Friend Being kicked out!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Eh, what a sticky situation. I would suggest she go talk to her mom. My mother is the EXACT same way, I’m wondering if she just needs time to cool down?

Or if that isn’t an option, offer to help her apartment hunt. 

Post # 4
Member
5016 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Honey2002:  I would say it is time for her to get her own place. If she is completely independent, there is no reason she should still be living at home. I would offer to help her apartment hunt and talk about how nice it is to live independently and on your own.

Post # 5
Member
6032 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Agreed with pp, if your friend is in her 30’s then it’s time for her to get her own place. Offer her your sofa for a couple of weeks if she needs it, but make it clear that it’s not a permanent arrangement, and offer to help her find an apartment or a rental house.

Post # 6
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@Honey2002:  If she is independent like you say she is, she should be able to find a place/live on her own.  Especially since she’s in her 30s.

Post # 7
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi @Honey2002:  As this is your DEBUT Post on WBee… a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”

I have been in the shoes of your Friend’s Mother… DIVORCE SUCKS !!

It is very complicated… and messy.  A collection of intense feelings tied up in one’s Past, being in LOVE, having kids, money, etc etc etc

The longer one is married, the harder it is to overcome.  So I truly do feel for this woman.

Your Friend might find it hard to understand that her Mom is “not the person she’d like her to be” right now (I am betting the Mom barely recognizes herself now, and isn’t the person she wants to be or is proud of either right now).

Your GF can make this better.

She needs to communciate with her Mom… even if that is by email… the following:

That she is a Daughter born out of LOVE between two people… Her Mom & Dad.  And that may be in the past now… but it was what it was at the time… and a great thing happened because of it.  Her.

She will forever be the child of both of them.  And that is going to be hard for her going forward.  She is confused too.  And hurting as well in her own way.

She needs to tell her Mom that she cannot make it all alright either.  She’s been devastated as well.  And that has suffered a BIG Loss as well… the loss of HER FAMILY as she knew it to be.

She also needs to say what you put in your note above:

my friend also does NOT like the new wife and does NOT want to live with her father ever

That won’t be the salve to cure all… but it will reassure the Mom that her Daughter isn’t going to be lost to her as well by going to go live with her Dad and his NEW Wife.

Hope this helps


Post # 8
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Offer to help her find a place and move, that’s what she needs. 

Post # 9
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Honey2002:  If your friend is in her 30s and working, why is she acting like her only options are living with one of her parents?  Time to grow up and be an adult.

Post # 10
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

She definitely needs to be finding her own place, since she’s in her 30s and independant financially.

Post # 11
Member
3598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

She needs to get her own place.  I don’t know why anyone is even thinking she’d stay with you, with her dad, or elope with the boyfriend.  None of those options are how I think a rational woman in her 30s operates.  

Post # 12
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I totally agree with almostmrsj !

Post # 13
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

+1 to everyone suggesting she get her own place. Unless I am completely missing something that is the only logical choice.

Honestly, she seems very immature if the only options she’s considering is living with either set of parents or immediately moving in with her boyfriend of a few months.

Post # 14
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

You should offer her a place to stay while she looks for her own apartment. She is in her 30s, it’s time to cut the cord from her horrible mother and start a new independent phase of her life.

Post # 15
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Honey2002:  I would help your friend get her own apartment, and if you want, offer her your couch for a few weeks.  She is 30, not 13, so she has options outside of living with her parents.

Post # 16
Member
3598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Bazinga:  What if she’s not as independent as the OP says she is and never wants to leave?

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