Friend didn't have to wait

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2694 posts
Sugar bee



Post # 4
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

DH proposed to me less than 8 months of dating. I didn’t mind at all; I knew I wanted to marry him very early on. Planning was completely fine, and we had a long engagement so there was plenty of time to figure everything out. 

Post # 5
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Huh.  I’m not a “waiting” type of person and see no value in it.  When we knew we wanted to marry each other, we did so.  

Post # 6
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

To each their own. I never heard of the term ‘waiting’ until I saw it on the ‘bee. Each couple has their own timeline. 

Post # 7
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I had also never heard of “waiting” before the bee and never experienced it myself but I can understand your logic. Like looking forward to a vacation. Glad you’re happy about where you are with your relationship! Enjoy your anticipation!

Post # 8
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would never “wait.” If we know we want to marry each other then there’s no point in waiting. 

Post # 9
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Yeah, I didnt know waiting was a thing until I came to the bee.  I think a proposal is a proposal and is special whether or not you’ve been obsessing over it or annoying the hell out of your SO

Post # 10
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@lesliesmithson:  I’m sorry but I think posts like these are really harmful and do nothing but pit women against each other. Whether you have to “wait” or not, who cares? One proposal isn’t better than another just because you did or did not have to wait. 

I’m happy that you’re really digging the situation you’re in, but insinuating that your proposal will be better or that you’re somehow a better person for having to “wait” is nonsense, and also sets really high expectations that usually leads to all the “I’m disappointed in my proposal” posts I see on these boards. 

Like other PPs, the idea of “waiting” was foreign to me before joining the Bee. Aren’t we all basically “waiting” once we find the one we love? 

Whether you’re waiting or not, whether you’ve been together for 6 months or 16 years, everyone’s proposal and relationship is special and unique to them and them only. Stop comparing yourself to other women! Be happy for everyone, including your friend! Be strong enough to be truly, unselfishly happy for someone else!

Post # 10
896 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

This is such a strange and sad post to me. Once FI and I knew, we knew and didn’t mess around. This life is so short, and isn’t a dress rehearsal. I worry about the bees whose SO’s have been holding onto a ring or dangling bait for many months or even years. I don’t like that you ladies feel like you have to “shut it up” in hopes of speeding along a proposal. It just seems shitty.

Post # 12
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

FI and I technically “waited” – we held off on getting a ring and announcing our engagement until after I met his out of country parents – by mutual decision. I don’t think it improved or took away from my experience. I can’t see how it would. We were two adults who decided to get married, and then we got a ring and started booking stuff.

You can still pick up new hobbies and learn about yourself after engagement as well, so your friend hasn’t missed that boat.

Post # 13
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Proposed to on our one year dating anniversary.  Total surprise.  Didn’t know I should’ve been waiting?  I had no idea!  I’m glad nobody held marriage or a ring over my head,that I didn’t have to “shut it up”,  and that I wasn’t even thinking about “is he going to ask me”.  I’m glad that I was enjoying our relationship without fretting over if/when it would happen.

I highly doubt your proposal will be any better or any more special than mine just because you’re knowingly waiting.  And, I certainly did not feel a need to be engaged or propsed to.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Ellicott.
Post # 14
7188 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

My DH proposed to me after 6 months of dating, and we were married after 10 months of dating. I was so happy to be engaged to him, and now I’m so happy to be his wife.

What your friend is feeling is her experience, not everyone else’s who didn’t have to “wait”.

Post # 15
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

lesliesmithson:  I never knew such things ” waiting” until I joined the Bee anywho to each their own. My So propose to me 9 months into our  relationship I had no idea he was going to make me his wife. He propose in 2011 next year we will be one as hubby and wife. Just be happy for your friend 

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