Friend is expecting gifts for a courthouse wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What do you think?
    Rude : (112 votes)
    72 %
    It's ok : (34 votes)
    22 %
    other : (10 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @marinesfiance:  I voted other because it’s rude and not very good ettiquette. I hate the word “tacky.” It’s not glue, it’s rude.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would at least get them a card. I think it’s normal to send annoucnements but the registry on there is a bit much, just as it would be on a normal wedding invite. I’m sure close family and friends will send gifts but to expect them and even having a registry for that type of wedding isn’t really appropriate. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1892 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @marinesfiance:  I’m sure some will send gifts, but IMO she’s gonna get a wake up call. I wouldn’t send a gift, but I would send a congrats card… 

    Post # 6
    Member
    498 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @marinesfiance:  i actually think its kind of rude to not invite people but expect them to send gifts…if people are invited but cant make it and want to send gifts thats one thing…but not to invite them and still expect a gift…sounds a little selfish in my opinion…

    Post # 8
    Member
    898 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @marinesfiance:  I would send a card, but unless they were super good friends or family I probably wouldn’t buy a gift. And if I got a card telling me where to buy a gift for a wedding I wasn’t even invited to, I would laugh, tell FI about it, roll my eyes, then probably throw it in the garbage. How rude!

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    Yuck. That is so rude to expectgifts and send registry info.

    Post # 11
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee

    I’m curious as to how this came up.. she just called you and said “mail gifts in a few weeks?” I’m so confused lol why would she do that

    Post # 12
    Member
    1892 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @marinesfiance:  then again she knows her family better then you do, but it definitly looks greedy to expect gifts for really no celebration thrown…

    Post # 13
    Member
    1822 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I voted “it’s ok”… the gift is for the couple starting their new lives together, not some sort of thank-you gift for throwing a reception. If they are getting married and were close enough to me to invite me, whether it’s in their living room or a courthouse or the Ritz Carlton, I will bring a gift and appreciate registry info to help me choose it.

    Post # 16
    Member
    11002 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    It’s not against etiquette for a couple that is having a court-house wedding to establish a gift registry for the convenience of anyone who may be invited to attend the ceremony or who may later learn of the couple’s marriage and who proactively wishes to seek out such information on his or her own  so as to send the couple a gift.

    It also is not against etiquette for anyone, including a couple that is having a court-house wedding and no reception, to send wedding announcements to their friends and family.

    However, in the U.S., formal etiquette does not allow a couple — regardless of the type of wedding they are having and regardless of whether or not they are having a reception — to include registry information along with either a wedding invitation or a wedding announcement. That’s where this couple is crossing the line.

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