Friend of FI has same date…Vent.

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@anneh1990:  Actually we do! Same thing! Except FI’s friend and his FI booked their wedding for the night before ours. About 1000 miles away from ours (we have different hometowns). And we had already been engaged a year so they full well KNEW what they were doing. The date they chose has to do with her job and his grad school, which I totally get, but still, really? And FI is having his three brothers and brother in law as groomsmen and the friend is having some of FI’s friends as groomsmen, so same situation as you actually. It just really sucks that we can’t go to their wedding, first of all, and even more that they can’t go to ours, and our friends have to pick! And you’re right there’s nothing we can do. 

Maybe I am wrong but I totally blame the friend’s FI for this. She appears to be the one who decided all this and she has never really cared for our group of friends so I think she doesn’t care that this situation has been created. It is really a shame.

What we have done is let our friends know upfront that we get the situation, and it sucks, and we’ll miss those who don’t make it, but we know it’s not an easy decision for them and we support them, we won’t be upset with them no matter what happens. 

It definitely sucks!

Post # 4
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: Chapel of the Flowers in Vegas

@anneh1990:  That sucks. I have to say you are handling it way more than I would. We both had originally wanted a destination wedding but changed it to our hometown so that all of our friends could attend. If something like that happened, we would be devastated.

Post # 5
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Before booking, I asked my FI to ask at his workplace (since he is friends with a lot of guys at work, all his age, and all will be invited at our wedding).  I also told my friends about our date (before booking, just in case)…up to now, we dont have any friends with the same date, we also called any cousins our age who could get married….but I can assume that there will be someone! We live on a small island – there are a total of 8 official wedding venues (if you dont want to do the wedding at home) …so there is a chance of 8 other weddings and 100% there will be some guests invited to more than 1 wedding (being a small island..it is impossible not to be)…and I know there are already 2 weddings booked on our date because the photographer said NO to 2 others (thank god for booking early!)

Also, I can imagine other couples not asking around if someone else has the same wedding date and just book.  So I could have asked about their date and not telling me or did not have any plans to get married and out of the blue plan their wedding in 2 months! Who knows what could happen!

I also checked how much I could on any major sport events possible!

But there is nothing you can do! Just vent 🙂

 

Post # 6
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee

@anneh1990:  A couple of years ago, i was MOH in a wedding where the grooms good friend was having his wedding the same night. This caused a lot of friends to choose which wedding they were going to.

2 nights before the wedding, the other guy called his off. So other than the groom himself, all their friends ended up at the wedding I was in. you never know how things will work out!

Post # 7
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

That blows 🙁 still send an invite so the BM can legit invite all of his buddies for the bach party 

Wait, he still gets to celebrate one special event- yours and that’s the best one!

Post # 8
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Beach

I had the same problem. The other couple who chose the same wedding date as ours were not as close your friends and your FI but they were my MOH’s close friends and we have mutual friends. Not only did they choose the same date they chose the same venue. Even when i met the girl i told her that we had already booked bcause our wedding was posponed so the deposit was at the hotel already we just changed dates. she refused to change the location so i changed my date into a week earlier. And now she is having her wedding at another venue telling people that we have stolen their venue !!! Imagine that

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