(Closed) Friend got engaged and I hate that I'm so jealous

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

I feel for ya!  boyfriends younger brother recently got engaged…so painful to hear about all the “wedding planning” during the holiday!!! 

Post # 4
Member
8884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Oh this is totally normal, I have been there.  I am sure some of my friends felt that way when I got engaged.  One day it will be your turn! πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

Totally normal!

A girl I work with just booked off time at Christmas to get married and she just got engaged on Friday. I definitely felt the green eyed monster come out when she told me.

Post # 8
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@cali_cat:  I think it’s perfectly normal to feel that way, maybe you should talk to her, or to another friend or someone close. But having said that try to focus on how great it will be when it’s your turn πŸ™‚ that always helps πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think it’s completely natural. 

I had a friend who emailed me after my engagement saying that she’s been depressed ever since she heard about it.  She and her ex broke up about 8 month before hand, and she had been taking it hard.

I told her that while I understood how she felt, I really am not the person to talk to about this.  She appologized and sine then we’ve been fine πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Yeah, completely 100% normal. I was so happy for my friends who got engaged a bit before we did, but I was so envious it actually upset me! I kept telling myself I shouldn’t be feeling so envious of my friend, but I couldn’t help it!

Post # 11
Hostess
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

totally normal, I think that is pretty much everyone’s natural reaction.  But you have to suck it up and put on a happy face and congratulate her…see her…gush over the ring and details becasue when it is YOUR turn I’m sure you would want the same!

Post # 12
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Been there….while waiting for my proposal, THREE friends got engaged.  It was really hard for me, and I just felt awful because I was truly happy for my friends.  I just was on this crazy emotional rollercoaster during the waiting time. 

It’s normal!  And I told my friends later, after I’d gotten engaged that I was jealous, and we had a good laugh about it.  πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I think it’s normal, or at least I’ve been there and done that. My friend got engaged while SO and I were celebrating our 2 year anniversary and I wasn’t just jealous, I was angry.  They hadn’t been dating as long as we had, this was her first serious boyfriend ever, etc.  It made me jealous of her and wonder what was wrong with me- I think it’s natural.

If you feel jealous, be jealous.  But that is your problem and not your friend’s problem so I wouldn’t talk to her about it.  I put on my happy face and threw her an engagement party bc that is what I would want a friend to do for me in that situation and no one knew how devastated I was on the inside (besides SO and BFF) now I’m just waiting for my turn! πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

I think us on the waiting list have been in your shoes.  Especially since it’s a friend one was once close to. 

When I read my former friend got engaged I was hypo and couldn’t sit still (and no it wasn’t because I was thrilled for her) I called my sister and had a bitch session.   Though when I catched up with my former friend a month later I turned on my community acting skills and pretended to be interested, asking the right questions.  Oooing and arghing over the ring and the proposal.   The proposal was planned and she knew about it (like wth) even down to the exact time. 

Though I was completely happy for my other friends to be engaged some not as long as my relationship but I find it strange to have the jealous feelings for one particular person.  Maybe because I think she didn’t deserve it especially after she boasted that when her husband was out of the house, she found the engagement ring and wore it until he came back to the house and she would put it back in it’s hiding place. 

God I feel like a bitch Frown but you might get over it with your friend.   Just be there for her.

Post # 16
Member
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@cali_cat:  Just remind yourself that being engaged is NOT the measure of a successful relationship.  It can be hard to remember this because our society paints women who are getting married as the “winners.”

It’s kind of like how having a BMW in the garage doesn’t mean your financially successful.  Maybe you are, but maybe you just have a crap load of debt.  

Anyway, good luck to you!  We all know how you feel.  At the end of the day, I’m sure you’d never want to switch shoes with your friend, so YOU are really the lucky one! πŸ˜€

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