Post # 1
I have a not-close friend who came over once late last year with her bf, whom I had never met. They came for a cup of tea. During this visit, she asked about our wedding plans and my fiance said “hope you can make it” or something in passing. I was not cool with that as we are having a tiny wedding (30 people) and she’s not close. But it didn’t bother me as I knew she was moving to Mexico for a while and figured she wouldn’t be able to make it.<br /><br />Anyway, she moved to Mexico in January, and just posted on FB that she’d be back to our hometown soon, i.e., 2 weeks before my wedding. I think we had one short FB convo this entire year (I wrote “hey did you make it Mexico” and she responded “yep”). Anyway, I liked the status and she then messaged me “Did I miss the wedding?”<br /><br />I haven’t responded yet. <br /><br />As I mentioned, my wedding is 30 people, so only family and very close friends, as in the type of people who send me more than a one-word message over a period of 6 months, people who are close enough to know whether my wedding has taken place. But my fiance did sort of imply that she and her BF would be invited. Still, she is not–and anyway, the wedding is in early June and the RSVP duedate has passed. Which she wouldn’t know as we aren’t close and she didn’t get an invite.<br /><br />So now I am wondering if I should just ignore the message or whether I should respond and tell her it’s just close friends and family, or something else, like “oh, I thought you’d still be in Mexico. Sorry, but we’ve already finalised everything and don’t have room to add extra guests” or something else. The icing on the cake is that I am inviting a guy I met at one of her parties a few years ago that I have since become pretty good pals with. <br /><br /><br />
Post # 2
Cordellia: I’d just reply and say – ‘nope not yet, still a few weeks to away’ and she should (well, normal people would) get the idea that she is not invited…
Post # 3
Lollybags: Alas, she’s a little slow on the uptake. I think she would respond to that asking for details–or see it as a confirmation.
Post # 4
Cordellia: Well in that case perhaps you could stretch the truth a bit and say ‘not yet, still a few weeks to go. We had to change our plans and have a really small and intimate wedding in the end, the cost of a bigger event was just getting out of hand.’
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2014 - Villa Celeste
I’ve had the same problem. I’m also having a 30 person wedding. Ironically a destination in Mexico haha. But anyway, I’ve had some people assume that they are invited which is bizzarre to me as they’re people I rarely speak to. Once you have a party going on, people seem to flock.
I would just be honest. She’s going to find out about it eventually, especially if you decide to put pictures on FB. I would just simply tell her that everything has esentially been finalized, and that you’re only having family and very close friends. But I’d leave it on a positive note, and change the subject. Ask her how she’s doing. I find that most people find the let down to be easier if you continue on the conversation. Either way, I wouldn’t budge. This is your day, and you don’t want her there.
Post # 6
Cordellia: I had a very similar issue. It’s so bizarre to me that people assume they are invited! I was just honest and said, “we’re having a very intimate wedding with immediate family and a couple of our closest friends only. ”
Post # 7
I just want to point out that she really has done nothing wrong and she isn’t assuming she is invited – your FI TOLD her she was when he said, “hope you can make it”. That IS an invitation. The only one who made a gaff here is him. Why don’t you make him fix this mess?