- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
Okay so… I know a lot of other bees are dealing with issues like this… I’m not really looking for advice or anything, just need to get it off my chest. Please bear with me, it’s an interesting story….
There is this kid I was very close friends with when I was in college. He’s a really nice guy, but he’s kind of socially awkward / kinda depressed / didn’t have a lot of friends. A lot of it had to do with family issues (he is gay and his family doesn’t approve). I always thought he was a good friend and geniunely felt bad for him, BUT he always got uber jealous when I hung out with other people and especially so when I started dating FI. He didn’t like to share his time with me and eventually as my relationship grew with FI, I drifted away from my friend. I never saw him again after graduation, but we still check in on each other though FB, ims, texts, etc.
I should also note that he has this really great knack for making me feel guilty – for not hanging out with him more or keeping in touch with him, whatever. When I told him that FI and I were getting married he did not congratulate me or express his happiness for us in any way. I just chalked it up to his social awkwardness and am truly not offended. He did, however, ask if he could come to the wedding. (Cue the guilt). I am not planning on inviting him – in fact, because of my huge family we are not planning on inviting many of our friends (which of course is what I told him when he asked if he was invited). He asked if he could come as my brother’s date (who is also gay…). When I said he already had a date, he said well if you are only inviting x number of friends, what’s one more friend? I will give you a big enough gift to cover whatever it costs to have me there.
Why do people always try to do this? It’s not about the money! It’s about having the people we are closest to us attend our wedding! FI and I are already cutting friends off of our list because we have over 200 guests! And yes, we used to be good friends, but on my list of people to invite to the wedding… well, he is very close to the bottom. Of course I can’t tell him that, but how many times do I have to say “family only” to get it through his head?? He keeps asking to come as my brother’s date, which is just absolutely ludicrous!!
*sigh* Anyways, I don’t really know what the point of this post is. I genuinely feel bad that I can’t invite him, but the reality is… we’re not that close anymore. I have a laundry list of friends who I sadly cannot invite. I hate that he keeps asking me if he can be invited and I hate that he constantly brings it up.
Wow… sorry this was so long… I apparently just really needed to get that one off my chest!!