Friend being a bridesmaidzilla

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1584 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@mrsuseless:  First of all, is the wedding date you have listed your real wedding date? Because if so, you have almost two years, and she has over two and a half years to plan this wedding, and I guarantee your visions are likely to change. I personally wouldn’t even recommend buying a dress at this stage, it’s too early!

If you feel this way about her now, the feeling is likely only going to intensify by the time your wedding rolls around in two years. It’s still quite early to have a bridal party picked out, so I’d say you still have room to make changes!

Post # 5
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I honestly think you guys should talk it through, perhaps there are things that you might not be aware you’re doing and could be pissing her off and vice versa. I hate to see friendships fall apart because of weddings. 

A friend of mine was planning her wedding around the same time as mine as well, hers was a few months ahead of mine and a few things (decor wise) that I was doing for my wedding that I mentioned to her she ended up doing without asking me but I let it slide because ultimately my friendship with her was more important.

Post # 6
2115 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This is crazy.

My best friend and I planned our weddings together as well, and we totally shared and swapped ideas and neither of us would have any issue whatsoever with using similar ideas…

It’s not like either of your weddings in any way takes away from the other one’s…it just plain doesn’t. That’s silly.

Post # 7
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@mrsuseless:  She sounds jealous and petty and I would involve her in my wedding planning as little as possible. Have your MOH or another bridesmaid attend fittings with you, and keep your friend on a need-to-know basis. That is, you tell her which dresses you picked out for the BNs and when to show up for a fitting. 

Now, what I really think you should do is try to talk to her about it. Call her out, just plain out say “I noticed that you said you hated the lace dress I tried on. Did you say that because you didnt want me to get a dress that has lace like yours?” That way she knows the jig is up and she isn’t fooling you. Even if she denies it, she may think twice about doing that again. What a terrible friend!

Post # 8
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’ve learned that people get really weird during wedding planning… try to clear the air as much as possible, but ultimately if you want to stay friends with her, you’ll have to let it go.

(btw, I’m so sorry your having to go through this… just keep reminding yourself that after it’s all said and done, decorations and dresses won’t matter, your marrying the love of your life and ultimately that’s THE most important thing, everything with your friend will smooth out once you both take off your wedding goggles Smile)

Post # 9
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Your friend sounds immature, seriously. Purposefully steering you away from things that she wants? Come on. Yes it’s a big, huge, important, amazing day in your life, but it is ONE DAY in your life. On your 25th anniversaries, no one is going to remember how you two had similar dresses, or BM dresses – if you get married in the same year, there’s a good chance there will be overlap, because that’s how trends work. If you want the lace dress, OP, get the lace dress. If she whines, complains, or becomes a total monster, evaluate her place in your life. I’m not usually one to advocate kicking people out of wedding parties and whatnot, but seriously, she does not sound mature enough to handle this situation. Sit down and talk with her and see what happens – but be prepared for a change in the friendship.

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