"Friend" invited me but not SO to her wedding

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yeah I think you should let her know ASAP that you will not be going so that she can invite someone else. When my FI’s father passed away we considered having a very small wedding at a restauran with only 30-34 people invited if we would ahve done that and if I would have allowed +1s then we would have only been able to actually choose about 15 people. So I decided that if we were going to do that I was going to hand pick all 30 of them and no +1s. I’m so happy that we decided to just postpone the wedding and not to go that way, for me I think it would have been such a disapointing wedding.

Post # 4
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

If you are leaning on the side of not going, and her guest list is tight, I would not go and let her invite someone else that does care and wants to go.

Post # 5
29 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

It doesn’t sound you are too close with your “friend”, so I totally agree with @jny1179 – say no and let her invite someone who does care.


Post # 6
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You say you are not upset that she did not invite him but your tone says otherwise, if this is the case, I would be open with her. I am in the same situation with my guests and know how hard it is.

Also, I would not want somebody at my wedding, especialy with a small guest list to refer to me as a “friend” in quotation marks…. so I don’t think you should go, she can invite somebody who actualy wants to be there.

Post # 8
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Personally, I wouldn’t be offended if the guest list is small.  If it had a co-worker I am friends with and she doesn’t know my SO that well, I wouldn’t have a problem with this, as an example. That being said, if you don’t want to go, don’t go. Politely decline and your friend can invite someone else.  

Post # 9
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MrsToBeeMgn:  Eh, if you’re not going to invite people’s SOs, you can’t really be too upset if they don’t show up.  It’s an invitation, not a summons.

Post # 10
3488 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

If it were me, I’d go, but then again I don’t mind going places without DH. 

Post # 11
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m also reading that you do not want to go. Agree, no one at my wedding better think of me as a “friend” 🙂 I’m not paying for them to be there if that’s the case. Don’t go, and don’t feel guilty either. 

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