Post # 1
I know this section of the hive is usually for those in intimate relationships, but a very close friend of mine is going to be moving to europe for grad school later this summer. We met first as roommates in college (random assignment, I totally lucked out!) and then lived together during for several years after that. I don’t have many friends, and losing one of my closest ones to distance is going to be very sad 🙁 She’s been there for me through the good and bad, and I’m going to miss her a lot! She plans to move back to the states after school, but that won’t be for years to come.
Any advice from those who successfully maintain friendships over such long distances would be greatly appreciated. I want to keep this friendship, but I’ve never experienced a long distance one before. What should I expect?
I also want to get her a little congrats/bon voyage gift, but I don’t know what. I was thinking maybe a necklace or something, but if anyone has any ideas that would be great!
Post # 3
I wish I had advice for you but pretty much every long distance friendship I have had has ended up fizzling. It takes a lot of effort that I don’t think everyone is willing to make. I would suggest trying to have “date nights” once a week or every two weeks where you talk on the phone to get caught up on what is going on with each other. If it goes too long between conversations, you get to a point where so much has happened that you aren’t even sure what you haven’t told each other and a lot doesn’t get said.
I don’t mean to be a downer but maybe this will help you to maintain your friendship!
Post # 4
In my experience, the hardest part about losing a friend to distance is that you’re not in each other’s day to day lives anymore. One of my best friends lives in Philly, and I live about 100 miles away, and even that is enough to have impacted our friendship. I would say just make sure you communicate a lot. Involve each other in your lives. But it will be different and it will make you sad.
I will say, though, that whenever I do see my friend, it is just like it always was. I think that’s the best gauge of whether a friendship is truly meant to last — it’s just like it always was when you see each other again.
Post # 5
@peachacid: “I think that’s the best gauge of whether a friendship is truly meant to last — it’s just like it always was when you see each other again.”
Agreed! I have friends that now live far away and we try to talk on the phone once a month or so but we both get busy and sometimes it goes longer than that. But whenever we get together, it is just like it always was and I still consider us to be good friends even though we don’t get to interact as much as we used to.
Post # 6
@MrsPHopefully: My best friend moved to Australia a few years ago and we still know everything that goes on in each other’s lives. With today’s technology it makes keeping in touch so much easier than 20 years go. We now have email, skype, facebook etc etc etc
My friend and I don’t email constantly because at the end of the day we have our own lives to lead but about once a month we send each other emails with updates, it takes 5 mins to write but is absolutly worth it. We also save up to see each other about every 3 years (free accomodation yey!).
What you need to remember is it is harder to invest in a friendship when you don’t see them on a daily basis but a true friend is someone that you can talk to after months / years and it is exactly the same as where it left off.
As leaving a present I made a photo album / scrapbook thing full of photos and notes which was small enough to fit in the pocket of a suitcase.
It is hard when they initially go, I cried for so long, but you will adjust and it will become easier – I promise!