(Closed) Friend scheduled wedding on same day as mine

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I would be a little upset, especially if some friends will have to decide who to pick.  If I were you, I’d get your STD’s out ASAP!  🙂

Post # 5
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would be bummed because some friends will have to choose which wedding to go to. Seems like something she should have ‘double checked’ with first! 

 

Post # 6
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It seems odd to me that even if you two aren’t close anymore, she wouldn’t ask some of your mutual friends when you were holding your wedding. If it were me, I’d want to make sure all the crossover friends could make my wedding, and I’d avoid booking it on your day. I’d say you have every right to be upset about it, but I honestly have no clue how to handle it. I’ll look forward to the responses from other bees!

Post # 7
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

You already told her the date, but didn’t save out STDs.  Maybe she really made a mistake, maybe she didn’t.  Either way, it’s booked. 

But even if you send out your STDs first, I think the mutual friends are just going to go to the wedding of the person that they are closest with. 

Perhaps you guys can schedule a date sometime after the wedding where you and all your mutual friends can get together and you and your friend can bring your wedding pictures so you can all share? 

Post # 8
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’d be a little pissed as well! OP I totally understand where you’re coming from! Its possible that it was an honest mistake and your friend forgot or had your wedding written down for a different month. As PP mentioned, send out your STDs asap!

Post # 9
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would be upset!  It seems very bizarre she wouldnt double check with you because you have so many mutual friends!  As others have said, send out STDs soon to cover yourself, but your mutual friends probably are just going to go to the wedding of whoever they are closest too, no matter whose STD they get first.  It is what it is …

Post # 10
Member
5007 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would be pissed! I would talk to her calmy and rationally and see if one of you can switch your date. 

Post # 11
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

i would defintely be upset. i got engaged valentines day and booked my wedding in april. later that month on a girls trip i asked two of my gf’s from college to be bridesmaids.

one of them just got engaged and is planning a destination wedding within a month of my wedding….so all our friends will have to take a day off for mine and a couple days off for hers? i was mad about the same month, i cant imagine the same day!

it sounds like geographically you guys are pretty far apart, so maybe that will help make your friends decisions easier?? do most of your friends live close to you or are they also far away?

maybe if the plane rides/car rides dont take care of it….start talking to your mutual friends. explain the situation at hand and explain how much it would mean to you if they attended your big day. sure its kind of “poaching friends” if you will….but she started it! Wink

Post # 12
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow, this is straight out of Bride Wars! I agree with others – send out your STDs STAT! Then watch Bride Wars. 

Post # 13
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry! That’s frustrating. Especially since you guys have mutual friends. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be much you can do, except send out invites and see who’s coming.

Post # 14
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@swarlesk:  hahahahha!! I was thinking the same thing – June wedding at the Plaza!! lol

Post # 15
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

it sucks but oh, well, what’s done is done.   don’t dwell on it or it will make your whole planning process miserable. 

unfortunately it will put some friends in awkward positions.

Post # 16
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

i wouldn’t care that much you don’t seem all that close anymore. It is what it is, I wouldn’t waste your energy being upset about it.

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