(Closed) "Friend" got my *same* e-ring… Not thrilled

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

haha yes, that would annoy me!! its weird! that said, its a huge compliment. what does the ring look like?

Post # 5
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Can you post a picture of your ring? Unless your ring is pretty out there or unique I think this is a non issue. Like if it’s a halo or a solitare I don’t see the issue. But if you have a pear halo or a heart diamond or something that is out of the norm then yes I’d be annoyed. Not saying the feeling is altogether justified, but you can’t help how you feel. 

Post # 6
Member
2164 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I feel like you may get flamed for this, b/c I’ve seen too many posts criticizing bees at every opportunity….BUT I totally agree with you! That’s just insane and weird! I’d be very peeved, but remind yourself that they’re just that pathetic-they had to copy your ring and couldn’t dare pick something out themselves. I’d never want something on my hand if I knew someone already had the same one, that’s just bizarre. Is she going to copy your wedding dress too?! I’ve always had a huge issue with copy cats-I feel your pain ๐Ÿ™ I know it’s catty, but I wouldn’t hold back a comment regarding it the next time you see her. I’d probably say something like “Wow, you must have REALLY wanted something else I already had” ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 8
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

I guess that yes, it would aggravate me, but there isn’t much you can do about it. Everyone’s tastes are unique, but generally you’re not going to have the same thing as other people unless you go for a 100% customized look.

Post # 9
Member
14317 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It sounds like a pretty common ring – 3 stone tulip setting.  I dont think it’s a big deal as long as its not some crazy unique setting.  Half my friends have the same type setting as mine – solitare on a pave band.  No compares and notices if they are identical or not when its such common a ring. 

Post # 10
Member
2098 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

UGH! I would be SOOOOOOO annoyed. I’ve had friends over the years copy all sorts of stuff. Even had a family member steal a name of a future baby. Yep. She did that. That’s why I say nothing to anyone anymore! I’m not sure I’ll have children so whatever. 

Here’s why I would feel annoyed:

Someone took something intimate & personal of yours & made it their own. 

I don’t like when people say it should feel like a compliment. No. A compliment is “You have great hair” or “Your FI is a handsome man”. A compliment is not a rip off. And that’s what happened. Sure, other women might have similar rings with a tulip setting but it wouldn’t be YOUR ring. You know what’s really going on so just follow your gut. 

As far as your MOH not validating your feelings… She doesn’t have to share your opinions. Let her have her own. Just don’t talk to her about this. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m sorry, Girl. I get it!

 

Post # 11
Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@Beijocanaboca:  That’s a tough one. Maybe you can get your two side stones switched out for your birthstone or something, just to make a statement that you’d like to be unique. I’d be highly annoyed, but how do you address something like that? You could say something, but it’s not like they’re going to go back and change it. And it’ll just make things awkward for your future get-togethers. I do sympathize.

Post # 12
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Actually, I had a very similar thing happen.

I had my diamond reset several years ago in a Scott Kay 3 stone setting.  3 stone settings are not uncommon, but this one was rather unusual (at the time) because it was a delicate trellis setting with surprise diamonds on the side.

One of my friends saw it and went nuts.  She said she had been looking for a new setting for a long time and never considered a 3 stone ring until she saw mine.  A few months later she had her diamond reset into my exact setting.  She had a similar sized diamond too so it did look like we had the identical ring.

The way I looked at it, there are soooo many settings out there that it’s really tough to find one that you absolutely love (at least it was tough for me).  The fact that my friend loved the same one I did says nothing about her lack or creativity or her wanting to copy me.  We both had great taste ๐Ÿ™‚  In fact, I was flattered that she liked my ring so much that she wanted the same thing.

I understand this would be slightly annoying to you, but honestly blow it off.  I would not have said anything to the MOH.  I think it made you look kind of bridezilla-ish to be honest.

Post # 13
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yea, that’s kinda weird that they would want that. I’d be sort of put off, but I don’t think I’d dwell on it much. Don’t get mad at your MOH for not agreeing with you 100%, you mentioned your frustration to her with hopes that she would validate your feelings and she gave you her opinion, which wasn’t exactly what you were hoping for-not a good reason to be frustrated with her. I have an idea of the ring you have because I’ve seen that type of setting and style, if it’s the one I’m thinking about it’s very pretty and you are a lucky girl! I think it makes them look silly, you were the original beholder of the ring, so if they want to play copycat it just makes them look odd.

Post # 14
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Beijocanaboca:  It would aggravate me, but there isn’t much you can do about it. You don’t see them *that* often, you had the ring first, etc. Let her enjoy it. If you want a relationship w. her you better stop mentioning it.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery…

Post # 15
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Beijocanaboca:  sounds pretty! completely agree. id feel the same. lame-o!!

Post # 16
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I wouldn’t be aggrivated in the slightest bit.

It’s a compliment to your ring. And obviously other people are wearing the same ring as you are if it’s mass produced and unless he or your fiance bought it custom made or from a small shop that only made one, chances are many other people have that ring as well.

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