Friday positivity thread: Do you strive to be a better person? In what ways?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m a high school teacher and I try really, really hard to not let the cranky veteran teachers suck me into their pool of negativity.  The jokes about how dumb/lazy the kids are permeate the staff meetings and the lounge.  I get needing to vent, I really do, but making these jokes and complaining before the school year has even started is just setting those kids up to fail in your eyes.  It’s like you’ve already decided that they aren’t going to impress you, so they never will be able to.  Self-fulfilling prophecy.

I’m trying to become more involved with activities and events at the high school so the kids recognize me as a member of their overall community and their whole high school experience, not just a bell-to-bell teacher.  The debate team here is incredible and it’s really overwhelming for the younger kids so many of them don’t try to join until they are older.  I’m going to apply to be the assistant coach of the debate team and help recruit new kids by saying, hey, it’s okay if you haven’t done this before – I haven’t either!  We can learn together and be part of this awesome thing!

Post # 3
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

 

iarebridezilla:   I am in the same boat I have a very sarcastic personality. I have been trying to tone in down but sometimes it just comes out. I think it comes from years and years of being very passive and people walking all over me so I grew a voice and my own opinions.

 

As far as being a good person I believe in Karma so  try to live my life as best I can.

Post # 6
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have a very sarcastic personality as well.  Add to that the occasional propensity to be whiny and judgemental and I can really spiral down into a very negative, angry state if I don’t consciously stop myself.  I’m not like this all the time by any means, but when I am I feel like my thoughts and words could be damaging to myself and others, and just don’t enhance my experience of life nor my relationship with others.  For sure, the occasional sharp quip will bring a quick laugh….but then sometimes I’m left with this nastiness hangover feeling, like at who’s expense am I laughing at? It’s not a good feeling.

Recently, the thing that has been helping me change my thoughts and knee-jerk reactions is something that I came across as a total fluke.  We have a church nearby that has weekly sayings posted on their billboard outside, and recently it said, “Your words should be sweet enough that you won’t mind if you have to eat them.”  It has just stuck in my mind and made me realize that my words are part of how I project myself into the world….what words would I want others to know me by? I don’t want to leave a negative, mean, sharp, judgey, angry impression and so I have to work hard(er) to achieve that.

Post # 7
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

 

iarebridezilla:  

I personally believe that if you are a generally good moral person that good things will come to you. If you are a shitty person then eventually it will come to bite you in the a$$ haha

I am not religious but I do believe in trying to live a moral life. I am also kind of old fashioned in some aspects.

Post # 9
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

iarebridezilla:  I work on being grateful for what I have, living in the moment, and giving back. I am a very goal-oriented person so I am always wondering, “what’s next?” I try to take a step back and enjoy what I have now, which if I think about it is actually more than a lot of people, and be grateful for it. Life shouldn’t always be about what’s next.

I give back by volunteering and donating to causes that I feel make a real difference. People often will give money but not time and I feel both are important. I don’t want to be the person who just writes the cheque.

In informal ways, I also give back/try to be a better person through paying for the person behind me at the drive-thru, taking the time to coach junior employees, and being fully invested in the people I spend time.

For me, that means putting my phones down and actually paying attention to the person I’m with, making an effort to call people and stay in touch, and helping friends in need whether it’s listening, giving advice, or just being there.

Post # 11
Member
1745 posts
Bumble bee

iarebridezilla:  I am focusing my energy on givng back to my community and truly being there for my family and friends. 

 

Post # 12
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I feel like I’m constantly working on different things, but most recently I’ve decided that I have to try to be less judgemental by nature. This all came about the other day when I was out for a walk and a teenage girl crossed my path. She was fairly overweight, wearing a crop top that showed stretch marks all over her tummy. My initial thought was totally influenced by the way I was raised “For crying out loud, cover up and wear something appropriate”. This thought was then followed with “But… why can’t she wear what everyone else her age wears, and actually – that girl is really brave!”. I’ve no idea where that came from, it just popped up in my head, but it made me realize that I was never that brave when I was her age (I used to be very overweight too) and that it was completely unfair of me to judge her clothing style simply based on her weight. So… I’ll have to make an effort to be more open-minded and less discriminating just based on other peoples appearance. I think it’s especially important now when I’m about to become a mum myself. I don’t want my child to grew up in a home as inflexible and condescending of others as the one I grew up in.

Post # 13
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It wasn’t until I was about 20 that I figured out how introverted I was. It’s only gotten worse with age, too. As my best friend would say, I am usually a one-person kind of person. In other words, if I have just one other person around me in my day-to-day life, then I don’t “need” others.  She was my one-person until I met my husband. Now he’s my person. Except, he’s extroverted – like big time. So he forces me into more social settings than I would choose on my own. But at the same time, he sees how social gatherings drain me so he also keeps track of things like, “Honey, would you like to stay home from the party Friday so that we can go to dinner with The Joneses on Saturday? That way you won’t be overwhelmed and exhausted.” He knows that just being at work all week usually exceeds my people quota (lol?).  I so appreciate him for that. With all that said, what I’m getting at is that I want to be a better friend. I’ve been trying to reach out to my other friends to see them more often and initiate our friendships better. But in one-one settings 🙂

I am also trying to overcome my emotional eating tendancies. This morning was a fail. I weighed in at Weight Watchers to discover that I gained 0.2lbs back, so I promptly stopped for donuts afterwards because “Who cares? I’m already gaining.” I’ve already snapped myself out of it. I mean it was 0.2lb. I shouldn’t beat myself up wtih donuts over that. My emotions and logic don’t always occur at the same time.

Oh and to top it off, I have a similar goal to yours in that I no longer want to get pulled into the office gossip. I figure if they will say that about each other to me then they are saying that about me to each other. I just don’t want to be a part of that.

Post # 15
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

The quote I live by (and share with my clients) is, “There’s no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs.” We talk about how this means we can each take the first little step on our personal staircase. My little steps for the day are finishing my homework and writing letters to the children I sponsor in Guatemala. Very small things, but I’ll be one baby step closer to graduation and I’ll make two little girls 2,000 miles away smile 🙂

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