Friend Just Got Married And I'm Afraid They Won't Keep In Contact?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@LovingLifeee:  I would hope nobody would expect them to text on their honeymoon!  That’s the time for just the two of them.

Also, I pretty much lost all my single friends after marriage. Partially because I moved out of state, but married couples and single friends are in totally different places (at least in my experience) and it gets hard to relate.

Post # 4
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@LovingLifeee:  Eh, life gets busy. I don’t think being married is what changes people. I got married in October and I still talk to my friends. You grow up and have different lives. No most people shut their phones off on their honeymoon that I know of. We did. I will go 2 weeks without talking to my best friend but when we do talk it’s like we haven’t missed a day without talking.

Post # 5
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If they’re on their honeymoon they should be having monkey sex, not texting their single friends who miss them already.

When you get married your life doesn’t have to change, but your dynamic with your friends might.  If you’re already worried about it you might put a strain on things.  Just let them get used to married life and be themselves, but together. 

We still hang out with alll of our friends, even the single ones, we just have different priorities now that we’re a team, not just worrying about ourselves. 

Post # 6
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My best friend from the age of 11 got married at 19. To be honest, once she started dating the guy, our time together decreased. After her wedding, in which I was a BM, it pretty much completely stopped. We would meet up once or twice a year, and by the time we were 23 or so, it just became pointless. I still miss her to this day, but the truth is I don’t even really know her anymore. She sent me an invite to her baby shower 2 years ago, but I just felt too awkward to attend. Sometimes I regret that.

I had to cut off my friends when I met my SO, but it wasn’t because of him. There were some serious issues going on with me and the people I was choosing to spend time with. My best female friends now are my sisters and SO’s sister.

He had a group of friends, but they stopped hanging out after the first year of our relationship. Two got married and had kids, and one got a job where my SO works, and he never gets invited to hang out with them anymore. They will occasionally play online games/skype or meet up for gaming, but I’m talking a handful of times a year. It makes me sad for him.

 

Post # 7
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would anticipate a change in your relationship, not necessarilly because of marriage but because different life patterns attribute to changed relationships.  It’s seldom anything personal.  But I would also take heart in the fact that she text you on her honeymoon!  Most couples may be to caught up in each other to do that – we sure were!  Wait and see how your friendship adjusts to the changes.  It’s too soon to worry 🙂

Post # 8
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I lost contact with a lot of friends as they got married.  They get busy with extended families, and just regular life I guess.  I’m sure it’s a normal thing, but I was really, really upset and lonely once I was the last single one left and nobody had the time for me anymore.  Not that it was their fault that I was the last one, but I defintely felt left behind.  It stinks for the single gals, but the dynamic with your friend is bound to change.  It’ll take some adjusting to, but it certainly doesn’t spell the end of your friendship – it’ll just be different in some ways.

Some friendships are stronger than others, and I’ve managed to bridge that gap with a few of the ones who married before me.  Now I’m engaged and most of those friends have babies, so we’re STILL in different places in our lives.  But the ones I managed to stay friends with when they were married and I was single, those are the ones that I’m having zero problem staying friends with now when they are mothers and I’m not. 

I guess I’m just saying that the ones who are worth it, the friendships that are the strongest, will survive the transition.  Any friendships that don’t probably weren’t worth their salt to begin with.

Post # 10
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I know that when DH and I got married I felt that I needed some space for a while to re-coup and to adjust to my new life for a while. After months and months of craziness and stress where DH and I hardly ever even saw one another unless it was wedding related I was ready for a little break from the world.  My best firend actually got married years before me but when I first got married and wanted some time to myself she was offended that I wasn’t available to her as much as before. I know I felt a lot of pressure from her  to be the “same me” and to act like nothing in my life had changed but the truth is when you get married life does change.

 

Maybe I’m a little slow but it took me a while to figure out a good balance. I did end up appologizing to my BFF for hurting her feelings although it was totally non-intentional.

 

Give your friend some time and don’t expect her to be just as available as she was before. But if you are feeling hurt, let her know and you two will be able to understand one another.

 

 

 

 

 

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