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I would first see if you could get any money back from the airline yourself. Then I would ask her directly to pay (either for the total cost, or for whatever remaining money you couldn't get back if you are able to get a partial refund.) Don't wait for her to offer- tell her that she owes you the money and keep telling her until she pays. However if she does pay and the airline offers you a credit to use some other time, it would only be right for you to give her that credit. If she refuses to pay then you should keep the credit.
I don't understand why you were paying for her and her BF in the first place.
Explain that the tickets are non refundable and while you understand she had to cancel, you'd appreciate being paid back for the money you are out. Is the hotel room non refundable too?
(p.s. I voted for "give it a week" because that's the closest to my opinion, but I really think you shouldn't wait at all. Ask her for the money now. Go to court if you don't get it eventually.)
I think as most posters on the prior thread advised, you need to contact her and ask for the money ASAP. Don't wait for her to offer - I don't think it's happening :)
Use whatever you usually do to communicate with her - phone, email, etc. I think writing her to lay out your request clearly and sans emotions, and then following up with a phone call would be most effective. Don't get into the details of whose fault it is etc - just say something like "I am sorry you won't be able to attend. Since you are not coming and using the airline tickets for yourselves, would you please send me a check for the airfare?"
PS You should put an option in the poll for "contact her now"
I would wait a few days to let this cool down, and then email her and tell her that she needs to pay you back. Usually airlines will let you change a flight, but not the name of the passenger, so you won't be able to use them for yourself - therefore she needs to pay you back and change them into something she can use.
I can not get the money back from airlines...all non refundable....I paid for them because it's a DW. I paid for all my guest. I only paid for BF because she would not have been able to go without him, he's controlling. I think they assume that since I had the money to do this that I can afford to eat it. This is NOT true. I'm taken a huge finacial burden by doing this and resent that they are taken my generousity for granted. I know their arguement is going to be why should we repay the airfare when it was a gift. Thats' true...but because I booked their room I incurred anextra cost 1000 bringing the totall of their trip to =2600. I had to get a extra room because he is a BIG man and couldnt share a roll out bed like the other guest. They are all sharing. That is 2600 that I wouldnt have spent if that had not been invited so yes they do need to replay me some of it...hell at least display some sort of real genuine emotion.
there's no option for asking her point-blank for your money ASAP. No jokes, no kidding around.
Besides no way she can pay it rght away she doesnt even work...he does.
Can you see if the airline will let you change the ticket to another name? And then maybe change it into a voucher for future travel for you? Or can she take her son but leave him with a friend for the weekend while she attends the wedding? With the ex approval of course.
I don't think you can get your money back unless she wants to. Morally sure, but legally she doesn't have to. There was no agreement that this was a loan or that it would be repaid. I'm certain that's what small claims would say. Either way you were out the money, it just sucks it's not being used in the way it was intended. I would work with the airline and see what options they have for you. And write her off of course. You should still ask for the money from her and maybe you'll at least get half.
Ugh. This sucks, and I think you should just talk to her. I don't think you have an actual claim for small claims court though. As Talishazwi said, morally she needs to pay you back. Legally, I think it'll be treated as a gift. Call the airline and see if anyone at all can be done. I've been able to change nonrefundable tickets into credits.
Wait, isn't this person your FI's friend? I thought I read that in your original thread...if so, I think he's being unfair to you to just give up on something that important to you & force YOU to deal with HIS friend. I'd have a talk with him about how you're feeling unsupported in this situation & you'd really like him to have your back - I mean, isn't that part of what marriage is about?
That being said, I agree with PPs that you should contact her ASAP & let her know that you can afford/are willing to wait for her to pay you back. Give her the condition that if paying you back takes longer than a month, you'd like an agreement between the two of you as to when to "due date" is. This will give you more ammo in small claims court, should it come to that. You say that you "know their argument is going to be why should we repay the airfare when it was a gift." If it were me, I'd come back with, this gift is different from other forms of gifts...this gift is one that is for SPECIFIC use, not something they can return if it duplicates or if they just decide they don't want anymore. Tickets & rooms for your DW is specific to that use...if they're not going to use the gift for its intended purpose, then they should return it to you or repay you. This "gift" is more like scholarship money...the government awards people money for school, & doesn't expect repayment if it's used for schoool. But if the student decides to take a year off or go to community college instead, the student doesn't get to keep the scholarship money...it gets reverted back to the government or scholarship institution.
Good luck...and please consider talking to your FI about how he's treating you by leaving you in the lurch on this one.
Sadly this airfare was with Delta..no way they will work with us. I hate this airline. Yeah I think he should be handling this and not making me stress out about it when I'm handling all the wedding stuff as it is. Honestly I think I can get past the money, deep breath here. It's her attitude that really has me mad. I really feel as though now that she cant go she doesnt have to pretend to care. That it was all for show to free load a vacation. Fi is really rubbing me wrong too on this the more time passes too. He really should be the one stepping up and saying either pay us back monthly or we're not friends anymore. This whole thing stinks but I wont let it ruin the wedding. I'm already emotionally stressed to the max. Throw in that I have to have all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled along with a scaling deep clean next week ( 3500 I wasnt prepared for ) 6 weeks out of my wedding date in between my training sessions ...ugh.
Have you called the airline and tried talking with them? My old job involved booking flights for a professional hockey team and sometimes I would have to change the names on tickets although the tickets were 'non refundable'. If you just tell them the situation they may be willing to do this for you? Don't take no as an answer from the first person you talk to. I'm sure you've already tried this, but if not, good luck!
I tried....they said no...and tried with manager, they said no..it's Delta...they suck.
Hmm... I think you've learned a valuable lesson here. Don't be so nice!
I read in your other post that you are "going broke" paying for everyone to be there.
WHY are you doing that? It doesn't sound like you can afford to be so generous. Especially when people are going to be flaky.
I don't mean to sound harsh, I'm really just curious about why you would extend yourself so far if you're not in the position to do so :(
Because I'm nice and she is the only friend to take advantage of this. I shouldn't have said yes but I'm stupid I guess. All the others are paying me back later what they can afford of their ticket as they can. Most will pay half ,a few none depending on their work income. She always said she would pay back some of it, just not a set amount. The rooms I wasn't stressing about since most them were going to stay 4 to to room. However since he is so big he couldnt fit into a double bed so that threw out that option . My friend who works as a fast food cashier was so upset by this she wouldnt let me pay for her BM dress like I planned. Thats a friend..she cared !I know if I send her a check she wont cash it.
Backstory...why I'm paying for my friends..I wont be broke but I wont have extra money like I would if I wasn't having this wedding. One went thru a painful divorce with a cheating husband of 24 years last year, the other friends child passed away last year after a life long childhood disease, the other friend has a painful health auto ammune disease, the other went thru a painful divorce as well last year, other my sister who is seriously depressed, other my best friend of 9 yrs so she's on my tab since she unemployed atm and also seriously depressed..and us...the rest locals...they had the most expensive tickets of us all..besides our tickets.
last year sucked for most all us ...
Well the only other thing I think to try is to contact your credit card company (if you used a credit card). See if they can some how cancel the order or credit you. I don't know if that would work. I don't know how long ago you purchased the tickets. Since you were the one to buy the tickets, could you at least get Delta to consider them invalid, so she couldn't go and use them in the future? (That would at least give you the last laugh if she was really trying to bum a vacation off of you.)
I think if more people offered to completely pay their guests way, more people would have posts like this. As it is, brides are upset when guests say they'll come, and don't hsow up for whatever reason. Then the hosts have paid for a dinner that won't be eaten. So it's the same concept, but on a muchlarger scale for you, because you were offering more. I think it's worth a try to ask for the money to reimburse. But I don't think she's required. What if she would never have been able to swing it financially, if you didn't offer (and would have simply declined?) If she didn't have the money then, she still doesn't have the money to give to you.
And what's most unfortuante, is that Delta won't help you at all.
Booo Delta, booo!
800-221-1212
404-765-5000
800-323-2323 for SkyMiles Members
800-325-1999 for Flight Information
Did your FI support the idea of paying for everyone? I could see him not supporting that if he thought that was a waste of money in the first place. It's probably all he could do to not say "told ya so".
Also, one time we got taken for some money. My husband clammed up about it pretty quick. I think he felt like he should have been smarter about it. (Like it was emmasculating.) And that given his line of work should have been more guarded than me about the situation.
Good luck. I'm not sure if the e-mail will light a fire. But it's worth a try.
Tell her how much it costs you and that your now out $2600 and you just cant lose that. You dont have to be rude but dont be a door mat either. She obviously doenst think you will ask her for it so why would she say anything????? The only way I would ever pay my guests airfare and hotel stay was if I could fully affored it and not take on a financial burden because of it. Thats just a whole lot of money to just throw out the window. I wish you were my friend!!! lol
I'll throw out the 2600 number when she starts to get ugly cuz I know she will. Really only her, Bf and 1 other are ppl I could have done without. The other 6 have to be there. Their airfare and room just had the budget jump outrangously..This the thing..FI was suppost to have had the money talk with HIS friend long time ago about the airfare and when I asked him all he would say is that she would take care of us down there..well they not going down there. I think that's the problem, he didnt have that talk with her, we in this spot and now I'm all upset and their friendship mostly likely over because of this.
I agree with others. You definitely need to "toughen up" and ask her point blank for the money back. At this point I think you also need to discuss with FH about how his lack of support is hurting and upsetting you. IMO, I would be pretty furious if my FH made me the mediator with one of his friends. He probably has more clout with them than you do. Maybe you should see if he will talk to them about it, and explain that you really need his support in order to resolve the matter. Little issues like this can cause resentment over time, so it is best to work it out now.
Don't be a doormat, be assertive as you can to maximize your chances of getting some of repayment. Good luck!
Have you tried calling and cancelling the room? That would save $1000. If June really is your wedding date then that shouldn't be a problem and check the website on that. There may be some cancellation charge but that would help mitigate your loss.
I'm changing my previous opinion. She DOES owe you the money even legally I'm sure. There was an implied contract. You would buy her this ticket to come to your wedding and she owes you the money if she's not. Once she RSVP'd yes, it was a contract otherwise you would not have bought her ticket. I saw a similarish case on a court show. A woman was asked to be a bridesmaid so she bought her dress and then the bride cancelled the wedding. Not the marriage but the wedding. She was asking for the cost of her dress and she was awarded that. The judge said there was a contract which was breached by the bride and the dress was not something that could be worn again. I believe it's the same with an engagement ring. A man buys this for a woman as a contract that you will get married. If the marriage doesn't go through, the woman must give it back no matter who called it off or pay for it if she wants to keep it. In this case you cannot do anything with the ticket since it is in her name.
I think you should not worry about it awhile and maybe not even until after the wedding because you WILL get your money back although you will probably have to sue. First you need to see about cancelling the room. Then you need to e-mail her (e-mail is better so you have stuff in writing) and you need to say "I'm sorry you will be unable to make it to the wedding. I was hoping you could be there but I understand things happen. Even so, please let me know when I can expect you to reimburse me for the cost of yours and your boyfriends airline ticket and the cost of the room. I was able to cancel your room that was charged $1,000 less a $50 cancellation charge so the total comes to $1,650.00. I understand if you would like to work out a payment plan. I look forward to hearing from you." And of course change those amounts once you hear from the hotel. I would give it a week and if no response then e-mail her again. If after a month, no response, try calling and leaving a message that you have e-mailed her if she doesn't answer. Then e-mail her again and say this is unfortunate but you are going to take legal action.
Then you need to start a file now as it will be harder to gather stuff later. In the file you need a copy of the e-mails you sent her, the charge on your credit card or bank statement for the airline tickets and the room, a copy of her RSVP, and any correspondance regarding you paying for airfare. You also need the response from the hotel that they would or would not refund the room or charge a cancellation fee and then anything you can get in writing from the airline. That they wouldn't refund the ticket or wouldn't give you a voucher. Or at least document now who you called and what they said. That will show you tried. Also grab your phone records if you do call her. That way you can tell the judge and say you called her and left a message to check her e-mail. She can't say she never got it.
Don't worry though. It will work out. Just be calm and take things one thing at a time. And maybe stick your FI on a few items. That's a lot of money to be out. Good luck!
And I just read more information from your other post. If she is still using the tix then she has to pay you back. Even more so. Get ready to sue though. Doesn't sound like she has the right priorities. You will win so don't worry you won't be getting the money back. Don't wait too long though. I'm so mad for you right now though.
Is this seriously the case? You paid for the ticket yet Delta won't change the name. My boyfriend is a musician and he's flied ALL airlines Delta included and gigs get canceled all the time he doesn't get the ticket, the artist does. Granted there's almost ALWAYS a fee whether it's $75 or $300. He actually had an artist book a show the night before another gig he'd already had confirmed for. The artist that made the snafu called the airlines paid a ridiculous amount of money (I wish he was getting that money for the actually gig) and changed the flight, they'll do anything if you're willing to pay their fees. The other thing I'd suggest is a site called consumerist.com they're actually a consumer rights group and they report on the airlines ALL the time, they also have lists of the executive customer service department email addresses. I was having tmobile issues once and I emailed the Exec CSR dept and got EVERYTHING fixed. Try it out you never know if it'll help!
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I posted about this 1-2 days ago. I have since found out more details. I paid for my FI friend airfare along with her boyfriend's totaling $1600. This not include the $1000 extra that I spent to get another room for them. Well they had to cancel since her ex has to leave the country. He has full custody and said that if she didnt take him that she would not see him this summer. I understand all that, I really do. I just dont understand why BF didnt offer to let her go so that I didnt lose all that money. I never did get any more explainion from them. I have not heard from her since this either. She have not offered to replay me, nothing. She is posting all over FB like nothing happened. At this point FI wants to hear nothing more of it . As long as he doesnt hear me complioning about it I can do as I please. So Bee's what should I do???? How long should I give her to offer to repay me for this airfare? It was only to attend our wedding. I do not think it fare that they get to keep this airfare credit to use when they are treating me so badly. If they offered to use it to visit us that would be fine and acceptable but really I dont trust her word at this point.