(Closed) Friend assumes she is MOH

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

This situation is such a pain! It happened to me too. My mother let it slip that I had chosen another friend as Maid/Matron of Honor. The girl that thought she was going to be given that role ended up backing out from being a bridesmaid and eventually decided she’d rather not be my friend at all anymore. It’s crazy how choosing a bridal party can make or break your friendships! I wonder if guys ever have this much trouble picking their groomsmen! 
I would definitely suggest letting this friend of yours know sooner rather than later that she will not be Maid/Matron of Honor. The longer she assigns herself this title, the more upset she’ll be when you finally break the news.

Post # 6
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Awww…., it’s sad when this happens. If you had two sisters near your age, you could just pick them and be done with it. I feel people pretend that they don’t know where they are in the heirarchy of your life/friendships. I would never PRESUME to be someone’s Maid/Matron of Honor when I know that they are much closer to their sister or something. Even my bestie, we are not each other’s Maid/Matron of Honor because, well, sisters trump friends! Close sisters that is.

Post # 7
3068 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

This happened to me too. My good friend kept hinting and set up all the dress apoointments and everything. Finally she asked, am I your MOH? I just told her the truth, that my Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister.

Post # 8
30 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree that it’s better to go ahead and let her know that you appreciate her friendship and her excitement about your wedding, but that you’ve already chosen someone else for your Maid/Matron of Honor. If she doesn’t end up being a bridesmaid, is there any other way she could be involved in your wedding? (Although if she’s flaky you may not want her to be!)

Post # 9
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sorry this is happening to you. It’s never fun when you’re put into an awkward position like this. I agree with everyone else- let her know before it gets too out of hand!

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