Post # 1
One of my friends told me how upset she is with her ring. Because I recently got engaged, she confided in me to see if maybe I felt the same way. Keep in mind that while this friend is lovely, she is also constantly stressed out and very hard to please. She ended up ruining her own surprise proposal (boyfriend flew in early from CA to surprise her but she snooped and found out). Yesterday she told me something I was suspecting her to say and she asked me for advice on what to do. I am hoping you all can help me.
She chose a Tacori sapphire but is disappointed with the underwhelmed comments she has been receiving. She thinks it is because her engagement ring doesn’t look like an engagement ring. She is wondering if she should tell him to get another one.
Any advice? Part of me wants to remind her that she’s been designing it for 2 years and should have known. And also, her excitement should not be revolving around how other people react, yet she is also having a 2 year engagement because she believes at no other time will the attention always be on her. A part of me feels bad that she just got engaged and is having these thoughts but another part of me is wanting to say “Girl you are crazy”
This topic was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by ruphiolis.
Post # 2
ruphiolis: She spent 2 years designing it and now she doesn’t like it? And she’s considering “telling” him to get another one? That’s just painfully rude IMO. Yeah, you should love your ring, but it sounds like this girl is never going to be pleased and possibly wants the ring and wedding for all the wrong reasons. There’s not really much you can say to her because at the end of the day it’s not really your business. I’d tell her that if it were me I’d embrace what I have, which was given to me as a token of love by a man who wants to give his whole self to me, and stop being so obsessed about being the center of attention.
Post # 3
I’d tell her to focus on being engaged rather than worrying about the ring. She sounds like she’s got her priorities out of whack.
Post # 4
ruphiolis: my vote is for girl you are crazy. has your friend thought about why she needs all this validation?
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2016 - Church in Shedd Oregon
SarahTee: <<< Fully agreed with this person on everything they said. Good advice right there.
Post # 6
- Wedding: February 2015 - Weddings at Tiffany's, Maleny
Yeah, don’t understand why she’d tell him if she designed it. If she’s the sort of person that makes all the decisions, she could probably just get a different one and start wearing it – as long as it’s a ring and on that finger who really cares lol. But I guess she’s a stress head so SHE cares. I don’t see why she can’t have a few anyway, I used to work at a jewellery store and so many women have a yellow and white set that they can change around.
Post # 7
ruphiolis: This person just sounds like too much to deal with.
Post # 8
I’d disengage frim talking to her about it personally, i cant stand whinny people who are never satisfied.
Post # 9
ruphiolis Her FI let her design her own very expensive ring and now she wants to reject it for the sole reason it’s not getting her enough attention and compliments? And then demand her FI buy her another ring?
She sounds very childish, very high maintenance and very tiresome.
You should advise her to grow up before her FI realizes what a poor choice he’s made. Poor guy.
Post # 10
ruphiolis: Honestly, I don’t feel sorry for this girl in the least bit. An engagement ring on your finger is not there to garner attention and compliments. It’s a representation of your FI’s love. After all, the engagement ring was designed by her and chosen by her. I think you should say to her what you’ve already said, that she got the ring SHE wanted in the first place, and that after all, it isn’t about the ring anyway. I wouldn’t indulge a person like this who is apparently high maintenance and attention seeking… she will probably never be satisfied with what kind of engagement ring she has anyway. I feel more sorry for her FI.
Post # 11
It sounds like your friend is more concerned about the sapphire not being a diamond than not liking the setting. If that’sthe case, why not just ask to switch the stone and keep the setting?
Post # 12
ruphiolis: it sounds to me the only reason she doesn’t like it is because she doesn’t get compliments on it. I don’t get compliments on my ring, should I tell DH to upgrade? absoultely not. As long as I love it, thats all that matters. Remind her of that.
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse
are you willing to sit through two years of her being a diva? Seriously? Every conversation you have with her over the next two years will be all about her…her wedding, her ring, her dress. All superficial and without any substance or concern for anyone else.
I’d tell her that her focus needs to change.
Post # 14
Most women have diamonds. Most people expect an engagement ring to have a diamond. While on the weddingbee, we get excited over non-traditional choices, most people prefer tradition. That’s why it’s tradition.
Your friend picked a non-traditional stone and now the general public are not amazed and impressed by it. Tell her that those people are rude philistines, that her ring is gorgeous, and that she should ignore them.
I think she’s being over the top and needy, but just give her some encouraging support and maybe she’ll stop freaking out.
Post # 15
I had the same situation with my sister who recently got engaged (in March) one day shortly after her engagement we were in the subway and she told out of the blue that she didnt like her engagement ring becaue the stone is way too small!! I was quite surprised. She wanted a blue diomond engagement ring and from what I undrestand they are quite pricy. Her fiance wanted to get a blue diomand and he got the best ring he could afford, which has 4 small blue diomands. He could have bought a cheaper blue stone but didnt. Needless to say my sister apperantly didn’t have a great reaction when she saw the ring and now she is asking for a “statment ring” instead of a wedding band to wear alone.
Don’t know if this story will have a happy ending but so far the fiance is doing everything to please her.