Post # 1
I have family that will be flying in from Oregon (probably staying a week or so here in Boston as well), driving down from Maine (they are not in the wedding, just guests and will probably be staying overnight at a local hotel the night of the wedding) 2 sets of friends who will be driving several hours to get to my wedding, and the rest of my friends and family are all somewhat close by 45 mins-1.5 hours away maximum).
I am having the hardest time deciding if I should do a Friday or Saturday wedding. I can save around $600 in rental fees if I do a Friday and also more with my DJ if I choose Friday… I am on a budget but at the same time I have the following concerns:
-My guests will have to take the day off from work. Unless I do a later Friday wedding (which I don’t really want)…I want my ceremony to begin around 5..no later!
I don’t really want my guests to have to come after work if they can’t get the day off, and be tired and maybe not enjoy themselves as much as they would on a Saturday night..
I know I would have no time getting the time off from work, since I have a lot of vacacation but I do not know if all of my friends are in the same boat as me…I don’t think it is right to really ask them personally, if they would be willing to take a day off from work for me..these people are not my closest friends, but people I would still like there..
Am I thinking too much about this? Thoughts?
Post # 2
My brother did a Thursday wedding, and we had about 120 people come… Including some after work. (They wanted to get married on the anniversary of their first date and the anniversary of when the proposal was). The ceremony started at 5:30, I think? There were people there nice and late into the night.
One thing that helped their schedule was doing a bit of a first look and photos all ahead of time, so there was only about a half hour of photos at the venue during the cocktail period. That kept the night moving.
Post # 3
I just thought of a few more things….
-Our date is over a year away and STD will be sent out with plenty of notice
-The flower girl will be in the first grade, and I know her mother would make her go to school that day, haha. They would be driving up from Milton about an hour north towards New Hampshire… I am thinking things would get a bit hectic… I feel like I just answered my own question and a Sat. would make more sense..haha.
Post # 4
scurll: As a guest, I hate Friday weddings. My time off is very valuable to me and it seems kind of off putting to have to take a day off. Assuming you work normal hours and have 2 weeks of vacation a year, having your wedding on a Friday will cost me 10% of my vacation. If most of your guests have 9-5, M-F jobs, that is a ton to ask. However if your guests are doctors, nurses, teachers (for summer weddings), or work retail, it coud be fine.
I would look at your guest list and figure out how much of an ask you are making (also keep in mind the spouses of your friends). Keep in mind, for my wedding many people from out of town flew in the night before or even the morning of. Had we had a Friday wedding, about 20 people would not have been able to come (even though they really would have wanted to!)
Post # 5
I went to a Friday wedding (ceremoy at 4 pm ) recently and it was definitely hard to get to. alot of people skipped the ceremony. That being said, I forgot about my annoyance and had a great time at the wedding. But I much, much prefer Saturday weddings. Especially since it doesnt seem like the savings is all that much
Post # 6
Thanks, the majority of my friends work 9-5 jobs, but one of my sisters is a teacher (and this would not be a summer wedding). My other sister and her fiance work in the restaurant industry so Friday and Sats are tough, regardless.
I just know that sometimes when people start new jobs, they don’t always get vacation right away…I myself am really lucky and get 4 weeks per year, and so does my best friend and her bf, and also my fiance.. My mother does not work.. his parents- 1 works at a hospital and sometimes has to work Saturdays if it’s her turn.. the dad is retired.
It’s just a lot to consider..I guess doing it on a Sat would probably be best for everyone..except us since we are the ones paying haha.
Post # 7
I don’t think you’re saving enough to make it worth it to do Friday. My husband has no real vacation time so I’d have to come by myself or be late. Which might mean we’d just decline. Especially since you don’t want to push everything later. So I vote Saturday. You could also consider moving it early on Sunday!
Post # 8
I had a Friday wedding and it was perfect. However, almost all of our guests were local and didn’t have any issue taking some time off from work. They were given over a years notice so it’s not like the date was sprung on them at the last minute. I’ve also attended several Friday wedding and to be honest, I much prefer them to Saturday events. I think that they’re a great way to kick off a weekend and you still have two days to recover/rest/do whatever you normally do on typical days off.
With that said, since you have several guests coming in from out of town, it may be best to go with a Saturday wedding so that they don’t have to take even more time off of work.
Post # 9
JenGirl: yeah..it would be $600 from the venue and I think about $400 from the DJ…so around $1k total..I just keep thinking about what I could do with that $$ haha
Post # 10
scurll: the only weddings I’ve ever declined are Friday weddings because I didn’t have vacation. The only wedding I was late to (and thus missed the ceremony) was a weekday one on July 3.
Have your Friday wedding if budget dictates but expect more declines and people skipping the ceremony.
Post # 11
I went to a close friend’s wedding on a Friday night. Her ceremony (invite time) was 5:00 pm. The wedding was OOT for me so I had to take the entire day off. If I was local I probably would have taken a half day. Some companies don’t allow half days, in fact when she got married my company was only full dayPTO.
I find Friday weddings annoying. Traffic is always heavier on Friday starting around 2:30 pm because people leave early. Coming from work and a work week Friday is my evening to unwind. If you expect people to work a full day, starting your ceremony at 5 pm is too early.
Post # 12
I’ve been to Friday weddings and even a Sunday wedding! I think it’s totally fine. It’s a little inconveient but I understand the couple’s reason for doing a non-saturday.
Personally, my school of thought is if you can’t be bothered to take the day off for our wedding I wouldn’t really want you to be there anyway.
Also not everyone has a traditional schedule. Plenty of people work saturdays, weekends, or extended hours and they would have to take time off for a wedding anyway. You aren’t going to please everyone so please yourself!
Post # 13
I didnt read any of these comments but last year I attended a Friday wedding. It was my cousins and they did on a friday because its cheaper, and they saved a lot of money. She has the same concerns you are having but I told her time after time, if they really want to be there, they will! The people who love you the most will take that time off and be there to share your special day.
Post # 14
I usually hate attending Friday weddings, since you really have to take time off in order to attend anything that’s prior to 5pm. I was a PA for a friends wedding in May, and her ceremony was at 4pm on a Friday. A lot of people didn’t go to teh ceremony due to it.
However, I am actually having my wedding on a Friday… so I definitely went against my thought process. But, our ceremony is small (parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles). Our reception is much bigger and doesn’t start until 6, so this will give people time to get ready after work and come over before dinner is served at 7. It’s also a lot cheaper at our venue – $2,000 less.
Another thing, this will allow us to both visit with family in town on Saturday, so that come Sunday I wouldn’t feel like I wouldn’t get to see some people as much as others – of they have flights leaving, or need to drive home.
Post # 15
scurll: I hate Friday weddings. Friday wedding + traveling FAR distance = me going would depend on how close I am to the bride and groom. Sorry I am just being honest. I get that you are on a budget, but you need to be considerate of your guests.
Have you thought about doing a Sunday wedding instead? I am not a fan of a Sunday wedding, but I would prefer it over a Friday wedding because 1) I don’t have to take off from work 2) I have time to get to the ceremony/reception because I won’t have to 3) rush home to change and drive