Post # 1
I’m not really looking for any advice or anything. There’s really nothing that can be done, but it just sucks.
One of FI’s good friends got engaged a month after us. Unknowingly, they picked the same date as we did. FI thought he told all of the guys, but must have forgotten to tell this particular friend (he lives across the country). The friend felt very bad once he found out, but deposits had all been made so it is what it is. They have every right to pick whichever date they choose.
But now all of their friends have to choose. We are only having family in our wedding party, and this friend asked a bunch of the guys to be his groosmen. So now FI will have very few of his close friends at our wedding. I can’t blame them at all, but it really hurts that they won’t be there. Instead of FI being able to celebrate two special events with them, he won’t be able to celebrate any 🙁
Anyone else have a similiar situation?
Post # 3
@anneh1990: Actually we do! Same thing! Except FI’s friend and his FI booked their wedding for the night before ours. About 1000 miles away from ours (we have different hometowns). And we had already been engaged a year so they full well KNEW what they were doing. The date they chose has to do with her job and his grad school, which I totally get, but still, really? And FI is having his three brothers and brother in law as groomsmen and the friend is having some of FI’s friends as groomsmen, so same situation as you actually. It just really sucks that we can’t go to their wedding, first of all, and even more that they can’t go to ours, and our friends have to pick! And you’re right there’s nothing we can do.
Maybe I am wrong but I totally blame the friend’s FI for this. She appears to be the one who decided all this and she has never really cared for our group of friends so I think she doesn’t care that this situation has been created. It is really a shame.
What we have done is let our friends know upfront that we get the situation, and it sucks, and we’ll miss those who don’t make it, but we know it’s not an easy decision for them and we support them, we won’t be upset with them no matter what happens.
It definitely sucks!
Post # 4
- Wedding: Chapel of the Flowers in Vegas
@anneh1990: That sucks. I have to say you are handling it way more than I would. We both had originally wanted a destination wedding but changed it to our hometown so that all of our friends could attend. If something like that happened, we would be devastated.
Post # 5
Before booking, I asked my FI to ask at his workplace (since he is friends with a lot of guys at work, all his age, and all will be invited at our wedding). I also told my friends about our date (before booking, just in case)…up to now, we dont have any friends with the same date, we also called any cousins our age who could get married….but I can assume that there will be someone! We live on a small island – there are a total of 8 official wedding venues (if you dont want to do the wedding at home) …so there is a chance of 8 other weddings and 100% there will be some guests invited to more than 1 wedding (being a small island..it is impossible not to be)…and I know there are already 2 weddings booked on our date because the photographer said NO to 2 others (thank god for booking early!)
Also, I can imagine other couples not asking around if someone else has the same wedding date and just book. So I could have asked about their date and not telling me or did not have any plans to get married and out of the blue plan their wedding in 2 months! Who knows what could happen!
I also checked how much I could on any major sport events possible!
But there is nothing you can do! Just vent 🙂
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2017 - Baton Rouge, LA
@anneh1990: A couple of years ago, i was MOH in a wedding where the grooms good friend was having his wedding the same night. This caused a lot of friends to choose which wedding they were going to.
2 nights before the wedding, the other guy called his off. So other than the groom himself, all their friends ended up at the wedding I was in. you never know how things will work out!
Post # 7
That blows 🙁 still send an invite so the BM can legit invite all of his buddies for the bach party
Wait, he still gets to celebrate one special event- yours and that’s the best one!
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2014 - Beach
I had the same problem. The other couple who chose the same wedding date as ours were not as close your friends and your FI but they were my MOH’s close friends and we have mutual friends. Not only did they choose the same date they chose the same venue. Even when i met the girl i told her that we had already booked bcause our wedding was posponed so the deposit was at the hotel already we just changed dates. she refused to change the location so i changed my date into a week earlier. And now she is having her wedding at another venue telling people that we have stolen their venue !!! Imagine that