Post # 1
I knew it was bound to happen but I got a facebook message from an overseas friend today asking when my wedding was. I’m worried that if I answer, she is going to think that she is invited when she is not on my invite list. I’m actually shocked considering we haven’t kept in touch (not because of the move overseas, we drifted years before). I know I need to say something so she doesn’t come out here for a wedding shes not invited to, I just don’t know what to say. Any suggestions?
Post # 3
Is there a reason in particular she’s not invited?
Just keep it vague, something like “Yes, we’re having a small family wedding in August.” Words like “small” and “family” usually tip people off.
Post # 4
@KatyElle: Honestly, we aren’t really friends. We had the same friends years ago and they all broke up over some fight when I was living out of state. Since then, we never really talked. I feel bad because she knows some of her old friends are in my wedding but I don’t feel the need to invite her since she is not part of their crew anymore and its not like I’m inviting everyone but her.
Post # 5
She’s not necessarily asking because she expects to be invited…maybe she is also planning an event and doesn’t want to conflict cuz she knows she will be inviting some of the same people you are?
And what KatyElle said.
Post # 6
She may also just think of you fondly and be genuinely excited for you, with no expectation of being invited.
I ask people on FB all the time what’s going on with xxxxx activity, not because I am fishing for an invite.
Post # 7
When people who are not invited ask me, I give them a vague answer, like “In the Fall” or “Late September”. When they ask about my reception I say “On a military base”
Post # 8
When someone who wasn’t invited to my wedding asked when it was I would say “In June”. If they persisted for more details, I would say “It’s going to be a small event in mid-June”. 100% of the time they got the hint right away or after my second comment. It’s a polite way of answering their question, but making it clear they aren’t invited.
You shouldn’t feel obligated to explain yourself to her unless she really should be invited to the wedding. But it doesn’t sound like that’s the case and honestly no one should ever assume they are invited.