- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
OK, so one of my best friends (lifelong, 15+ years of friendship)/bridesmaids is frustrating me and driving me nuts! She has been sleeping with a guy for months now…Problem is, this guy has had a girlfriend for over 5 YEARS. We both went to high school with this couple. When she called me last summer and told me she had slept with this guy, I was in SHOCK. She has made questionable sexual/relationship decisions in the past, but I never thought she would EVER be the “other girl.” (Senior year of high school, I was absolutely scared to share with her that I lost my virginity to my boyfriend because of how she reacted to another friend in the same position–she freaked out and made the friend feel awful about it).
I really am at a loss with how to deal with this. She obviously enjoys the attention and hides whatever disappointment/embarassment she has with alcohol. She has never had a boyfriend and in my opinion, cannot understand how she is destroying the girlfriend’s life. I know that if my FI was cheating on me, I would be absolutely LIVID with both him and the girl.
The latest “incident” happened last weekend…and she just told me about it a few hours ago. I asked her if she feels guilty and what if the girlfriend found out. She replied “then shes definitely gonna hate me but oh well i dont talk to her or any of her friends , so its not like id lose any friends.” Also, because the newest incident just happened, I am 1 of 2 people who she has told. Obviously, if it got out, it would be traced back to me. Its just SO HARD because the girlfriend’s little sister is my little sister’s best friend. It bothers me (even though its not really my place to say anything).
I told my friend that he is getting what he wants (2 girls) and she’s getting hurt…how is that fair?! She responded, “because its somebody to do something with its more then i have now…i dont love him…i could never see myself loving him i dont even know if i could see myself liking him just because i know what an ass he can be.”
So basically, she’s sleeping around with someone else’s boyfriend for the fun of it and has no guilt because she doesn’t like the girlfriend.
She is going to be standing up next to me at MY wedding….It just sucks that she doesn’t have respect for others’ relationships. She cries to me whenever he stops talking to her or “think she’s crazy,” then the next week tries to convince me that its fine whenever he wants to be with her again. I know its not my problem and I should just walk away or ignore it, but she is one of my very best friends and it is hard to watch her get hurt over and over again.
Obviously, I can’t talk about this to people in real life (we live in a small town….word gets around), so thanks for letting me get this out, I just hate not being able to get through to her, Its her decision though 🙁 Maybe I should just ask her not to talk to me about it if she isn’t going to consider my advice, because it just frustrates both of us.