Post # 1
long story as short as i can make it.. My friend and i met when we were 10 were good friends (or so i thought) for 21 years. Our friendship has been one sided most of the time. My giving and her taking kind of situation. I always called her sister and her kids i always treated as if they were my neices. the hole nine yards. she has never recipicated this. For the first time in all these years i asked for her help with this wedding of mine that is in 19 days. She agreed and seemed ok with coming to montana from oregon. I paid for her hole trip and her dress and accessories for the wedding and her three girls dresses and accessories. She is on welfare and keeps saying she cant afford anything. my fiance always says that im like her sugar mama and in a way over these years i guess i was. my friend talked me into going out to the bridesmaid lunchoen early and just with her and of course i paid. I let her use my van while she was here to beable to have freedom (she doesnt have a license). I asked her to keep the van within a 30 mile radious of this town because i didnt want her getting into an accident. Two weeks of her being here with hardly any help from her for the wedding stuff. I find out she had put 2000 miles on my van in just 2 weeks. (her dad lives 30 miles away and she would stay with him 4-5 days a week) I confronted her about it and she got mad and packed her and her kids stuff and said that she was leaving and she didnt want me to controll her anymore. I got so mad it was like 20 years of anger built up came out all at once. she even went as far as saying that she only stuck around as my friend all of these years because i was stupid enough to keep on giving stuff to her. (xmas presents b-day and if she needed say food id send her some money) (she liked to guilt me into things). Im just venting…. im so fustrated. I was more then there for her all of these years and for her wedding i bought all the food and was there early helping her with everything. I dont know what to do… i told her i didnt want to ever hear from her again and dont ever want to see her again. Im stuck paying for the dress alterations not to mention i already bought everything for her three kids. I cant believe that she backed out like this and left me so upset. My fiance says that she was just lazy and when i finally asked her to do something for me that she couldnt back out of she bolted. Im so hurt and part of me feels like this was a long time coming and the other part of me feels as if I was blinded to her all these years. when she came a few weeks ago i was shocked. I mean she accually came to be here for me for once, i was in awww. What a let down. not to mention the money this has costed me. and emotional pain right before the big day. Im having a hard time getting over this and im trying to come into reality that she wont be there for me at my wedding (she and i use to talk about eachothers weddings all through childhood). this is hard and im so confused and fustrated and angry. what should i do.? Is it me? Im loosing my mind :*(
sorry for the long text thanks for reading
a lot of not so nice things were said and it just doesnt make sense.
Post # 3
i am so sorry this has happened to you. to lose a “friend” a few days before your wedding has got to be tough. it definitely sounds like a one-sided friendship, though. just know that all the people who love and support you will still be by your side when you get married to your forever best friend.
*hugs* to you!
Post # 4
I’m so sorry this happened and right before your wedding. That truly is awful. 🙁
Try to focus on the wedding as much as possible to help take your mind off what happened. Take comfort from your FI, other friends and family and try to get back to being excited about your wedding! You are getting married soon!! Hang in there! 🙂
Post # 5
Right now my best advice is to try not to think of her before your wedding. You’ll have time afterwards. I’m sorry that you went through this! It’s good that she’s not your friend anymore, now she can’t mooch off you.
Post # 6
I am so sorry! I know it’s hard and not much can be said in a situation like this, but think of it this way. She sounds pretty selfish and by the sounds of it, you have come to realise this. She also sounds like she has never been a true friend and will take advantage of everything given the chance. This is probably an opprotunity to weed out the bad in what’s good. Yes a lot of money is lost along with a friendship, but try and focus on your big day and everything else that will come along. You never know, maybe in a few weeks she’ll turn around and realise everything that she’s done.
Post # 7
Wow that is awful. Im so sorry you have had to deal with this so close to your WD. Honestly, it sounds like this women was never truly your friend, she used you BIG TIME. You’re better off without her and her negativity in your life. I have a friend like this and even though we were BFFs all through childhood and high school, she didnt make the bridal party cut and Im even questioning inviting her at all. Surround yourself that care about YOU and love YOU, not your money or what you can offer them.
Post # 8
I’m sorry you’re going through this!
I don’t really have any good advice but at least you found out this now instead of after you wedding…because then she would be in all of your pictures!
Post # 9
I am so sorry 🙁 (((hugs))) Selfish people suck. You did nothing wrong. Focus on your soon-to-be-HUSBAND *YEAY* 🙂 and those who love and support you all around you. Don’t let one person ruin this incredibly special time.
Post # 10
I’m sorry that you are going through this. I wish there was more to say. I agree with the other posters. You have been an incredible friend, and she has just been selfish. Just focus on this time with your FI, and the family and friends that you have. You are getting married in 20 days!!! Woo Hoo!! Best Wishes.
Post # 11
thank you all for your comforting advise. for some reason i still feel so sick about this. All ive been doing the last few days is crying and ive tried going swimming/running on treadmill/ taking a walk in the forest with my fI. I even tried zoning out to the tv but I cant seem to stop thinking about what she did. Its like im evaluating over and over again on how it went and why. why is the biggest question that goes through my mind. Im so excited about finnally marring my fI of 6 years and I guess i just wanted her to be part of it. I dont have any bridesmaids now and my moh isnt exactly here for me. In an earlier post I wrote about that and how happy i was that my friend came. Im fustrated and about to call the doctor and get myself some sort of valum. Im not a pill taker but geez i dont know how much more i can take :*(. thank you all