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A friday wedding wouldn't be bad but a lot of guests might not come if they have to travel. A lot of people like to use Friday as their travel day so it's hard to say how many guests attend. I think it depends on the group/your family and friends.
You would also have to have it later so local people have time to get after work.
Personally I prefer a Saturday wedding, but that doesn't mean a Friday wedding is BAD. I've been to 2, they were like regular weddings. I was also unable to go to one because it was on a Friday and I couldn't leave work early, so that may effect some of your guests.
From a Friday Night bride, I can give you some pros and cons (my wedding in next month, so this is still pre-wedding advice)
Pros: Cheaper! In our case, by a lot! Night weddings make for a more party-like atmosphere. You also have the rest of your weekend to either a) leave for your honeymoon or b) relax with family. We opted to leave Sunday early morning for our honeymoon to be able to spend more time with the folks who came from out of town.
Cons: You will get comments and there will be people who won't come. In my case, we said no kids because the ceremony is at 7 pm? That part has been a nightmare. People will try to leave work and scramble to be there, and for that reason you might end up with late comers to your ceremony.
For us, the pros considerably outweighed the cons. It's a tough decision to make, that's for sure!
I've been to a Friday night wedding, which was held locally, and it was wonderful! I would've done a Friday night wedding had most of my guests been local (which they're not). I think it's a great way to save money, and still have the weekend left!
As a guest, personally I hate Friday weddings. As a bride I totally understand them :)
I've had a few friends/family opt for a Friday wedding and it was so annoying. I had to scramble to get there from work to be on time. One of my cousins was furious that I didn't take off from work in order to be at her ceremony. Then she pitched a fit when she found out I wasn't planning to go to the reception so I decided to go and then she was mad b/c I came and didn't go to the ceremony. I'm not saying you would be like that, but make sure you have lower expectations of your guests. If they can't come, they can't. If they can come to the reception and not the ceremony and your ok with that, don't give them a hard time when it happens!
We're having a Friday evening reception with a bunch of OOT guests (FH's family), so we're anticipating a large turnout. But our ceremony/reception is also later in the evening (beginning at 6:30), so it gives people a little more time to go home and change after work. Just be aware that you might get smaller numbers because of travel.
I think it depends, how much do you want all of your oot guests to come? I wanted a small wedding, so having a Sunday wedding was good b/c lots of people couldn't make it.
@smith2be: So as a Friday bride - I'm going to respond on this comment - not to attack you in any way personally, but to give the OP the feedback she is asking for. I think your cousin (the bride) was out of line to pitch a fit with you, but I see why she was upset. Her approach was the issue IMO.
When considering a wedding on a Friday, expect people to respond like this poster. Do you think you can handle this? (It personally really upsets me.)
Although I wouldn't say anything to the guest directly, this is the type of behavior that I find completely disrespectful. It's an invitation, not a demand to attend - but it's for a WEDDING, not a party. People who show up to the reception only in my opinion are really rude. I feel like if you can't get the time off to show up on time for the ceremony, you simply should not attend at all. While guests aren't always 'into' the vows, the ceremony is actually the part of the wedding that is the most important and meaningful to the couple. To skip that but show up for food and drinks is just wrong.
@christalynn11: I understand what you are saying about people missing the important part but coming for the "party" but I think when you plan a Friday night wedding you have to be accepting of some of that. These people aren't skipping the ceremony just because they don't want to go; they're missing it due to difficulties getting off work, traffic, getting home and changing, etc (which are due to the time that you chose to have your event). They still want to share in your special day and celebrate with you and are doing so in the only way that is possibile due to their other circumstances.
To the OP: As a guest, I don't like Friday weddings. If I'm OOT, they require me to take extra time off work when I already get an extremely limited number of vacation days to begin with. And even if I'm in town, they just aren't feasible to make it to on time very easily. I don't normally get home from work until 6:00pm so it makes it difficult to change, take the dog out and feed her and get back on the road to make it to an evening wedding, especially one at 6:30pm. DH often has conference calls that run until 6 or 6:30pm, even on Fridays. People can't just skip that kind of thing to make it to a ceremony. I understand the reasons why some brides choose to have Friday night weddings but they do also have to understnad the dificulties it poses to their guests.
We're getting married on a Friday. My date (the next day) was booked THIRTY MINUTES before I got to the venue to book. So we opted for Friday and it turned out to be better all around. Not only is it $10/person cheaper, I get to get in there on Thursday and decorate. The bride getting married on Saturday will not have this option since we'll be there on Friday.
As far as guests complaining of it being on a Friday...complain away. Your snit isn't going to bother me. And since they are not paying for, they have no say.
@Mrs.KMM: I see your point. This is kind of where it gets tricky - and why I pointed out the concept of turning down an invitation. I think if the bride is going to call people and be upset that they miss the day - then the bride should not have been a Friday bride. However, nearly every single bride who chooses a Friday night actually DOES think about the problems it poses for her guests... it's sometimes (as in my case) the only option.
I just feel like if you can't be at the whole thing (i.e. the ceremony and reception) then you should not RSVP 'yes'
I actully like them better because you still have your whole weekend! I feel like saturday weddings take up a whole day and you cant really get much done.
BUT i can see it being a con if you have a lot of OOT guests.
I prefer saturday weddings overall, but in order to save money, I would definitely choose a Friday wedding over a Sunday wedding. I have to go to a Sunday wedding next month in Baltimore and I'm from Buffalo and I kind of find it annoying, but that's just me. I'd say go for the friday wedding, do what's best for you.
Just another thought you might want to consider-
My fiance and I are in our mid twenties and between the two of us were invited to 17 weddings this past year!!! (all but 2 of them required greater than 8 hours of travel) Because of this, we have had quite a lot of time and money spent on car rentals, hotels, and airline tickets and consequently can't afford a honeymoon.
Depending on your age, you may be at that point in your life where "everyone you know is getting married" in the same year. I think good friends will try to sacrifice as much as possible to be at your wedding to help you celebrate (as we did for most of the ones we were invited to). Unfortunately, if we had had to also take a day off of work, the "cost" of our trip would have nearly doubled. As others previously have mentioned, if most of your guests will be local, this might not be a problem. But for us, finances were the biggest factor in whether or not we could make the trip as those plan tickets add up quickly.
I am sure you have already considered the finance issue, but I brought it up because I honestly don't think most people will 'not show up' because of anger that you picked a Friday, but rather because they have limited time off of work, other financial commitments, etc.
Good luck!
Hi,
I definitely think Friday weddings are ok, but we are a bit baised (wink). I would advise to schedule them later in the evening, if possible, so that people don't have to take off an entire day. I personally don't see the big deal with people leaving 1/2 day, especially if you give adequate notice with a save the date. The other thing is weddings are OPTIONAL. No one is forced to attend and those that can and want to make it will do.
We have alot of people that work weekends, so Saturdays/Sundays would have been just as much as an inconvenience. Our Friday happens to be NYE so it worked out well!
As far as guests complaining of it being on a Friday...complain away. Your snit isn't going to bother me. And since they are not paying for, they have no say.
Yeesh, that's a crappy attitude. No one is getting in a "snit," people are giving valid concerns that any guest would have in attending a Friday night wedding. I think your kind of attitude is why a lot of people are put off by Friday night weddings, assuming the bride doesn't care about her guests' comfort or convienence in the least.
I'm getting married on a Sunday because I really needed the discounts and figured a Sunday wedding would be less inconvienent for my guests than a Friday wedding, as half of them are traveling from out of town. I just hate the thought of everyone trying to rush to my ceremony after a full work day.
We thought about a Friday evening reception, but vetoed it since a lot of our guests were OOT. I wish we could have saved the $$ though :P
I think if a lot of your guests are local it's okay. I went to two local Friday weddings this summer and used it as an excuse to take a half day from work, since I have comp time. It was nice because I wasn't rushing. But I think if I'd tried to go straight from work to a wedding I might have been a little resentful of the bride and groom. I will say though that the wedding that started at 7:30 had a much better turnout than the wedding that started at 5:30. So my advice would definitely be to start your ceremony later rather than earlier.
I posted this poll a few weeks ago:
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/friday-night-wedding
and I ended up booking a Friday night is August. I am having a church ceremony at 4:30 and the reception at 7:00. The farthest anyone has to travel is about an hour (with the exception of maybe 2 or 3 that will be flying in). Everyone I have talked to said they were excited for the excuse to take off a Friday in the middle of summer. When making the decision to make the ceremony early I also realized that not eveyone will make it but will still come to the reception and I am totally ok with that. I think it depends on each person and their situation - how far guests have to travel, and if they will be able to get there for your wedding. Otherwise, it is become increasinly more popular because of the savings (and I know it is huge!) so of course I am going to say go for it but as the others have said, dont be disapointed or angry if some people can't make it.
I think there are obvious pro's and con's to having a Friday wedding. I think the biggest thing to consider is whether or not those people you for sure for sure want at the wedding would be able to take a Friday off with reasonable notice. Send the invites out earlier than you would with a Saturday wedding, since more people will need to request time off. If you feel good with a Friday wedding, go for it!
My daughter did in May, and I did (30 years ago, but mine was at 6pm).
The people that want to be there will be there, no matter what time or day it is. I'd personally prefer a Friday evening to a Sunday evening wedding. Who wants to leave early or get home late and have to get up early for work the next day? Even worse if you have to travel far to get home afterwards. I would think people missing a few hours or a half day of work to attend a Friday evening wedding is way more preferable than a Sunday, then travel home and possibly missing a full day of work on Monday.
@lezlers -- I had the whole day off for unrelated reasons so at the time I didn't think anything of it. But in looking back, it does seem really strange because if I'd been at work, I never would have made the ceremony, since Friday traffic around here is hideous.
Regardless of what you want or think, people will do whatever they want, and make exactly the amount of effort they want. I thought that by sending out my STD's in February for my October wedding, some people could save up a bit for plane tickets to come to the wedding, but I had a few claim poverty. Whatever. If it's important, people will make the effort to be there for your wedding, no matter what day it's on. I had a friend who got married at 2:00 on a Wednesday and she had a great turnout. Just goes to show you... :)
@lezlers:
"Yeesh, that's a crappy attitude. No one is getting in a "snit," people are giving valid concerns that any guest would have in attending a Friday night wedding. I think your kind of attitude is why a lot of people are put off by Friday night weddings, assuming the bride doesn't care about her guests' comfort or convienence in the least.
I'm getting married on a Sunday because I really needed the discounts and figured a Sunday wedding would be less inconvienent for my guests than a Friday wedding, as half of them are traveling from out of town. I just hate the thought of everyone trying to rush to my ceremony after a full work day."
Sweetheart, my attitude is anything but crappy. We did consider our guests (GASP!) believe it or not. I am an extremely considerate person. I/we do care about our guests comfort...in no way, shape or form did I say ANYTHING about that. Infact, we care so much for our guest's comfort that we are inviting all OTT guests to rehearsal dinner because we feel that they traveled the day before and we want to have them join us for dinner. We are also giving all of our OTT guests welcome bags so they have a few snacks and goodies while getting ready and/or hanging out in their room. We are also doing a welcome hour from 9-10pm the night before just in case we missed anyone. Oh and did I mention that we also offered to pay for a few OTT guests' plane tickets because we really wanted them to join us!??!?
The day of the wedding - ON FRIDAY, we are providing them with a shuttle bus to and from the reception so no one has to worry about getting lost and/or drinking and driving. So, please refrain from pointing the finger and making accusations when you don't really know.
And who gets married at 5:30pm on a FRIDAY? Not me...because we're getting married at 4pm. WHY? We've always wanted to get married outside and with daylight savings being the following weekend, this is what we chose.
It's what we want. And again, if a guest is upset about it, I'm sorry, we did what we could, but these are just how the cards are falling.
And just like you...we really needed the discounts. Which is why YOU choose Sunday and WE choose Friday. We all have our different reasons.
@christalynn11 - I wasn't trying to insult any Friday brides, I just personally don't like Friday weddings. They are so much of a hassle for me and I wanted to give the OP that feedback. Getting off work at 5 then changing in the bathroom at work, rushing to the ceremony site (fighting rush hour traffic) is not fun. I've wanted to go to every wedding that I was invited to on a Friday but they have all been difficult. I don't have a job that allows ANY leeway on getting off early or even taking days off. Plus if by some miracle I can get off I don't get paid time off. Also I totally hear you on my cousin thing. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it to the ceremony so I rsvp'd no to everything, then I get a call from my aunt saying I had to go to the reception because (cousin) would be pissed if I didn't, so I went and then she complained about that, she was a friday bride that felt everyone should take off the whole day and treat it like Saturday. But even w/o my experience with her, the Friday weddings I've gone too where just stressful given my circumstance.
I was responding to the attitude espoused in your initial post, specifically, using phrases like "snit" to describe people's honest responses to the OP's question and seeming disregard of any of your guests' potential issues with phrases like "no money, no say." All we have to go on is what you post so excuse the hell out of me if I didn't know every detail of your planned hospitality campaign. By the tone of your response, however, I think I was spot on with my comment about your attitude as it is way out of proportion with what I originally posted.
In other words, calm down sweetheart, you can have your wedding whenever and wherever you want, no one is trying to force you to anything you don't want to. Yeesh is right.
Thank you all for the responses!
We were thinking about Friday at 7pm and then the reception from 8-11pm.
Saturday were were going to have a wedding brunch and then go rest and hang out with friends.
@smith2be: Not remotely offended :) I think your comments were helpful to the OP, I was mostly playing the Friday night bride perspective to your Friday night guest! :)
@LuvMySailor: Same here - Ceremony is at 7 with the reception to follow immediately. Same location, no gap. We are doing a first look so the guests aren't waiting forever for us - and more importantly, to eat! I'll come back after my wedding next month and give you real life feedback in a recap! :)
@lezlers:
I was responding to the attitude espoused in your initial post, specifically, using phrases like "snit" to describe people's honest responses to the OP's question and seeming disregard of any of your guests' potential issues with phrases like "no money, no say."
As far as guests complaining of it being on a Friday...complain away. Your snit isn't going to bother me. And since they are not paying for, they have no say
Let's just clarify, Lezlers, that when I used the word 'snit' in the sentence above, I was not referring to bees posting on this thread at all...I was referring to guests getting annoyed about brides having a wedding on a Friday. Okay?!
In my last post to you, I was merely defending myself against your accusations. You would've done the same thing. So again, enough. You don't know anything about me or my wedding and same goes with me for you. I've seen other comments that you have posted yesterday and maybe you should listen to your own advice at times.
Toodles.
In my case, my venue had no saturdays left for 2011, so we had to choose a Friday or Sunday. We chose Friday because we know our guests will partake in drinking and wanted it to be on the weekend. Also, it was NOT that much cheaper for us to have it on a Friday. We saved maybe a few hundred dollars.
I've been to one Friday wedding and my experience was that a lot of people left early becasue they were tired after a long work week. It depends on your crowd though. If you have a lot of people traveling I would say do a Saturday wedding if you want them to be there otherwise it means taking off of work, school, etc.
Ah, I see, your totally over-the-top response was really in response to other posts I've made on this board you don't like that have nothing whatsoever to do with what I've posted here. I'm flattered I have a fan.
Ciao!
I had a Friday night wedding and it was fine. You just have to understand that not as many people would be able to make it and some people did end up missing the ceremony because of traffic. we would have done a Saturday wedding but our venue wouldn't let us do the ceremony there on Saturday.
@lezlers: Who has a Friday night wedding at 5:30??? Egads
Ummmm....we are. EGADS! 80% of our 60 guests are out of town, and will most likely already be in town for at least one day before our ceremony, because they will have to fly in for the wedding. We took every single guest in to consideration before deciding on a Friday, and every single person we talked to had no qualms about a Friday wedding. Not all weddings or situations are created equal. We chose that time specifically because by the time the ceremony is over, and people drive from the church to the reception, it will be probably 6:30pm, if not a bit later. We have the reception venue from 6:30pm-11:30pm, so there ya go.
As for the OP, obviously I am biased because we're having a Friday wedding. We are the ones paying for it, and the savings was significant enough that it wasn't really a hard choice for us. People will be there if they want to be, and are able to be. And if not? Then that sucks, but we'll understand. Just be sure to let people know well enough in advance that it is not on a Saturday (like we have) and you should be fine.
Personally, I think Friday weddings are a fine idea, especially if you want an evening wedding. I'd much rather go to a local wedding on a Friday night than a Sunday night. It gives me the weekend to rest if need be.
I'm having a Thursday night wedding, so I think Friday nights are just fine too! :-)
Ultimately, though, I think you have to know your guest list and determine yourself if it's going to be "fine" or not. We are having a super-small wedding (it's the second time around for both of us), with JUST our immediate family members, and we've decided to get married in the town closest to the bulk of both of our families. I mean, we are still going to have some family members who are having to do a long drive, but most of those particular members are retired. We are giving everyone else waaaaaay advance notice so that they can make plans accordingly.
I know that it might be "inconvenient," but for our guest list, we also know that they wouldn't miss this day for anything. And we're getting married in DC in June...with a guest list of 40, there's absolutely NO way we'd be able to meet the food and beverage minimums for an evening ceremony, cocktail hour, and dinner reception at any of the venues we like on a Saturday night. The venues flat-out wouldn't book us. But for a Thursday night? Man, we're getting a great deal! I'm actually pretty pleased with my negotiating. :-)
But for larger weddings and guest lists that include extended family and friends/acquaintences with whom you're not terribly close, you may find that people choose not to come because of the timing. I guess it depends on how YOU feel about that. IMO, brides these days are looking at different days and different venues and different reception styles to stay within a reasonable budget, and I wouldn't be surprised or put out if I were to get an invitation for a Friday wedding.
@lezlers: your guests will have to take Monday off to travel back home.
I'm really sick of hearing about how inconvenienced a guest feels. Its not YOUR day. You can decline the invite!! I'm planning a wedding and I am up almost everynight worrying about what other people are going to think and I'm sick of it. Unless you're signing a check that is paying for the wedding, its not your concern.
Wedding cost A LOT of money--talk about an "inconvenience". It really irks me that I will have guests that are unsatisfied with my date, my church, my venue, my flowers, or even my dress!
You are invited to CELEBRATE. If you are going to complain- DON'T COME.
We originally planned a Saturday wedding, but due to venue availability, we had to move it to a Friday. About half our guests were from out of town, and I really don't think it impacted attendance at all. I would just suggest to you to have it in the evening; our wedding started at 6 p.m. so people could just leave work a little early if they had to. Most of our out of town guests flew in Friday morning to make it, so they only missed one day of work. I'll be doing the same thing for a friend of mine in October and I don't mind taking one day off at all!
@jennifer.master: True about the Sunday travel. Just proves that there will be inconveniences relate to any day of the week you may choose to hae your wedding.
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Hi Bees!
FI and I want to get married sooner than September 2011. We were thinking May 2011.
To save money, we were pondering a Friday evening wedding and reception. Is this a good idea??? Have you ever been to one?
I've a friend whose brother married last Sunday. But my church and family being Baptist...hehehehehe that wouldn't work.