Post # 1
Hi, was hoping for osme advice – I invited an old “friend” to my shower. We’ve known each other for a long time, but we used to be much closer than we are now, because she’s gotten pretty out of control/ wild and selfish. I almost didn’t put her on my shower list, but then decided to for old time’s sake. I came to find out from my mom and bridesmaids (who threw my shower as a surprise), that she was the ONLY person they couldn’t track down for an RSVP, despite multiple attempts to contact her. One of my BM’s directly had a conversation with her reminding her to RSVP to my mom, but she still never did. Then she didn’t show and (according to FB) went out for another person’s birthday instead. So, I kind of want to just not send her a wedding invite. But she’s definitely expecting to be invited because I already asked her for her BF’s last name so I could invite them both (before all this shower drama). So my question is, is it wrong to not invite someone to your wedding after a) you told them you were going to and b) you invited them to your shower but c) they totally blew off your shower and couldn’t even bother to rsvp? Thanks!!
Post # 3
I sympathize with you. I can see why you’d want to disinvite her, you’re probably still upset with her behavior and are afraid she will repeat her no show act on your wedding day. (I suspect there’s something deeper behind her actions) However, I would just invite her, despite it all, just to be the bigger person and because I would hate to look back and regret not having a good friend to share the day (who knows, she might just grow up or change her ways in the future). But at the end of the day, it’s really your (and your fiance’s) special day, do what makes you feel comfortable but make sure not to act out of anger.
Best of luck 🙂
Post # 4
I think you should go with your gut and do what you want to do. If your tight on numbers to begin with, then cut the tie!
Post # 5
Given the fact that you already told her that you were going to invite her to the wedding, I think you have to send her an invitation. Don’t get me wrong, I would be completely peeved if the same thing happened to me, but at least you will end up coming out of this as “the bigger/better person”.
Also, not to excuse her behaviour.. but at least she didn’t RSVP that she would come and then was a no-show. I have learned from friends, that some people just are not “shower people” (they have shown up because they felt they had too, but complained the whole time and made the shower miserable for other people).
Have you had a personal discussion with her to find out why she didn’t come or has she offered any type of excuse/apology?
Post # 6
Since you already told her that she’s invited and she was invited to the shower, I would go ahead and invite her to the wedding. And I would just hope she doesn’t show to that either.
Post # 7
I’m going to be the voice of dissent. My FI and I have a new rule “If you are a pain to track down now, you will be at RSVP time for the wedding reception”
We havepeople we’ve given MANY chances to contact us by calling, texting, emailing, FBing and after 30 days if we did not hear from you were you cut from the list.
She may not be a’shower person’ but she could have had enough respect to tell you should could not come.
I say give her invite to someone who deserves it.
Post # 8
Thanks bees! I sent my invites out this morning actually and sent her one. I’m still pissed, but I didn’t want to be pretty and use our wedding as a chance to try and get back at her. Now we’ll see if she actually bothers to respond to this invite…