they were being cheap, inconsiderate, timing, etc – again….not my words, but what I heard from others.)
In the end, it’s YOUR day and you should do what YOU want.
Post # 11
My fiance and I wanted a Friday night wedding because it would have saved us quite a bit of $, but then we realized that you can’t have a Jewish wedding on a Friday night because it’s Shabbat! So much for that idea 🙂
Post # 12
We had a Friday night weeding. Ceremony was at 4. All of our attendants were at least from out of town with a lot being from out of state. Most didn’t seem to mind and if they did, I didn’t hear about it! We kind of did it as a way to cut down on our guest list. We invited 450 people and knew it would be harder for people to come on a Friday. It sounds bad, but its the truth.
In the end, do what you want. Make sure your attendants know its on a Friday so they can make it work with their schedule. Our attendants came on Thursday afternoon for rehearsal. We didn’t ask that they be there any earlier!
Post # 13
Your concerns were exactly the same as mine – and precisely why we ultimately ended up choosing a Saturday, which costs us more, as opposed to a Friday, which inconveniences our guests more…and all of our guests are traveling at least an hour, some more than four. If we had more local people on our guest list, I probably would’ve kept the Friday. But for us, the fact was that even the closest guest to our venue has to drive an hour to get there, and that’s with no traffic. Add in the fact that they’ll be traveling during rush hour traffic on a Friday in my neck of the woods, that’s just asking for people to not come.
While I agree with some of the posters here that say you should do what you want, I think that it’s the considerate thing to do to think about your guests. For us, many of our guests don’t have paid vacation days, so to ask them to take off a day without pay, pay for gas, attire, hotel, etc., drive hours only to sit in traffic for two more hours….well, it was just asking too much of them, in my opinion. Plus, many of our guests have school-aged children, which would’ve meant taking them out of school – one more reason to check "decline" on the RSVP.
Ultimately, it’s your decision, but you’re right – there are a number of factors to consider. For me, it was about who was on our guest list and how many of them we wanted to be there with us. While it is costing us more to have the wedding on Saturday rather than Friday, we know that it’ll be easier for more of our family and friends to be there by doing so.
Post # 14
I just wanted to throw another perspective in there and share why my FI and I never considered a Friday night wedding.
His cousin got married last June in Cleveland on a Friday at 6 p.m. We work nights and live about an hour outside of Philadelphia. We wanted to come, planned on leaving work Thursday at midnight driving through the night until we couldn’t take it any more, stay in a cheap hotel and drive the remainder the next morning. It was definitely going to be a pain but we wanted to be there. We work at a newspaper. We can’t just take off because we have vacation days and when there was no one to fill in for him we couldn’t go. And we were really dissappointed. If it had been a Saturday we would have been there.
It was very important to my FI to have his entire family from Cleveland at our wedding. Realizing it is a haul to Philadelphia we chose to get married on a holiday weekend on a Saturday. We could have saved a lot of money but that was just more important to us. Also, even if I was local for a Friday night wedding the earliest we could make a ceremony without taking off work is 8 p.m. Not everyone works 9 to 5 and gets three weeks vacation a year. My first two years here I got three days.
You have to do what works best for you but I just wanted to add another perspective after reading several comments along the lines if people really want to be there or care about you they will make it.
Post # 15
Totally biased point of view: I HATE Friday weddings…they may save you money but ending up costing more for every one of your guests between time off and travel.
Also, venues are catching on….it was the same price at almost every reception place I called for both Friday and Saturday. You may be surprised how little difference it ends up making.
Post # 16
I am having a Friday wedding and totally excited about it. I have done the saturday wedding thing before and having a friday wedding did save a lot of money! People are going to come to your wedding no matter what and if they don’t then i won’t hold anything against them. Luckily for us 85% of the 200 people that are coming to our wedding work for themselves so there is no problem with them getting off. My FI and I sent out Save the Date cards really early so people that had to ask for time off could do it in a timely fashion.
Friday worked best for us so that is what we did. Do what works for you and nobody can make that decision but you. Plus what does everyone say on Friday? T.G.I.F.!!!! Our wedding reception will be like everyone’s Happy Hour!