(Closed) Friend Issue!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Ooh, the poor thing. 🙁  I would honestly just try to gently talk to her about your concerns, and hope that she listens. I don’t know if there’s much else you can do beyond that.

Post # 4
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think you caution her, however she an adult and her mistake to make, it’s not your place to judge whether she ready to have sex or if she proceed in this relationship. Just be a good friend by listening and giving sound advice when she ask.

Post # 5
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

“I plan to break up with the other woman soon” = “I am a cheating dirtbag.”

Unfortunately this may be a mistake she needs to make on her own. I know how tough it is to watch but sometimes all you can do is be there to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart.

Post # 6
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Kacey23:  I agree there’s not much you can do if she’s determined to keep seeing this guy (who I’m guessing only came around once the Lady of the Lake was done with him). But maybe you could offer to take her out to places where she could meet other guys– go dancing with her, do the speed dating thing with her, set her up if you have any good guy friends, have a party where she can meet other folks, etc. My guess is that she doesn’t have much awareness of how men besides this guy view her if he’s been her only intimate relationship.

Post # 7
Member
4574 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Kacey23:  This is def difficult.  You care as a friend and obviously want what’s best for her and see her happy.  I would try to tell her as gently and as nice as possible.  If you guys are close friends and can tell anything to eachother and be honest with eachother then, Im sure she will appreicate it and listen to you.  Wish her the best! GL

Post # 8
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

This guys is obviously bad news but sadly I really don’t think there is much you can do about it. If she askes your oppinion then you can gently express concern, but not much more than that.

 

Hopefully she is able to realise by herself in due time and then you can be there to console and lend an ear/shoulder. Just so long as there’s no “I told you so” :3

 

Wishing you and her the best x

Post # 9
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

There’s no way you’ll be able to talk her out of this. It’s hard to watch people make these kind of bad choices, but the best thing you can do is just be there for her when she finds out the truth.

Post # 10
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Kacey23:  Be kind and caring… warn her gently about this ass-face, but support her in whatever she does. She’s young and inexperienced, and will almost certainly have to fall on her face and get her poor little heart broken several times more before learning her lesson. Sucks, but it’s true.

Post # 14
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Kacey23:  As sad as it sounds, you may just have to let her do it. A friend of mine (a guy) got married after 3 months with his FIRST GIRLFRIEND EVER. First kiss. First person who was interested in him (which is, I suspect, why he was so head over heels) and his first sexual partner.

It has been a year and she’s pregnant with someone else’s kid and has admitted to cheating on him with at least seven different men during their short marriage.

He’s just now sitting back and going, “Wow, I made a mistake and went way too fast.”

It may come to that, unfortunately. It’s sad but you can’t make other peoples’ choices for them.

Post # 15
Member
9684 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@icanhearyousmile:  +1. People need to make their own mistakes, chalk it up to experience, and hopefully learn something. I wish you could learn from the mistakes of others, but no one ever believes it will happen to them.

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