friend is having a head table…

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
8707 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Do as my bridesmaids did — Sit at the head table for a little while then move to sit with your SO.

Trust me, she’ll get over it.

Post # 4
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think it’s “rude” per se, and it’s very common. It may not be ideal though for couples. That being said you won’t be there ALL NIGHT just during dinner and toasts, after that everyone abandon’s their seats for dancing anyway. Hopefully she will seat him with some people he has something in common with and after toasts/eating you can spend the rest of the night together.

Post # 5
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@daniellemc:  To each their own. The way I see it? Your FI is a grownup. He can talk to people if he’d like to, or not, and it won’t be ALL night. Just the sit-down portion. You can hang out with him and dance with him after dinner.

Post # 6
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@daniellemc:  I’m pretty sure it’s tradition? Are you her bridesmaid? I dont think its rude to expect a close friend to want to spend time with you on your wedding night. 

Post # 7
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Head tables are kind of the norm around here.  But I haven’t seen a head table where people don’t pretty much despress from once they are done eating.  I think you are kind of blowing it out of proportion.  I get that your FI may not know anyone else, but I don’t think you will be at the head table ALL night for no other reason than it is unlikely that the bride and groom will want to be at the head table all night. 

And I really don’t think it’s rude that the bride and groom want to be surounded by their nearest and dearest at dinner instead of sitting alone.

Post # 8
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@daniellemc:  We did a head table+dates and everyone liked it.  I personally hate head tables with just the wedding party, unless the wedding party is already paired (i.e. bridesmaids and groomsmen are couples).  I personally think it’s rude to force someone to sit apart from their date, but apparently it doesn’t bother some people.

Post # 9
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@daniellemc:  Every time DH and I left our head table, our bridal party went and hung out with their SOs!

So the only time they were ever really sitting with us was for lunch (we had a luncheon) and toasts!

During the cocktail hour/hors d’evoures/cake/socializing they hung out with other people!

Post # 10
Member
6204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Is there anyone you can introduce him to prior to the wedding? He’ll survive. Learning how to meet people and talk to strangers is an integral skill to being an adult.

Post # 11
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t understand head tables when it’s just the bridal party.  Most head tables I’ve seen (and what we did) had the bridal party and their dates.  And we had people on both sides of the table, so maybe some wouldn’t consider this a “head table.”

Post # 12
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

You won’t be apart all night, trust me.  Every wedding I’ve been to has had a head table.  The bridal party is there for toasts, watching the first dance, and eating, so for much of that you’re supposed to be quietly listening or watching.  Then they go mingle and sit by they’re SOs or other guests.  Once dancing starts everyone will move around.

Post # 14
Hostess
9919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@daniellemc:  I’ve been in your SO’s shoes, and I was a little ticked but mostly because the couple decided to sit me not with the 15 other people I knew who were part of the same circle of friends, but with a girl that I kinda sorta knew from high school that the bride went to Dental Hygeine school with. 

It wasn’t really that big a deal, we’re grown ups, we find ways to talk to people, find things in common.  I’m dealing with the same issue, for me, it’s head table (10 people including FH and myself) or including all their dates AND their kids which bumps the number up to 22 which is just ridiculous.  I personally don’t like sweetheart tables.

Post # 15
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

It’s definitely not ideal. We are doing a king’s table – so that includes our wedding party’s dates. I think that’s an awesome option, because sweetheart tables are too secluded for me. 

Post # 16
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We had a head table (only one of our attendants was married, and his wife sat with his parents and a friend.) I don’t think it’s rude, although I do think taking dates into account is kind. Your FI is an adult and can converse with other adults. Ideal? No. Worth being frustrated over? Probably not.

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