- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
So I haven’t celebrated my birthday with friends in 5+ years and ended up inviting friends over for a birthday party. I kept having to push the date back because of friends’ SO’s birthdays and other things.
Last week one of my best friends wanted a girls’ night out (some background on our history, we’ve known each other since before we learned how to read and stayed friends until now apart from a break we had in high school when she had a partying phase). I sent her some ideas of where we could go and she decided on places I’ve been to and feel so-so about. I had to hang around the city for a few hours because she set dinner really late and I live too far away so going home and coming back later wouldn’t have made any sense.
When we were hanging out I brought up the party and she was really confused at first and then said she couldn’t come because she’ll be out of town that weekend, that’s why she wanted us to get together for a night out in the first place. She was one of the people who said the party couldn’t be on one of the dates I inquired about because that was her SO’s birthday. A few days prior to our hanging out I texted her about the things I got for the party and she said it sounded great.
She also asked me if I was pregnant and I was annoyed by that. She said it was my boobs but it’s never a great idea to ask anyone if they’re pregnant, especially if they’re on the chubby side, which I am.
Later that night we were talking about house cleaning and I said how I was planning on hiring a maid to do our place each month. She gave me a look and asked why I couldn’t just do it myself and what do I even do when I’m at home that I’m too busy? I’m not as organized and clean as her, so what? I don’t feel like she had to be that judgmental. On weekdays I’m usually out from 8am-8pm and by the time I’ve gotten home, cooked, and had dinner, I’m exhausted. On weekends I do groceries and laundry. But why do I have to even justify myself? I wasn’t even talking about the cleaning thing to her, I was talking to someone else at the table.
My friend still lives with her parents and she probably pays bills and has responsibilities and I know she works full-time too but the comments rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t have a dishwasher, washer and dryer, and guaranteed parking since I live in a multi-family home. My parents don’t cook for me and I don’t know if she takes care of most of her SO’s meals and laundry for him or takes it upon herself to clean half of the house on a regular basis, hey maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t, what do I care?
The thing is, she’s had her moments where she’s really come through for me and been a supportive friend. Then there have been moments where the other friends have had issues with her and me and another friend try to help smooth things out. I just don’t know what was with her that day.